frustrated i cant take this bs anymore?

Question

my 13 yr old come home to me today just stopped in and told me that their telling them they will have to live with them ex and his gf and that they do not in no way have a say in where they want to live and they do not in anyway get to talk to a judge .they have no choice they will have to live with them .


my son was a mess and very upset.crying to me that he will not live there .

i told him he will get to talk to the evaluator and the judge am i right?

he is over there threating them.


my 14 yr old told him there is no way in hell any of us is living with you .

this is what i have to deal with.
seeing my kids being threatened and scared .


i have to put up with this for another 6 months before the eval then wait for the eval to be done.
then go to a modified hearing and if we dont agree then go to trial honestly how long will all this take..i do not know how much more i can take.

i am not violating the order i havent once

yes i have posted before Custody cases?
ok here is whats going on ...i am a single mom of four teenaged boys ,well one just turned 18 and is graduating.whom i am very proud of i might add .
well i have been divorced 10 1/2 yrs i have custody well now he is trying to get them from me .
i will tell you what happened when i told my ex i wanted a divorce i also told him i am keeping the boys and i am going to go for support well i was young and dumb he turned around and told me he would give up his rights and never see his kids well i didnt want that kids need there father in there lives well he took them every other weekend no problems for 9 yrs we remained friends of course for the kids sake.well he got married a second time to a nice women got along with her she is great .well he left her after they had a son together and she was 5 months pregnant for another women well since this new gf come into our lives its been hell .she is trying to control everyone and telling myse

telling myself and his soon to be 2 ex wife how to raise our children she controls my ex and tells him what to say to both of us .well anyway back to why i am scared ok april 25 th 2006 my ex came to the house to pick up our 16 yr old son he wanted to stay over his house the other boys stayed with me .well our other son whom is gonna be 13 was coming down the street well my ex started on him see he sprained his ankle a couple of weeks before this his p.t. told him to start using it so he was well his father was like well it looks like your better your out jumping around and acting like a retard your acting as if you never hurt urself well my son got upset walked away from his dad came over to me to tell me about what his dad said all i know is next thing he has him over aganst a garage i couldnt see what was going on i assumed he was yelling at him from walking away till he went to leave my son was holding his throat that is when my other sons had told me he had him by the throat

i said why didnt you say something i took my son into the house he was holding his throat and crying he couldnt breathe well my bf took him to the sink trying to splash cold water on his face to calm him down when my son coughed there was some blood in his spit he wanted me to have his dad arrested i couldnt do it cause i knew one day he would want to see his dad again so i told my son come on we are going to the doctors they took xrays he sprained our sons neck and gave him a contusion well after that happened the two little ones didnt want togo over there so i wasnt gonna force them i told them when you are ready pick up the phone and call him i would never stop you from seein your father i did tell the gf what had happened and she said fathers do that to there children i said not to mine she said well he does it to my son to keep him in line i said well you can then ,but he is to never touch my sons again well he stopped my support of 50 aweek to nothin so i took him to domestics fo

for support now he wants to sue me for custody.i am a full time mom ,i take them to all there appointments (dentist&doctors).i take care of them when there sick.i was with my son all the times he had surgery .i was here for my boys since birth ,here for them 24/7 they are my life.nothing comes before them . he wasnt always in there lives he has been in alot of different relationships were those women we more important then his boys ,well not me i have been with the same man for 10 yrs i lived on my own 9 of those yrs and raised my sons.

still raising them doing the best i can .i go to school meetings i do everything i can to get the kids the help they need in school.i cant lose them they are my life. my world.everyone tells me not to worry about it i am a great mom and everyone knows it.my sister said tina it will come out that you have been there for your boys always. that you take great care of them ...see when i would call my ex and tell him all the help i get for my boys he tells me there is nothing wrong with them they need a foot up there **** .he would be like give them two me for a couple of weeks i ll straighten them out im like no thats ok .see he was abusive when i was married to him i know what that meant and i am still afraid of him till this day

just wanted to let everyone know my sons are 16 going on 17 in june and my 14 yr old will be 15 in feb and my youngest is 13 gonna be 14 july.

Answer 1

What is wrong with you? These are your kids, and there is no reason why you shouldn't have called the police. I don't care who he is that is considered abuse and he needed to be reported, now I work in the medical field and if a child comes in with injuries such as your sons we report it to the police IMMEDIATLY, I am trying to figure out why that didn't happen with your doctor's office, they are MANDATED to report it and if they don't they can be fined a very hefty fine at that. Okay now back to your as*hole ex husband, he THINKS that the kids will not be able to voice themselves in court HE IS SO DEAD WRONG, what I would do if I were you is this, in every state they have what they call emergency hearings (that is not the techinical court word for it) and you can go and file for an emergency hearing in which you will go before the judge asap, and tell the court the situation and what your ex has been doing and how abusive he is to the kids and you want to stop all contact with him because the kids are afraid of him Also request a restraining order for you and the kids. The judge will then order that the kids talk to a court appointed attorney (maybe) yours are older, or will ask to speak to the kids themselves. they are old enough now to make their own decisions on what they want and who they want to be with. You need to make sure you have a excellent attorney, and all the documentation in the world to back what you are saying up. The judge will also take into consideration that the kids have been with you this whole time and why does the father all of a sudden want custody. HE (YOUR EX) needs to prove to a court that you are all of a sudden unfit to take care of these kids, which I know is not going to happen, it takes alot for a judge to take the kids from their mother after all these years and place them with their father who doesn't even really support his kids, which is another factor you can bring up in court, he pays you 50 dollars a week for all them kids, and now has stopped paying you all together. The judge is going to at some point get that child support order modified to where he has to pay a hell of a lot more then he is now. I have been there with this one, my ex after 8 years decided that his new GF was smarter than the average bear so when she suggested to try and go and get the kids from me, not only did he lose, he had to have monitored visits for the first 9 months. Now he only gets them one saturday out of the month. They don't realize what they are getting into when they try and do stupid things like this. Go and get him. If you want any more info e-mail me and I will try and help some more.

Answer 2

Report your ex to the police for grabbing you son by the throat an get a copy of the medical report. Have all your sons keep a journal with dates and times of things he has done or said to then ( as accurately as possible -NO made up stuff either).
When they go for evaluation,they may be able to enter the journals into evidence then or might have to wait until you go to court.
It is important to keep these journals.
Also if your sons can show enough maturity to the evaluators and the judge,they may be allowed to have a say in where they want to live.

Answer 3

OMG - I didn't see this question before I answered the last one.

Your son said he wanted to press charges and you told him NOT TO?? What is *wrong* with you? He assaulted your son - and you, the person who he thinks is supposed to be his champion - his protector - you said NO???

Your child is being abused, and you think it's more important for him to "see" his "father," so you don't take the steps to keep him safe?

What are you gonna say when your ex crosses the line even more and slams your son's head into a wall?

Man, these kids deserve better - rant at me all you want, but neither one of you have these kids' backs. I feel sorry for them and the lessons they're learning about relationships.

That is the most idiotic thing I've ever heard. Really and truthfully. If my husband ever laid that kind of hand one either of my children, his *** would be in jail - and my children would *always* know that I *protected* them.

WAKE UP before one of your children is seriously *seriously* harmed - or before one of them finally snaps and kicks the crap out of your ex and *they* end up in jail.

You want custody of these kids, but you don't even take the most basic of steps to show that not only is he unfit, but he's abusive? GROW UP - I don't care if you're 20 or 60, you are NOT behaving like a good mother. Don't *ever* tell your children that they should take an assault for *any* reason.

Good God.

Answer 4

If your ex and his gf are threatening your children to try going to get a protection order for them to stop your husband from seeing them until the court date. You kids can defiantly talk to the judge when the time comes assure them of that. And the judge does listen to them. Your ex and his gf are emotionally abusing these children also if they don't want to go to their fathers house its their choice, they can say no. If you have a lawyer contact them right away and let them know what the ex is doing, maybe the court date can be pushed up to settle things. The best of luck to you. Sounds like the ex has got himself a looser and unfortunately you and your children are being dragged into the middle of it.

Answer 5

hello,
well first is there any type of coustody papers saying that who has what with the children????you could get supervised visitation if you do not trust him to treat your children right and if the new gf lets him abuse her children then she is just stipid.......the doc didn't report him to dfs????that is child abuse and what if he would have done that till he passed out then they could come after you for letting him do that to his own son and your son being at your house when he did it????and yes they do have a mediator that can make your childrens voice herd in court....but you have to ask for one they may still be too young to talk to the judge their self.....it could take up o 2 years but most cusody cases end in about 1 so just ask for a mediator and the oldest child gets to state their opinion to the person.....so they do have a little voice in court ....just keep your fingers crossed and it will work out for you...just mean while don't let your children around him alone while its his visiting time and the other gf needs to stick up for her children and him....abuse is taught and they think it is okay to abuse when they get older....disapline is 1 thing but chocking is abuse....good luck

Answer 6

I even have been by numerous a similar, with teenage infants. I hate to declare this even though it does not end until eventually you the two the two desperate to get alongside, or until eventually somebody provide up and the different man or woman prevails. all of it is going with the duty of being a be certain, it particularly is a minimum of 18 yrs...whether fairly your a be certain continuously. The financial and custody themes final until eventually a minimum of their 18yr old. i've got confidence the superb factor you're able to do is instruct your self, and do each and every thing you are able to to verify concerning the approach, your rights and your infants's rights. Be solid, and bear in mind even however they are going to at last enhance up, they gained't forget the way you or your ex have acted. And in the tip they are going to understand the actuality, because of the fact like a number of childrens they seek for to understand themselves by staring at their previous.

Answer 7

this is sad he put the childern through this emotional ride! i would really keep legal advice close by at all times on this. he can even probably direct you to some child counseling that may be needed now , after the emotional abuse they are having to go through. i would be totally stressed out here too if i were you!