I am not sure how to tell my fiance that I don't like my engagement ring?

Question

Ok, first please don't tell me that the ring doesn't matter and only love matters. I got that.
He makes plenty of money and before we got engaged he told me how big and pretty my ring would be...so, I got excited for that ring!!!
Well, I got mine...its nice and everything...white gold band (that needs to be dippped every couple of months so it doesn't turn yellow)
And little tiny tiny diamonds all the way around the band..so itty bitty that dirt gets stuck around the diamonds and it looks black.
The center stone is less than a carot.
Its not impressive to say the least.I wanted something different and I understand that he tried but the ring is cheap and he cheaped out on me and that is exactly how I feel. He cheaped out on me. He has spent more money on himself this month than he spent on that ring.
I know that when I tell him I want something bigger and shinier its really going to hurt his feelings. How can I break it nicely? Thanks for your time! (my family couldn't believe it)

Kelly, My wedding is already planned. Its BIG and its GREAT and my FAMILY PAID FOR IT!!
The ring does matter. I have to look at it 24/7!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 1

Why don't you pretend that you lost the ring? (at the beach preferably, so it's not able to be found). You can act really sorry about it, then when he goes to get you another one, tell him you will go with him and pick one out. Make sure you pick out the expensive one that you wanted.

Answer 2

I'm not sure how to go about this one.... I know people keep telling you that an engagement ring is picked out by the guy, and that it's a present, and that the girl pretty much has no say in it, but I think that's totally crazy. My fiance and myself went to many stores to find MY perfect engagement ring. He didn't want to buy it himself because he knew that if he picked something I didn't like that he would feel bad. I mean we're the ones that have to wear it for the rest of our lives. My fiance let me pick the ring that I wanted, and that I absolutely loved, and that's the one that he got. I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting an engagement ring that you love. And as far as all these people getting upset because you have an opinion, well I say screw them. You're allowed to have an opinion. As far, as telling him, if you do decide to do it, just do it delicately. I mean I'm sure he's probably gonna get his feelings hurt, but if you really don't like it then just tell him. It would probaly be a lot easier on you 2 if you just learned to accept it, but if you find that you just can't, then be honest with him. Good luck with him!!

Answer 3

I'm sorry to disturb you, but i feel a little strange with your story.

How can you know that he makes a plenty of money? From what did he wear or what else? Because he bring a car whenever he take you for date? And the strange becomes bigger when you said that all the married party will be paid from your family, if it's true (?) How does if he only make a fool of you?

As I know the engagement rings should be simple but lovely ones, it's no need to use the big and complicated ones with a lot of diamonds inside. As well as you put both of your names so it's OK. Even though married rings should not be complicated ones because it's just only sign to show that the couple will keep their love forever ( that's why it should be simple gold to show the immortality of your love). And not the diamonds or other things and make they looks silly and more materialistic. Love is not materialistic thing.

I see that you marry him for his money. if you marry him because of that, you will not get real life with him, you will have disappointed life even though you get a lot of money because of that. You must avoid this kind of thinking. But it becomes different if he make a fool of you, you will be suffered as long as you live with him because of his liars.

So what do you think?

Answer 4

to be honest you should not feel bad that you don't like your ring! i mean come on the ring is the big part, he pays for the ring and the brides family the wedding. for years that is how it is suppose to be. i don't see the problem. maybe he doesn't have the money you say he has. or maybe the day of the wedding he will pop out with the real thing. is he the type of person to put you through things to see where you head is? if so leave it alone. but if you have a good relationship that you can talk about things like that then you need to tell him. or when the ring gets all dirty looking then show him and tell him we can exchange or get a different one so he can see first hand. if that doesn't work then he is thick and you need to be straight up!

Answer 5

Well you certainly are not wishy washy on how you feel.
Should this marriage even take place. How is it going to be once you are married and kids come along is he going to be stingy with everyone from now on. Why has he not paid for anything in this wedding??? Now adays the paying is spread around to who can cover what expense.
What he should have done was present you with a right even that one you have now say hey marry me, when you say yes, he they says we will go and pick out a set of rings yours and mine together so you can have the rings of your dreams, i just wanted to have this one on hand when i asked you.
I think Mr. cheap-*** can cough up with a better ring, have you seen the wedding band, you should, you may not like that either, Go ahead and tell him, your right about having to look at it for a looooooong time.

Answer 6

Well, neither do I want to nor can I actually say if you are
being picky and too demanding or whether the ring is
acutally sort of cheapish.

I do get the IMPRESSION though, that there is some true
feeling missing in your relationship, probably on either side.

Try to find that out: Do I love this man including his taste
and what he is prepared to spend on him ...
What am I am really looking for ?????


All the best .

Answer 7

Don't tell him you think it looks cheap and too small....just tell him as JC said that the gold is rubbing off and one of the diamond chips fell out. Tell him about the dirt clogging the diamonds, etc. But...repeat...don't tell him it's too small and cheap. You don't have to hurt his feelings. Then ask him to let you help pick out the next ring because you always had a dream of what kind of engagement ring you wanted.

Answer 8

I think if you are unhappy with what is symbolic of his love and commitment to you now, you will be later too.

Avoid games and tell him how you feel. I think you have more of a problem wrapping your head around what you believe to be "This is how little you think of me" than the ring itself.

Maybe the two of you should go and pick out a more suitable one together. Something you BOTH can live with.

Answer 9

I don't think you should really care. But if you're really disappointed with it, then pick at it, as if trying to clean it. (Which, as you showed, will be.) Anyways, if it's just an engagement ring, the wedding ring will surely be nicer. Maybe he's trying to spring a love surprise on you by making the wedding ring wonderfully exquisite. If so, then I'm sorry for telling it to you. Don't worry, I'm pretty sure he still cares lots about you.

Answer 10

I can totally understand. Mine bought me an ugly diamond, and I wanted a pearl. So I told him I couldnt accept it, and why. He took it back. And I got the pearl that I wanted. No big deal to the guy. But the ring is a big deal to the gal. She's the one who looks at it daily. And if it's not something you like, than you're simply gonna be miserable. So WHY keep it?

Answer 11

I had the same problem, I just told my husband "that I really love you and I know you put your heart and sole into picking out this ring", but from what you said in the beginning I would would just tell him "I really had something elsle in mind of what you had said and keep in mind I love this ring because you gave it to me, I was just wondering maybe can we go together and pick out something that represents you and I so that when I look at this ring everyday of my life I can think that we did this together and smile"! Good Luck!