Please help i need advise?????????????

Question

I am getting married a day and a half from today and i am having some major second thoughts. The man i am engaged to is from a wealthy family and my family is upper middle class.His family is paying for the wedding lets just say it in the thousands range and i feel like i cant call it off.I feel like i am not myself at all in this realtionship. I felt like if i went along with the stuff he liked and pretended to like it i was making him happy but now i feel misreable. I feel like i am going insane i cant stand how anal he is about some things he is but i feel obligated to keep him happy.I was talking to someone at work(no i did not cheat)casually and it hit me that i am about to marry someone that i have nothing in common with?I dont know what to do is this cold feet or something more?

I also feel like he gives me no credit he made me go to an etiquette class when my manners are fine just to make sure before i met his parents.Also when he became a vegegan i had to stop eating fast food.

I am 22 and he is 26 so we are both pretty young and i kind off feel like i dont love him the way i should.

felt this way for past 6 months

Answer 1

Sounds like cold feet with an edge of honesty. I would go for a long walk with yourself, alone, and try to sort it all out. Is it jitters or are you truly not in love with this man?

It ought to be the best time of your life.

Answer 2

If you are having major second thoughts, my advise would be to go with your feelings. Don't worry about the money. If you are having these feelings now it will not get any better. I was married for 15 years and I had those same feelings before. Needless to say it did not work out. I did not finish college because children came along. There were also other things that I wanted to do but did not. My husband had his interests and we went with that. I would rather not go through with it and run the risk of making a few people mad than live a life that I was not happy in. Good luck to you and I hope you make the right decision for you.

Answer 3

hello, and congrats on your upcoming wedding.
Cold feet is very, very common as the wedding creeps closer. In most cases it can be a good thing to feel aprehension, because it means you are thinking of the promise of being a partner to one person for the rest of your life and no other.
Perhaps you feel you have little in common with this man right now, but there had to be something that drew both of you together. Some spark on both of your parts that signalled this was a person that you could spend your life with. Do not let fear keep you from a life of happiness.
Many people marry for the wrong reasons, none of which you mentioned. This is not an arranged marriage, and you did not say you were pregnant of using marriage to escape an intolerable situation, or escaping poverty.
Likewise, you didn't say he was abusive to you in any way, and I bet if you think on it, there is plenty that you have in common
My wishes for a long and happy life together!!!

Answer 4

Hi...for starters, if you've felt this way for the past 6 mos., love, I think it's safe to say this is not a case of pre-wedding jitters. However, you did say "yes" to a lifetime of marriage to this man, so it had to be something about him that you cherish...right? Let 's start there, what are his positives? After taking that into thought, consider this: choosing a lifetime partner is about security and stability. Do you feel safe and secure with this man? Does he/will he always have your best interests at heart? After thinking upon that, also consider this...and think hard about this, because it's important: Does he love you? Do you know what he loves about you? Have you ever asked hm? How about this...: Do you love him? What do you love about this man? Forget the material possessions, the money...you can make your own money, and acquire all that you desire in your own time. In life, love is everything. The person who gives it willingly and doesn't receive it back, is truly dying inside. I wonder if there have been times during this relationship when you've felt like you were dying inside...? It's never too late to say "no", or "let's wait". Treasure your heart. Next to your body, it's God's greatest gift. Stop thinking about everyone else's feelings; begin to guard your own...start asking questions, and getting answers...RIGHT NOW. Don't be satisfied with just any responses. Sit down, make him listen to you, and get the answers you are looking for. If he doesn't sound right, any hesitations, step away.
Oh yeah...also tell him you'll be taking no more classes to appease him or his family. They either love you for you or go to hell! You are happy with who you are...and so are a lot of others that love you and know you (Sorry, I had to get that one out!).

Answer 5

It amy be cold feet but you owe it to yourself to be sure. If you truly feel you have nothing in common then the marriage is doomed anyway. Its nice to want to make people happy but what about you? Theres always going to be things that drive you crazy about someone. Just please think before you do this. Its better to make the decision now instead of after the wedding, and its never to late to call it off. There may be hard feelings from some people but at least you will have peace of mind. Good Luck to You

Answer 6

Y'all need to have a talk. I don't want to tell you if your having just cold feet because i don't know the relationship you're in. Look in your heart if you love him you wouldn't have to question it. Not to discourage you but marriage is very hard and you can make it work if both of you put in 100%. Having nothing in common with is pretty hard but people can change if they love each other. What is this class you had to take that's crap. They should like you for who you are. People always trying to impress it shouldn't be like that. You should be same way as when he met you. I hope everything works out for you. Remember do you love him if not I think you know what to do. GOOD LUCK!!!

Answer 7

DON'T DO IT... If its a mistake don't get married. Resolve your life now or you will live unhappy till it breaks you. You will live a lie out and eventually your harmless talking at work will turn into something more. Why lead the guy on. He thinks your cool with everything and your not. Tell him now, you owe him that before his parents shell out bucks and you end up leaving in less then a year. Or, worst case scenario....You make babies and then get out. Leave now and you won't have a whole mess of problems later. Or, you can run to another state and claim you were kidnapped. Then sign a book deal and make lotsa bucks. Naaa just kiddin. But hey, if you call it off and your not happy, call me, we'll do shots till you puke. Trust me you'll feel much better.

Answer 8

If you feel unhappy with the man you're marrying, then you should call the wedding off. Marriage is about love and happiness, and though people say that opposites attract, a lot of times that's not the case at all. If you can't say that you love this man, then you're setting yourself up for a whole lot of bad in the years to come if you marry him.

Answer 9

When you fall in love it's meant to be unconditional, i thinks that one of the great things about being in love, you don't have to be something your not with the person your in love with... Don't get married if it not what you want, it doesn't matter how much money anyone has spent, Whats important in life is being happy and being true to yourself... and if his guy is as controlling now just wait till your married, he sound like he's grooming you to be a wife! NOT HIS FRIEND, PARTNER, SOUL-MATE NOT EVEN HIS LOVER.. go with YOUR gut feelings it'll get you to were you really want to be.. If you don't want face him write a letter and go away for a wk, sort your head out, Don't feel bad it's just part of your life's book, and tomorrow you could be starting a new chapter, either as a unhappy married woman, or someone strong and single who'll starts enjoying life... they're only one person who's writing your book and that's YOU! Don't Waste it good luck

Answer 10

it may be cold feet and may not. how long have you been with this person. because if you have put up with him so long then you must like something about him that made you say yes to marry him. if you were in this relationship before the marriage and didn't have a problem it may be cold feet. but don't do nothing that you aren't sure about doing. i am tired of seeing people taking marriage for granted. don't put your self through something that you are going to regret in the long run. and if he has the money that you say he has then you do not want to get into a divorce battle with him. hopefully there aren't any children. talk to him!!!!!