Anyone want to help me? thanks?

Question

I have a friend who is 14, and she doesn't eat that much. Today, for example. its 11:15 our time, and i talked to her about an hour ago and said i just ate breakfast and she said she's not eating and i said no one's fixed anything and she said "probably, i don't know" and i said "you're just not gonna eat" and she said no. here lately she said she hasn't ate that much. she hasn't even eaten today. is it just something she is dealing with? when i talk to her about it, she doesn't really open up about it and "dismisses" the subject. but is it just something she's doing, not for a particular reason? or should i try talking to her again? i just wanna help her if there's anything TO help and if not then it's all good

maybe she DOES eat all the time during the day but just this morning or lately she doesn't eat as much. i don't want to read too much into it for nothing. she isn't depressed or anything, i mean she's fine and all i mean i dunno lol

Well, I'm 18 lol, so I'm like an adult by myself

BUT WAIT I'm not saying she has anorexia. i'm saying is there a reason she doesnt like to eat that much even though she's 14? maybe she's at an awkard age right now? and she just doesn't like to eat? she's very nice and she laughs and stuff she's not depressed at all

Answer 1

Don't worry so much about your friend now. She's at an age where she needs to find herself. That's why sometimes it's hard to understand early teens. But by the time she goes to senior high school all that will change. If she still not eating much and look awkwardly thin, then you should talk to her parents about her conditions. I have been around many nieces and nephew, I hardly see them eat. But they are beginning to pick up on it when they are in higher grade schools and going to colleges as well. Do not worry about your friend, let her parents do the worrying. Good enough, no?

Answer 2

Honestly, and this sucks becus it goes against the "code" of being a good friend - but you probably need to tell a responsible adult.

More than likely she's just down in the dumps. Fourteen is a fickle age and just becus someone doesn't feel like eating doesn't mean they are anorexic (what it sounds like if anything. She doesn't eat a ton all at once i take it?)
Sometimes I feel down and out (my grandfather died recently) and I didn't feel like eating for a couple of weeks. I'd just snack here or there. Nothing big.

HOWEVER, and this is a big however - the biggest thing is if she starts acting "normal" again. She doesn't seem down, or sad but rather normal, almost giddy and still continues to eat little or nothing. Most anorexics will develop some sort of euphoria because being able to control themselves and specifically their eating causes endorphins to build and release. It's a high for them.
SO keep an eye out for that. It's not a definite sign but one none-the-less.

But like I said up above - if you have the gut feeling (i'm a psych grad student at UNL) follow the GUT feeling. I will tell you 9 times out of 10 if you feel something is wrong with your friend, then something probably IS wrong.

Alert an adult though. YOu can be secretive even, so she doesn't know it's you who alerted the adult!

Praise be to you for being so caring towards your friend. She is lucky!
Best wishes

Answer 3

Anorexia is a huge problem. If she is starting down that road, the best thing you can do as a friend is talk to her mom. I know that friends don't "Rat" on each other, but true friends also don't allow their friends to have behaviours that can be deadly. Don't keep this to yourself. Talking to the guidance counselor at school may help too. She may feel it is more 'safe' to talk to the counselor at school. I remember when I was 14 I ate like a horse 24/7. She may be mad at you now, but the important thing is that you didn't allow this to get to the point of serious life threatening illness. Many singers and actresses have died from Anorexia Nervosa. Go online and do some research that way you have educated yourself on the disorder and why it is so serious. It doesn't have anything to do with food. It has to do with a persons internal messages about how they see themselves. Don't give up till she gets help. GL

Answer 4

First of all, you are a good friend for being concerned. It may feel to you like you're "dropping a dime" on her by discussing her possible problem with others. But if you care about her, you need to help her. There may indeed be no problem at all; the only thing is, not eating can be a very serious problem indeed, and it can have a number of explanations. It's not possible to say what her problem may be based on a few words; she needs to talk with someone qualified to help her. I'm hoping there is someone that she trusts; parents, doctor, a teacher, counselor, whatever. If she talks to one of these and that person just blows it off, then she needs to talk to someone else. Regardless of where she starts, she needs eventually to talk with a doctor. If your friend is in denial, you may have to get advice from someone as to what to do for her. And get that advice from someone you can talk to in person, not just from this place here! One other thing - even if your friend commits to you to eat, and you see her do it - remember that she may be purging when she's alone. Hate to be gross, but this is too important to let drop. Good luck and best wishes to your friend and to you!

Answer 5

Yes, this situation sounds like an eating disorder. I was starved myself for a few years and I'm 5'7 and got down to 98 pounds. And it took years for me to gain weight. I'm 51 and I was doing it before they had a name for it. It is all about control. If your life is out of control and you feel that others have "Your," control and in your mind that only thing that you have control over is what is going into your mouth. This is a horrible viscous cycle to be in. I never had to be admitted to the hospital, Thank God for that, I took vitamins and had a 1000 calorie diet for each day and exercised before I went to school and when I came home. She sounds depressed, if you want to help your friend, talk to her about what is going on in her head. And maybe then suggest that she gets counseling of some sort. And it's hard to talk to someone who hasn't been in their shoes. So, please encourage her to at least talk to you about what is going on. Thanks for being a good friend to her.

Answer 6

She might have a eating disorder, so you need to get her help because it can be very serious. Even if she doesn't want you to help, a good friend would because it can cost her her life.

Answer 7

Try talking to her again. If she will not open up to you, you should discuss your concerns with her parent/guardian or a school counselor. She may need help and while she may resent your "butting in" it's better than her getting sick.

Answer 8

i think you should talk to her again. maybe she thinks she is over weight. my sis just forgets to eat but it dose'nt sound like that to me