I'm a rather rigid guy who never touches friends except to shake their hands to congratulate them. I never wrap my arm around their shoulder or try to wrestle with them, you know, in a friend sort of way. I would love to do that with some of my male friends because I think they think I'm boring and robot-like, but I'm afraid of trying the above due to the fear of them thinking I'm trying to hit on them. I notice gal pals are very comfortable holding hands and stuff, but as for guy pals... I have no clue whatsoever :(
2006-11-26 03:12:57 · 5 answers · asked by xander 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I don't necessarily think "gay" is the first thing they are necessarily going to think. See, you can't just suddenly change into a wrestling, physical contact kind of a guy. If you had always done these things (the wrestling, arm wrap around the shoulder, etc. . .) then it would not seem strange. If they see Ralph the rigid robot coming at them looking to make physical contact that is not normal for you to normally do, they are going to think you've lost your mind!! If a girl that never had been very physical suddenly started giving hugs, etc . . . other girls would think something must be wrong and she had lost her mind.
Be yourself. If you are uncomfortable doing something, what ever it may be, then it isn't your personality-type. Go with what feels comfortable for you. Stop being so hard on yourself. If you want to be closer friends with the guys that you hang out with, I wouldn't go with anything physical. You would feel to awkward. Instead, go with trying to get into what is going on with them, such as remembering to ask about something personal happening in a friends life. You know, simple stuff, like how'd your date with "Lou anne" go? Or, "Here, have a cough drop, sounds like you might could use one." (only works when friend has a cough or cold), or, "Is your cousin feeling any better since the 'incident' that occurred at the monthly family luau from doing the limbo when the limbo stick was being held by 2 rollerskating pigeons and things didn't go as he had planned 'cause he never gives up!!" or "Happy Birthday" You know, remarks that let your friends know that you are listening, paying attention to what they are saying, and actually remembering what they told you. Even if what they told you is small. Get close to them in a non-physical way. The afore mentioned way (physical) will not work for you because it does not come natural. If your friends are not used to physical contact from you, don't start now. It will freak them out. Not necessarily in the "Oh no! He's gay!" way, just generally.
have fun, don't worry so much about it.
2006-11-26 04:53:20 · answer #1 · answered by raven dismukes 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay dokey sadboy: I have seen two guy friends who have wonderful relationships with their girlfriends go at it wrestling like you wouldn't believe. I mean these two frolic and are all over eachother on the grass wrestling during warm days at school and I just crack up for the longest time watching them. They also have no qualms about getting into very akward looking positions, and they always have a good laugh about it, If your friends are that uptight I would find some new people to laugh and have a good time with. Be looser, act less mr roboto if that is how you normally act. If a guy is mature he won't think your hitting on him, I mean I arm wrestle with guys who have girlfriends and it's no big deal. FYI girls are just good at the bonding thing, we aren't as freaked out by it (?) I suppose....=)
2006-11-26 11:19:19 · answer #2 · answered by infusionismusic 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some guys do the shoulder thing. and I know for a fact that they are not gay! You can do that or just touch them on the shoulder. now if the guys that you are talking about are not into the shoulder thing, then just stick to the hand shake. just try and relax yourself more, and be yourself! Have fun!
2006-11-26 11:20:57 · answer #3 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it depends on how you touch them to wrestle if your like grabbing their waist area or pulling them towards you they might think youre gay because youre touching them in such a way, but if they reject you because youre gay, (or at least they think you are) then there not really friends at all.
p.s hope I helped!
Tara
2006-11-26 11:20:34 · answer #4 · answered by scott_pinky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on how you touch them. But I believe just wrestling or play fighting is ok.
2006-11-26 11:16:15 · answer #5 · answered by andyramvzb 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋