Hi i was engaged to my middleschool - college sweet heart and 3 days before the wedding on my birthday he called me to tell me he was calling of the wedding. His reason was that he felt i was just too driven for him and he felt we had grown appart and where two very different people.I worked my butt off for him and us working to buy an apartment in NYC. It took me a few months to find a public relations job after i graduated but i did it.He only last month got a job so i supported him a year and a half financially.I was totally supportive of him and tried very hard to be their for him . I feel a mess i dont get it?
2006-11-26 02:53:24 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I waited on him hand and foot and yes we had some fights but never anything so severe.
2006-11-26 03:11:44 · update #1
Sounds to me like he has already realized what you didn't: you would be very unhappy in this relationship. You have already lost a lot of respect for this guy. I can see that in what you wrote, even if it's only a subconscious thing for you right now. Be grateful to him, that he chose not to be the anchor around your neck and doom both of you to years of misery. -yk
2006-11-26 03:02:09 · answer #1 · answered by Yaakov 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didn't do anything wrong on your part, when a women is dumped they always try to seek to understand what went wrond, what they did when really it's the guy. which in your case it is. It seems to sound like he had it made with a free ride of going through school while you worked your butt off. If anything he owes you, I"m doing the same thing for my husband right now and it really is hard working two jobs, paying the bills, doing the laundry, making dinner, ect. I can only imagine if after all of this he said sorry but I want a divorce. You must move on even though it will be hard because a piece of you will always be with him. But you seem very smart and I think you'll be fine, don't take him back unless he is on his knees, you don't deserve that! Plus your in NY you'll meet someone who will treat you like you need to be treated. Good Luck!
2006-11-26 03:04:05 · answer #2 · answered by A.K.A NK 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It doesn't make sense. But it sounds like he was threatened by you. Here you are getting a good job, supporting him and what did he bring to the table, nothing. It seems that he was just using you and no one deserves that. You need to find someone that has the same goals as you, someone who is driven like you. It was probably a good thing he broke it off before the wedding instead of after. Good luck to you. I hope that you can move on and see that you deserve better.
2006-11-26 03:03:47 · answer #3 · answered by hey culligan man 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As hard as it is to loose him you have to listen to what he is saying. He sees you as a person who is going places...doing things...and a hard charger. And It sounds like you are.
He on the other hand is a long way from that. He sounds more laid back....maybe less capable....but happy with what and who he is.
I have no doubt that he looked into the future and say you very unhappy with him because he couldn't keep up. So he called it off.
Unless he has another woman I would think he is hurting over this as much as you. If there is another woman....and there is that chance....once he could compare the way she is with the way you are it scared him to death. He was about to marry someone that isn't even close to what he is like.
As with all questions on here we don't have the benefit of seeing what all goes on behind them. So most of what I say is guessing.
Does it sound close? If so I think you know he did the right thing.
It is far better to hurt now than after kids and a life together.
Trust me I know.
2006-11-26 03:03:04 · answer #4 · answered by John B 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well look at it this way, he did you a favor, It is better to know now then later. Sometimes in life we learn a hard lesson. but learn from it. You will get over him, in time. But life does go on, and you will be okay, just stay strong, and keep striving for all of the things that you want, too bad he could not be at the top with you! Hold up you head, yes, it is hard for you right now. stop trying to figure out why, this happened. because it happened, and you have to except it. You are going to make it, so keep on smiling, get out and have a freedom celebration, even if it is all by yourself, you know what it is about! I am pulling for you!
2006-11-26 03:12:55 · answer #5 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think he liked you and everything but you suporting him while he stayed home? if he never had gotten a job you would still be suporing him andd he would of never went any where else lol dont hate that he left you just hate that he didnt leave sooner. you will find many guys that are looking for a good dependant woman. and not a guy thats going t otake advantage of you either. i know break ups are hard and your hurting and mad at the same time you feel like you should be hating him when you still love him but dont worry all these emotions will pass and when they do lol you will feel so much better and seee he wasnt the guy for you. but who knows the next one might be.
2006-11-26 03:05:58 · answer #6 · answered by cute redhead 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like this was a long term relationship that unfortunately ran its course. It sounds as if your fiance wanted to date others and wasn't ready to get married. Perhaps he felt that your values were different and felt overwhelmed by your drive and ambition. It sounds as if he was in your "shadow" for the last few years of the relationship and possibly felt smothered. Perhaps he felt micro-managed by you supporting him, and orchestrating everything for him including the upcoming wedding. It sounds as if he sensed that the two of your were headed in different directions and wanted to end this before it became even more binding (i.e., the wedding). You might want to consider going to a professional counselor to help you work through your grief/loss issues. Good Luck!
2006-11-26 03:00:42 · answer #7 · answered by cheyennetomahawk 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
hi, I particularly have had a Boxer because of the fact that i replaced into 2 years previous. I additionally had six siblings. you would be unable to discover a greater shielding or loving canine. i might hate on your daughter to no longer have her great pup. they're domestic canines until the day they die. i don't be responsive to the place you reside, yet we've many canine parks. I particularly have 2 Boxers now and the canine park can particularly positioned on them out, and that i've got by no potential had difficulty with different canines or them wandering off, they nonetheless have potential. yet become sleepy swifter with solid play time. provide your Boxer greater time, they are going to love you perpetually!!!! Lyn
2016-12-13 14:30:50 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Doesn't sound like it. He says your to driven but it sounds to me like he's saying I'm sorry I can't provide for you. A lot of men still feel deep inside that they need to be able to provide for their family. My wife and I each make the same amount of money but when their is things she wants that we can't afford I feel like it's my fault.
Stay strong it sounds like he gave up on a wonderful person.
2006-11-26 02:59:54 · answer #9 · answered by Big D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sweety .. cry a river build a bridge and get over it hes a worthless peice of s'''! sounds like he used you to get where he is today , hold your head up high and pat yourself on the back for the goals that you have acheived . plenty fish in the sea, just be picky with the next one
2006-11-26 02:59:20 · answer #10 · answered by sissy 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋