she is 13 years old. The teacher says other girls were trying to fight her in the hallway. They asked that I keep her home the next day for protection sake. She missed out on her education because the school's afraid she's going to get beat up. My daughter says the girls are jeolous because of her 'gear' (nice clothing) and that the black boys like her and not them (they are black girls). I say she is telling the truth. I have talked and talked with her. My boyfriend says it's her fault and that she is wrong because he says she is trying to fit in with the black culture.
2006-11-26 01:39:22 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
You are who you are. some people have to deal with racism. tell your bf to go suck an egg. your daughter could easily conform to the "white" society, and be done with harassment, but she's just being who she is. don't knock her down for it.
2006-11-26 01:43:08 · answer #1 · answered by apple 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
She's 13. Not much is her fault in this situation.
Sometimes keeping your mouth shut, and trying to blend in instead of fit in, is safer. Especially when you've already been singled out by a group of bullies.
I was bullied by the entire school, i know what iam talking about. You have no idea what its like to spend every lunch period at a table alone, while the rest of the school throws food and paper at you.
Middle school isr rough.
She sounds like she's been allowed to grow up too quick. Why does she need hot 'gear' and the adoration of the boys? ITs school, not a social club.
I'd say you need to change her focus. If this is how she is at 13, how incredibly shallow and pointless will her life be at 23? Buying, being the best, having the best, and doing the best guys... you dont want that life for her.
Knock her down a notch, put her in a safer school, and let her be 13, not 23. She doesnt need to live her life with brands and approval, she needs an education and to finish being a kid.
2006-11-26 01:48:55 · answer #2 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
OK, I see no reason why it would be her fault at all. Black culture or not. The school system is just a little screwed, and have their priorities messed up. It is not her fault at all. I went through the same thing, but not because of anything racial. If I were you, I would not allow them to transfer her. Put up a HUGE fight. Your daughter isn't causing the problems, the other girls are, no matter what their reason is. Those girls should be transferred, not your daughter. That is were the school system is messed up. They change the lives of the students who are causing no problems, and leave the students who are causing them, alone. Don't let them. Go to the school board, put up a big fight. They aren't taking care of the real problem, they are just getting rid of one person who others have a problem with. They shouldn't punish her for others actions.
2006-11-26 01:47:10 · answer #3 · answered by Jenny 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing that anyone can do about this situation. The teachers are going to keep her at home as long as they feel that she is in danger.
Tell your boyfriend to take a hike. He sounds clueless. Your daughter dresses the way that she does because she's coming into her own, and establishing her identity as a soon-to-be adult.
Might I suggest that she change her clothing to something a bit more normal for a while? Until she has a chance to make friends at her new school, she doesn't need any unwanted attention. Clothing is DEFINITELY a source of unwanted attention.
She may get mad at you for it, but explain to her that as soon as she's made friends with some of these girls who are giving her a hard time, she needs to try to conform to the stereotypical "white girl". It will keep her safe. Remind her that it is only temporary, and that as soon as her "intrusion as the new girl"-syndrome wears off, she can wear whatever she wants.
It's not her fault, though. These kids are CRUEL, these days, but it's only a matter of time, and your daughter will become old news to them.
2006-11-26 01:59:25 · answer #4 · answered by <3 The Pest <3 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You know really what difference does it make who is at fault. Your daughter needs to feel safe at school. I think transferring her is a good idea however if in a couple months you have the same problem at the new school then Id be talking to my daughter if I were you.
2006-11-26 01:57:29 · answer #5 · answered by elaeblue 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its not her fault, Your boyfriend is wrong. If hes referrering to Hip Hop than its not just a black "culture" How many white people do you see wearing Rocafella, tons.
Teenage girls are jealous period. Weather it comes to clothes boys, shoes, cell phones. I once had someone try to jump me for my Ipod. I would find a way for her to defend herself. Weather it be boxing or Karate, because if they (meaning the other girls) know she can defend herself than they wont pick on her.
My younger sister was getting picked on because she was new to her school, she got in a fight one day totally kicked the sh*t out of this one girl. Now they dont mess with her.
2006-11-26 05:54:18 · answer #6 · answered by .:AMIZZLE:. 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well, i'd say it's not really her fault. but is she goin' around talkin' how them other girls is jealous and why they are. well, personally she should really keep her mouth shut. making those accusations w/out proof or talkin' to one of the girls "fixin' to beat her up" ain't helpin' the situation. you need to talk to your daughter really. she need to stop talkin' bout them boys and her "gear" so much that she almost get beat down for it. she need to pay attention to her schoolwork and the main reason she stuck in the school. i think your boyfriend isn't wrong, but didnt' say it in the most beneficial way either. you should talk to her some more on wat her focus should be on and about keeping opinions like that from circulating like they have.
2006-11-26 07:00:44 · answer #7 · answered by littleyoungsupernova 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm positive there is more to this story than perhaps your daughter is telling you. That being said, I think the decision to move her to another school is in her best interests, although it may not necessarily be fair. I would encourage her to simply be herself at her new school. It's a fresh start for her and she should take advantage of it.
2006-11-26 01:47:52 · answer #8 · answered by Taffi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With how plenty society has replaced, now a days its user-friendly to work out women as youthful as 8 being decked out in make up. those comparable women additionally are unsuitable for being older than what they are easily and positioned into circumstances they are no longer yet waiting to handle. whilst i became youthful (i'm 25 now) I had to attend till i became 13 to positioned on makeup(I had to earn the astonishing to positioned on it). I purely experience 11 continues to be too youthful. in case you do ok your daughter to positioned on makeup, i might shop on with sparkling lipgloss and doubtless some mild(purely approximately dermis toned) eye shadow. That way she would have the capacity to positioned on it, yet it somewhat heavily isn't too substantial. good success!
2016-10-17 13:47:35 · answer #9 · answered by quinteros 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not agree with your boyfriend. No child should have to go to school and be scared or get beat up daily...The school is and was responsible for her safety. I would have had a serious chat with the principal and school board if necessary to insure her safety.
2006-11-26 01:43:13 · answer #10 · answered by **KELLEY** 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Black culture"
what happened to integration and tolerence?
I have seen your other questions. Your boyfriend does not seem to respect you or your child. Do you, or more importantly , does your child need a man like that in her life? I think you should seriously reconsider your relationship.
Transfer schools, preferrably to one where people are a bit more accepting
2006-11-26 02:36:41 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋