First let me say that I have many friends who are homosexuals and I have discussed this with them as well. I am simply curious as to how this comes about. How do you decide which one of you will be the "pants wearer" and which one will be the "skirt Wearer"? Do you simply take turns with it? Do you assume the same role in each relationship you have? Or does it change as you mature and grow in the relationship?
2006-11-26 01:00:51 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I intended no disrespect, I simply wondered if everyone had the same type of answers or not. I was getting around to the fact that you are the same as non-homosexuals in that certain roles are assumed or played by each individual in the relationship. My friends were not embarrased or put off by the discussion as they knew I was simply asking to resolve questions I had. I have one really good friend who asks me for advice on how to deal with his "Wife" when they have problems. I did not realize up until that point that either person in a homosexual relationship might see themselves as more or less feminie than the other. I find that interesting.
2006-11-26 01:14:09 · update #1
Usually there aren't any such "gender specific" roles within same sex relationships. I believe that is one of the largest issues heteros have in dealing with same-sex relationships, they still mentally see the "woman" cooking dinner while the "man" works on the car or cuts the lawn. We do what we enjoy doing, those tasks that neither enjoy are usually a matter of taking turns so that no person has the onerous burden put on them but the task still gets done.
2006-11-26 01:11:42 · answer #1 · answered by IndyT- For Da Ben Dan 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋
While some gay couple define roles like you suggest, most I know do not. However since I define my primary lifestyle as D/s or Domination and submission, our roles are less about the male and female and more about natural dominance and submission.
Every relationship, whether gay or straight has a natural balance of dominance and submission, even though it may not be identified as such. However to infer that dominance is male and submission is female over simplifies a very complex nature.
Actually you would serve yourself better if you simply recognized that GLBT relationships are no different than heterosexual ones, people take on roles that they are strong in or that is nurtured and encouraged by the other partner. Otherwise you are inferring that every heterosexual couple out there has clearly defined roles of male and female and you have just set us back 40 years.
2006-11-26 09:43:36 · answer #2 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
There is no one way of who is the dominant and who is the passive. It varies with each individual. Some are exclusive to one role (top or bottom is common term in USA) but most are versatile, meaning they take turns, or balance it out.
There is no rule book saying it must be 50/50, or that score must be kept...it depends on the people involved and the mood at the moment.
2006-11-26 09:14:48 · answer #3 · answered by Ax Me Anything 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
It isn't really something to decide...
My fiancee and I are both really girly. We both wear skirts and high heels and makeup, and have long hair. In the grand scheme of things I'm probably a little girlier than she is, but not by much.
She cooks. I do the dishes. That's more because I'm a terrible cook than because I'm the "man" in the relationship. I kill bugs. We both fix the toilet, and do other household repairs.
In the bedroom, we've done it both ways, but we both decided that it's more fun when I'm the one wearing, um, the pants.
I don't know if that helped you at all...
2006-11-26 13:37:52 · answer #4 · answered by lillielil 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i think in relationships there is a dominant personality and a submissive personality. there is also the lazy personality and the inspired one. we all have masculine and feminine sides, maybe its what is brought out best in us that is put into a relationship. why didn't you just say it like you meant it which is "the man" and which is "the woman"? i think its all personality. there are NO "decisions"per se. and as soon as everyone can come to terms with their OWN homosexual fears and tendencies there will be less answers like "sick" given
2006-11-26 09:06:23 · answer #5 · answered by vilynblackthorne 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Ron and several others have given great ans. and I can only add that in some cases time does change the person(s). It did me.
My closet is no longer filled with just jeans, tees, and sweats.
Love the Conservative look - blouses, pant suits, etc.
A person will wear what is confortable for them and suits their style.
2006-11-26 09:45:48 · answer #6 · answered by dragon 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
every relationship has a Dom and a sub not so much who wears a skirt or pants. I've seen str8 relationships where the woman was the Dom. and the man followed everything she said. so i guess the answer is we are all who we are
2006-11-26 09:28:40 · answer #7 · answered by Ron N 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
well sweetie niether one has to be that but you prob already know that you seem like a smart person..so if one is more into being in control then they will be the pants wearer if not then there the fem..but like i said u already know that much
2006-11-26 10:56:07 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I believe that you are actually asking who is the top and who is the bottom.
Some people are simply tops, some (more I think) are bottoms, some are versitile.
That's why you are getting different answers, there is no one answer.
Regards,
Reynolds
believeinyou24@yahoo.com
2006-11-26 09:27:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
you cannot just assume anything. I tell you for what I know, if I let you eat me I got to eat you. But to give you a little school. There are what we call tops and bottoms. And there also are versatiles it just depend on what mood you feel if you are a versatile but Tops always wear pants and then bottoms always wear skirts.
2006-11-26 09:27:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋