I am single and do not have a relationship and my 13 year old son is spending the whole weekend hunting for duck,dove and deer hunting with his dad.I am glad they are spending quaility time together but I feel left out.What can my son and I do without spending a lot of money .He also likes to spend time with his friends.I really don't have any close girlfriends near by to do things with and am not dating right now.What can we do together except for going to the movies and shopping.
2006-11-26 00:46:02 · 9 answers · asked by eagle 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Awww. Thirteen. I am closest to my father, NOW, but it wasn't that way when I was a teenager. Hell, I didn't want to be around EITHER of my parents. My friends were more important to me.
Your son is going through puberty, though, and probably feels that he can relate more to his father than you. It IS normal, as disheartening as it is. I know it feels like you're an outsider in his life, and truthfully, at this stage of your son's development, YOU ARE. Rest assured, though, it won't last. Pretty soon, he's not going to want to spend time with either of you.
Unfortunately, the teenage years are "God's way of breaking the apron strings". Your son is going to be more independent from now until the day he becomes a legal adult. The best thing that YOU can do, though, is LET him have that independence. As long as he doesn't feel like he's OBLIGATED to spend quality time with you, he'll feel more willing to do so. On a day that you know that he doesn't have plans with friends, take him out to eat to discuss his life... Let HIM talk. Don't chastise him on anything that he says, just talk like you are friends. That will make him more willing to talk to you in the future.
I know that this transition period is hard, but it IS normal. Try dating someone, or hanging out with YOUR girlfriends more. If your friends have teenagers, they can give you some helpful advice, and you can swap stories of your kids over lunch, dinner, or a shopping excursion.
Good luck. :)
PS. I just realized that you said that you don't have any close girlfriends... Perhaps getting yourself involved with a church, neighborhood group, or community group will give you the opportunity to meet new friends and new people... You may even meet a wonderful man. :)
2006-11-26 00:59:42 · answer #1 · answered by <3 The Pest <3 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a lucky young man your son is. So often children of one parent families don't have a good relationship with the absent parent, either because Dad has lost interest or got another family or because Mum resents dad turning up only to do the fun stuff and discourages it. Clearly you've avoided those problems, well done.
It's normal for a kid your son's age to want to spend time away from you asserting his independence and its great that your respect that and don't resent it. Have you spoken to your son about what he might enjoy doing with you? He might be quite happy with the movies and shopping being his "mom" things.
Maybe it's time to start thinking about yourself a bit more. Enjoy the extra independence you have now you son is a bit older. In an alarmingly short time he'll be leaving home. Now you have the opportunity to start preparing. The world will be your oyster once more, you need to be ready. World travel, new career a chance to learn new skills? What will it bring. Now's the time to start planning.
Your son is obviously confident enough that you will be there for him whatever so he can afford to neglect you a bit now. But he'll be back soon enough so enjoy the space you have now.
2006-11-26 03:30:51 · answer #2 · answered by gerrifriend 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really don't think that there is any thing wrong with the child sleeping in bed with his parents at this age, my son who is also 7 sometimes does the same despite having his own room, I'd agree though that it was a bit much to expect you to sleep in the same bed as him being new to the situation. However if you try to lay down the law with this guy you would be overstepping the mark. Have a chat with him and explain that YOU are not comfortable sharing the bed with his son and that maybe you should not stay over for the night when he is there. Eventually the son will outgrow this behaviour and his Father will need to move into bigger accomodation to enable this.
2016-05-23 03:58:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My 13 year old son and I learned to play chess. He asks me to play a lot. The other game he loves is Risk. (NOt the special editions, just the first, original game.) It's a complicated game and the special editions are even worse. But it is strategy and we love it!!
May I suggest you try a free dating site? I had 3 kids at home, ran a business, and everything else going on. I did not want to go out on a weekend night, drink, and try to figure out which drunk guy was "the One." I chatted with one man in particular for a year. Then I met him. We dated for three. He's lived with me for over a year. It is a good, strong relationship. People are surprised to hear we met online. I must have discarded about a million duds. He's the one that always was respectful, supportive, and there. Just chat. Toss the flack and keep your eyes open for the one sincere guy.
2006-11-26 01:21:42 · answer #4 · answered by Sunbaby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What about fishing and a picnic on the bank of a river. I wouldn't try to do that to often though at his age he may see it as you are trying to keep him from his friends. Another neat idea would be ask him if he wanted to go and that he could invite a friend that may work even better.But whatever you decide please this is a delicate time for him his hormones are raging and he probably feels like a war is going on inside him and in his head,Keep the lines of communication open by being there for him, but do not be overbearing. GOOD LUCK! and BEST WISHES for YOU and YOUR SON.
2006-11-26 01:10:30 · answer #5 · answered by nursie poo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is an age where boys need male-bonding. He has not lost his love for you, he is just becoming more independent. To keep your relationship close, try to refrain from pushing yourself on him or trying to keep him all to yourself. I am a single mother of two boys and I know how it hurts to know he don't depend on you as he once did.
Sounds like you may need to find other things outside of his existence also. But if you still want the quality time with him ask him what he would like to do and let him invite a friend along. This will allow you time with him and to get to know what his friends are like.
I am serious about you finding a life outside of him. He knows you love him, but I am sure he wants you to be happy too!
2006-11-26 01:42:10 · answer #6 · answered by stacey h 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i get thfeeling that you are divorced so camping with him wouldn't really work. i always liked when my mom took me on 1-2 hr drives and we could just talk about whatever.
i guess try to take an interest in what your son is interested in as long as you agree with it.
2006-11-26 04:46:26 · answer #7 · answered by program dude 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
bowling, ice skating, you can take him to see a match , these are things i do with my son we dont do them often as they are expensive but when we do its special and it shows in his face
2006-11-26 00:52:54 · answer #8 · answered by 0000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
skating & bowling are fun
2006-11-26 01:47:02 · answer #9 · answered by Nour 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋