My ex-fiancee moved to America after we decided not to get married. I fell in love with someone else and she called me yesterday and said that she is pregnant with my child. I cannot move to America to be with her and she cannot come back here to India. What should we do?
2006-11-25 21:07:50 · 12 answers · asked by Arun 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
We had kind of a messy breakup. I still love her, but when you're this far apart, it's kind of hard to raise a child together. I don't know how to tell my new girlfriend about this pregnancy. I don't think my ex-fiancee would consider an abortion, so we are going to have to figure out how to raise this child. I don't even know where to start though. I don't want her to give the baby up for adoption. I'm just at an utter loss of what to do. I'm so confused. She says she's six months along. She left India around four months ago... we ended our engagement about a month before she left, so I know the child HAS to be mine.
2006-11-25 21:31:13 · update #1
Remember, it is your child too. You were engaged, so I am sure you still love each other, right? See if you can work things out, if not, please please please, take full responsibility and take care of the child. He/she is your blood. Be a good daddy. If you can't be with the child, just try to see him/her as often as possible. Support the mommy, she is going through a difficult time. Every child needs his/her father.
2006-11-25 21:21:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
While this is a difficult situation for everyone involved, the child should be the main focus for you both.
First of all, abortion is not an option at this point. According to you, she is 6 months pregnant. That would be 20-24 weeks. She is far beyond the point in time that any clinic would consider performing the procedure. Also, you stated that you do not consider adoption an option. Although, I disagree with your choice - adoption is a beautiful thing and in almost every case the best choice for the child. So you must consider the only option you have left available...
Financially and emotionally support your baby's mother and your baby. This will be incredibly difficult from such a long distance, but it is crucial to the well-being of the mother and the child as it grows. It is not mostly about the money, it is more about the emotional and mental well-being of the family. You MUST be there for her along the way; before AND after the birth.
This doesn't sound like the most ideal situation, but two parents that are willing to make it work... WILL.
Good luck to all of you!
2006-11-26 01:24:43 · answer #2 · answered by Indiana Mom Of 3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW you work fast. I mean how far along is she anyway? And you already fell in love with someone else. Is this why you broke up and she moved? If you want to be with her in America then do what you need to so you can. If you don't want to then let her know you will always be apart of the child's life and you will be glad to help support the child. If you arrange to see the child what a great thing for them. Son/Daughter can learn two languages and the culture of two counties! I thinks it will be a great experience.
2006-11-25 21:29:05 · answer #3 · answered by Countrygirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She can either have the child and raise it and you will have to give her money and visit them etc, and perhaps you'll realize you are a family and get married, or she can have the child and give it for adoption. It is a great sin to kill it! Not just from a religious point of view, it is just so cruel!
2006-11-25 21:17:16 · answer #4 · answered by cpinatsi 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
decide what to do with the unborn child or the two of you? u didnt give us enough details regarding the two of you. are you still looking forward to be together now that there is a baby involve? with regards to the baby, of course you have to support the mother, financially and emotionally. she needs your support being the father of the baby. if you dont want to be together anymore, then arrange to send her money for the baby.
2006-11-25 21:24:41 · answer #5 · answered by mela 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Arrange for you to support the child financially and for her to keep you updated on your child's life with photos and letters.
Or, if she doesn't want to care for the child, arrange for it to come to India when it's old enough that it doesn't need breast feeding and then take care of it yourself.
Not too many options here. Oceans are big obstacles.
2006-11-25 21:15:18 · answer #6 · answered by Answer 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Abort the child or give her money so she will have the money to take care of the child.....It's still the same if u go back to America...You will still be responsible for the child...give him education,food nad etc...All of these needs money...But the child will not get his father's love
2006-11-25 21:12:18 · answer #7 · answered by AndyPandy 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Your theory that folk don't get pregnant from rape is ludicrous. It happens each and all the time. a minimum of she carried the toddler to term and positioned it in a loving homestead, the place it may desire to be dealt with. i do no longer approve of abortion myself, inspite of the undeniable fact that it style of sounds like it wasn't purely her theory to abort your newborn. possibly she did no longer experience like the two one in all you could desire to enhance a toddler, and did no longer think of you will possibly enable her to place it up for adoption. Forcing her to abort a toddler is between the main egocentric, hurtful issues you could desire to do. Why are you able to no longer improve the youngster at the same time? in case you could sleep together with her, there ought to be some earnings on your dating. i will purely approximately assure which you will no longer have the flexibility to easily take the youngster from her, without proving her an no longer worth discern. maximum in all probability the final you will possibly get is shared custody, which, i will permit you recognize from own adventure, sucks. For the youngster. What you could desire to do is think approximately the final pastime of the youngster. no longer you, no longer her, no longer each and each guy or woman else. are you able to easily improve a newborn singlehandedly? it is so plenty extra stable than you could think of. the sole different element i could desire to propose is to seek for advice from a attorney, in case you surely can not be in a dating inclusive of your ex. talk together with her, averting her like the plague can no longer help. you're surely fortunate that she's inviting you to her appointments, she sounds like she's inviting you to be a element of the youngster's existence. recover from your anger and attempt to be mature and in charge.
2016-10-17 13:42:44 · answer #8 · answered by saleh 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
so are you 100% sure that your the father? well if you can't do anything to follow her, then explain to her. If she is willing to continue bearing your baby, then let her.Talk to your new girl explain to her the present situation, if she will allow you to follow your fiance so be it. But if she resist then you have to respect her decision and feelings too. She is your present QUEEN, so give more weight to her answer. YOUR REALLY THAT HANDSOME HUH
2006-11-25 21:19:56 · answer #9 · answered by d pogi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Offer this child for adoption so that he or she will have a better life.
Many couples could not conceive and they are willing to adopt one
2006-11-25 21:23:08 · answer #10 · answered by yin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋