Gay guys: What are some ways for a gay guy to be more confident in himself when dealing with other gay guys that he likes (though out of his league....) or just people in general? I have an issue with being more confidence and I really want to change this and be more assertive and not shy introverted all the time, but I almost feel it is my own personality and it can not change. What do you think? Please, I need help! I'm 27 and feel at this rate, I'll be too old to find that special guy!!!
2006-11-25 21:02:07 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I suggest you go to church. You might find a special someone that can really help turn your life around.
2006-11-25 21:07:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Confidence is that which you build; there is no magic pill to take to instantly gain it. Nor can anyone say for sure what will help you.
However there are some things that do work in a general sense.
1. Be healthy - eat right, get enough sleep, enjoy lots of fresh air and sunshine ...
2. Be fit - not a muscle man per say, just nicely toned so you are comfortable in yrou body and don;t mind people seeing it. So, join the Y or a gym and exercise plus take up swimming, walking, hiking, etc to keep in shape.
3. Mix, mingle and socialize. Start out by finding a group or club in town that is actively into a hobby or interest of yours. Join up and allow yourself to get to know the others and then participate. And then find another group and another until you are out there 2 or 3 nights a week just doign things you like to do in the company of others who like it too. You can find these groups through churches, the Y, and even classes at a local adult education centre.
4. When you are feeling tongue tied and don't know how to start a conversation, there are many neutral topics you can use to get the first words out. The weather is th emost popular but a sport or a local event or the outlandish necktie someone is wearing just about anything are good to break the ice.
5. Above all, do not try to be anyone other than yoruself. Sure work toward becoming less introverted but do not try to be mr popular or the big cheese - be happy with who you are and just polish yoru rough edges.
So, go forth and meet people and have fun. Before you know it you won;t have a confidence issue.
2006-11-28 02:32:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hope's suggestion is fabulous! There are some great Gay Churches where you can meet like-minded Gay Christians whom you'll feel very comfortable amongst to help turn your shyness around! Thanks, Hope!
In addition, confidence is gained by "forgetting about the self". Simply don't focus on yourself, for that will make you "self-conscious" and consequently develop nervousness and a lack of self-esteem. Instead, focus on the topic at hand (not on what you "should" say, let things flow naturally); focus on the other individuals; focus on that which is outside yourself.
Be cognitive to make eye contact in conversation (don't be looking away or into the sky). Eye contact communicates to the other individual that you are genuinely concerned about them; that you acknowledge their "beingness"; that they are purposeful and important as a human being. "The eyes are the windows to the soul." This will help generate trust in you, and they will feel that you are a sincere human being worthy to get to know better and to develop a mutual relationship.
Much happiness to you, Sweet Jordan.
2006-11-25 21:57:21 · answer #3 · answered by . 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
One excellent self-help resource are those written by Dr Burns. The book you need is "10 Days to Great Self Esteem". This has nothing to do with homosexuality itself, but it will help you identify the destructive thoughts which might be affecting you.
2006-11-26 01:30:49 · answer #4 · answered by nemesis 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Instead of asking HOW to be more confident, think about what it could be that's making you feel not confident. What's holding you back, EXACTLY? Have a conversation with yourself and ask yourself specific questions on what it could be that's causing these feelings of low self-worth or low self-esteem or whatever.
2006-11-25 21:43:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
nicely identity inform you to absolutely be your self. stay your existence the way you want and do in spite of the indisputable fact that makes you chuffed (to date because this is not likely to bother all people else of route). end worrying what people imagine about you and that i'm particular you'll initiate to experience extra optimistic and chuffed! also, when you're feeling on my own identity advise you to seem for a boyfriend. this is continually sturdy once you've someone to percentage your emotions, and your love.
2016-11-26 22:39:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When dealing with "out of your league" people, remember that they go to the bathroom just like you. Just go up to somebody and say "Hi, I'm (say your name)" and shake hands. Compliment the guy on what he's wearing and ask where he got that shirt.
2006-11-27 07:05:43 · answer #7 · answered by JLee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i understand where your coming from. i can start a conversation on line and then continue in person. but if i meet someone in person first i can't seem to start one. if they start it i have no problem continuing. was told the best way was to start on line in my case and as time goes i will be able to start them in person as i build more confidence
2006-11-26 00:25:22 · answer #8 · answered by Ron N 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Listen to Madonna
2006-11-25 21:55:11 · answer #9 · answered by Maddy 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Learn to stick up for yourself
2006-11-25 21:10:58 · answer #10 · answered by burning brightly 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋