The sorrow creeps across my heart,
As I read poems of doom.
Oh God please help these hurtful souls,
And rid them of their gloom.
I read and read,
And cry and cry.
The sorrow just won’t leave,
As I see the children of the world,
Get hurt and pain and bleed.
I try and try to cheer their souls,
But all to no avail.
For no one ever listens to,
A girl that seems to fail.
2006-11-25 20:33:40 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Other - Arts & Humanities
Your writing is sweet and true to English rhythms. You have some talent and an ear for expression.
Your poem is a plaint, a short lament, and well done, too. But at the end the subject changes most drastically. The sense of empathy that was building is dashed with a line of self deprecating shame.
Please have more faith and confidence in yourself. Just like the piano; poetry, school, relationships, life, whatever, take work and perseverance. Hang in there, and you won't "seem to fail."
Please keep writing.
2006-11-25 21:06:52 · answer #1 · answered by Longshiren 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Roxy, Roxy, you're so foxy.
why not leave all your sorrow, for tomorrow.
Today is the time to be glad, not so sad.
Take your mind off all those who bleed -
do something different - and take the LEAD.
Pick one soul, and you'll start to roll.
think about what you can do for them
remember the words of Jerusalem (Pray for the peace of Jerusalem)
make someones day,
with every word you say.
:-)
2006-11-25 20:39:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don’t comprehend the position poetry comes from, yet i comprehend that in each and every human being exists a contact of darkness, a spark of light, and all colorations in between. I don’t see this as being a thoroughly darkish poem about loss and loneliness. i love that the poet sees that, although she feels on my own at that second, and that she hurts to the point of tears at that second, the international isn't all cruel and vindictive. human beings care about one yet another, and human beings even favor to look after on yet another. i love this poem: it shows the discomfort and loneliness that all of us experience at circumstances, and can provide wish to bypass previous the discomfort.
2016-11-29 19:16:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is very intense, good expression, great poem.
2006-11-25 20:35:51 · answer #4 · answered by Eternity 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
good job girl :) its good..but u can do better with time :)
2006-11-25 20:35:53 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
fantastic..i would love to read more from you
2006-11-25 20:43:58 · answer #6 · answered by pennylish 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
...good job, keep writing.
2006-11-25 20:39:08 · answer #7 · answered by magnamamma 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
keep it up good...
2006-11-25 20:37:12 · answer #8 · answered by dayzed 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋