He had gone away
Leaving her a kiss
Despite her plea to stay
To the abyss
As days passed
For him, she waited
As the bliss would last
For his coming belated
She would pray
To the clouds above
For the safe return
Of her love
He did not return
Leaving her lonesome
She’d long and yearn
For it to come
Day and night
She waited in pain
But her faith
Did not wane
Nothing deterred her
Nor did she cry
Nor her hope waver
As time flew by
At last one day
Her beloved came
Not old nor grey
Unlike her, but the same
2006-11-25 19:51:08 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Books & Authors
I hope its good.
2006-11-25 19:51:33 · update #1
I agree with the other guy. You try too hard to find the rhymes. A poem has to show the writer's expression, not the rhyme. But overall, the plot is good.
2006-11-25 21:43:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
a few things good and a few things not, you tried too hard to find rhymes, poems are from the heart, not everything needs a rhyme. Overall I'd say good try and hopefully you will keep posting.
2006-11-26 04:00:28 · answer #2 · answered by Southie9 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is pretty good. Ambiguous, but I assume that that is the point.
Holds an air of mysteriousness. Which is good, really.
But one thing: I think that each line is sort of... short. (no offense) This is just my personal opinion. Maybe it's your style?
2006-11-26 04:15:53 · answer #3 · answered by Cat Fanatic 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Cool poem. Nice ending. But it makes me sad :( I guess that might be part of the point.
2006-11-26 04:04:59 · answer #4 · answered by Freedomfly 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
lovely! I love the last three lines,a sweet and tender poem.
2006-11-26 03:55:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I liked it....haunting
2006-11-26 04:02:56 · answer #6 · answered by darcy m 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
IM 16 AND I CAN WRITE BETTER IM MUTIL EVERYTHING
2006-11-26 03:52:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 4⤋