My Best Friend is Pregnant With Her First Child and She Is scared and confused her boyfriend wants her to keep the baby but she doesn't feel ready to become a young mother she is looking at me for advice but I keep telling her I can not make her decision for her and I will support her no matter what she decides but I told her if it were me I would not keep it because of me age and my situation I don't want to tell her anything pass that because I want her to do want is best for her I trying my hardest to be a good friend I just confused on how to handle that situation
2006-11-25 19:31:08 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
You are a good friend, but pay attention to not influence her in this delicate decision, because you might regret it for the rest of your life.
just be there for her
2006-11-25 19:35:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was 18 the first time I became pregnant. Not planned at all, we were using birth control. My plan at 18 was to get married and finish college while my husband worked. Instead, I became a stay at home mommy while my husband went into the military to support us. I am 23 now, and have two beautiful children. I couldn't be happier. Life has its own way of taking you where it wants to go instead of you being the leader. The key is being able to stay happy no matter where you are in life. Do I regret not finishing school? Absolutely, but a lot less than I would regret not reading night time stories and not being the one my child can depend on. School is not gone for me. I plan on taking online courses and still getting my degree. It's a different degree though than I originally was going after. Had I stayed in school, I think I would be miserable in my career. Some times even we don't know what is best for our own lives. Plans B and C exist for a reason and sometimes they are the best plans. I believe that if you do what your heart tells you is the right thing to do, not the easiest, than you can live your life with no regrets. If being a mommy is not the best thing for her or her child right now, then please please consider adoption. It sounds like she has good support from the father and I also believe that it is his baby too, so consider his oppinion. At least deliver the baby and give him the option of being a single daddy if she is not interested in being a mommy. One more thing, I have two friends that have gotten pregnant in the middle of college. They had the baby and finished college! It is possible to do both a family and a career. You know what you can handle. I couldn't do both and feel content. At school I felt I was neglecting my family. At home I felt like I was neglecting school. She just has to decide what is best for her! You're doing a great job of supporting her. That's probably the best thing for her right now, just make sure you let her make the decision on her own. She has to live it for the rest of her life and you will be there to see her emotions.
2006-11-25 20:08:16 · answer #2 · answered by Concerned Mom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all, you are being a wondeful friend. You did tell her that you can not make the decision for her b/c it is her choice. You are absolutely correct. The only thing I can suggest you to tell her to do is to see a social worker. If she has insurance tell her to call and make an appointment w/ a social worker or a psychologist. They will talk to her about the options of having a baby and what to expect. Can your friend talk to her and his parents in order to come up with a decision plan? Will they both be financially ready? Who will take care of the baby? Will both your friend and her boyfriend be working/going to school? Does your friend want to put the baby up for adoption? Have an abortion? Will they both be capable of taking on the full responsibilities? Good Luck. It is a difficult decision to face at age 19.
2006-11-25 19:43:39 · answer #3 · answered by xratedmami05 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi i have been in the same situation but different. i was 19 when i fell pregnant with my first child and was not ready to be a mum and my boyfriend wasn't ready to be a dad even though he was nearly three years older then me.
your friend needs to think long and hard about both options because they are not that easy to make, they both change your life. you are right you cant make the decision for her. she needs to talk to her parent about everything she is thinking because he needs to be aware of her feelings after all she has to go though with what ever she chooses to do. that is the only way my partner and i decided on keeping our baby. if she chooses to keep the baby please tell her being a teenage mum is not as hard as alot of people say, i love being a young mum i have the energy to look after and grow with my child. it is always hard at first but pregnancy and child raising is always abit hard because after all it is a job she will have for the rest of her life and it doesn't matter what age you are. try and be positive and supportive for her she will need it what ever decision she makes. i hope i have helped, good luck
2006-11-25 19:59:19 · answer #4 · answered by regie811 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sadly, I've been in the position of the unannounced. Not "ready" doesn't = abortion etc. If the support for the child is unstable, alternatives there are.
In 72 hrs there is the day after pill. Or she has the child. NO child is borne into peace. Just the way it is here lately. You look her square in the eye and tell her you support her decision.
Simple as that. That is the only valid response. 100%.
Not an option in either direction.
You look her square in the eye and tell her you support her decision.
2006-11-25 20:01:48 · answer #5 · answered by Ylyssa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your a good friend for caring!! Nice going!! If I were you,I would 1) suggest she contact Focus on the Family (www.Family.org) They have a lot of resources in regards to things like this 2) Listen to her...ask how she feels..Does she want to keep and raise the child? How does she feel about adoption?? Ask her questions like these....it may help her to sort thru her own feelings by getting them out into the open. 3) Call 1-800-new-life
There should be somebody their who might be able to steer her to a crisis pregnancy center near her so she could get counsel from some people who have "been there,done that".......
I hope that helps.....
2006-11-25 19:48:30 · answer #6 · answered by Chief Paduke 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her no matter what decision she makes, u will always be there for her. If i were her, i would probably keep the baby as a baby is a human being too and by aborting it is like killing it
2006-11-25 19:42:03 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋