My husband and I have been together 9 years, and 95 percent of the time I have been significantly overweight. Over time, as all marriages do, we have become less passionate, but I am now concerned with our relationship slowly beginning to reflect our sex life as of late. We have only made love 5 times this year, which is pathetic by my standards! (and would not have been were it up to me). We have always been able to talk about anything, but this is now a very overtalked and sore subject, and neither of us have a real solution for it. I mention being overweight for obvious reasons regarding our sex life, but he has always maintained it has nothing to do with the problem. I guess I am not so much looking for answers, but more to see if anyone else out there has been in a similar situation, and how they coped.
2006-11-25 19:16:33 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Many times, when 1 person in a relationship is overweight, it is not what the "thin" person thinks as what the overweight person thinks about themselves. If someone is not happy with their physical appearance it shows in their actions. The way they dress, how they act in bed, and in public.
If that is not the trouble, it could be many things. Some people would never admit that the relationship is in trouble because of a weight issue. Unless your husband is a very honest person he might not come out and say, hey..it's because you've gained a few pounds. Lack of sex can be a sign of depression, general disinterest, or even an affair.
I suggest you seek marriage counseling.
2006-11-25 19:26:32 · answer #1 · answered by imy 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you've been overweight for the majority of your relationship and you're just now having problems, I doubt weight has anything to do with it. It sounds as if you're self conscious about it and looking for a way to make that the issue.... and I think you need to look deeper than that. You've been married 9 years, relationships go through hard times, and this isn't an unusual phase for some people.
Try talking to him... and if he won't talk, then start doing things to make yourself feel better and improve your self esteem... and marriage counseling isn't a bad idea.
2006-11-25 20:55:15 · answer #2 · answered by just_me3575 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your being overweight has absolutely nothing to do with any of the problems in your marriage. Either you or him are conveniently using it as an excuse or a reason for the troubles. It is always something else - lack of communication, mistrust, resentment...
2006-11-26 00:06:26 · answer #3 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a lot of guys get enough "full-fillment"just being with the love of their life as they grow older.although sex can be great,it's not as important as it once was.doubt very serious if weight has anything to do with it so,,drop the paranoid approach.
2006-11-25 19:39:02 · answer #4 · answered by jgmafb 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes dierdra email me
2006-11-25 19:19:10 · answer #5 · answered by beckdawgydawg 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him to please go to counseling with you. If he refuses, go alone. It will help.
2006-11-26 01:28:58 · answer #6 · answered by bobbysgirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋