I just learned that my 12 year old daugther is not my biological daughther. She's the daughther of my wife's old flame. I have been married to myy wife for 11 years. We got married while I was in undergrad and when she moved in with me she was already carrying what I thought was my kid and didn't tell me until 3 months later. Now I learn that I am not the biological father. When the news was revealed, she immediately connected with this man whom she claim to not spoken with in over 14 years. Just recently she reconnected with him and had an affair with him. I have an kid(4 years old) outside of our marriage which I thought we had worked through those issues and I let everything out in the open with my affair. But for her to have deceived me for so many years I can't help but think she trapped me. I was willing to stay after finding out the paternity but for her to continue to have relations and affairs with this man after the fact is unsettling. any advice
2006-11-25 18:29:45 · 11 answers · asked by duped36 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Wow, the deception will not go away. Really once it has been done like that it will just happen again, and again. The only way she will stop is if she never did it in the first place. Maybe she will find a man she can be honest with, but once that line has been crossed it is so easy to just do it again. I am speaking from experience. I have finally found the one man I can give my life to, and he always comes before me. You just need to find that one woman. I truly believe if she has a heart felt apology she means it, but when things get sticky is when it is so easy to do it again. You just have to never do it even the first time. My advice to you is pick up your pieces and start putting your own life together. The rest will follow suit. Maybe not when and how you like it, but in the end, just stay true and good to yourself, things will be as they were meant to be. I have empathy for your sorrow and wish you a short road to get to your happyness!
2006-11-25 18:40:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It was devious on her part to marry you making you think that it was your baby she was carrying. I'm certain she knew it wasn't your baby. Right now on the records, both of you have had affairs. You can't judge who did the better or right thing anymore. Each to their own in their fairness. You got to do a lot of talking with her. If she wants to continue with her affairs and relationships with other men, QUIT! Move on. When you say, "my 12 year old daughter", I'm assuming you love her very much even though she is biologically not yours. Consider the child's mental and emotional psyche too. If you are going to go away, let them all down gently for the sake of the child. Be in touch with your daughter always and love her as you always have.
2006-11-25 18:36:42 · answer #2 · answered by happykat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After twelve years she's your daughter no matter what.
Here's the burn, you were cheated out of twelve years of child support, that's about 20% of his income your wife gave away.
You have to pay on 4 year old kid right?
Maybe when your wife hits him up with the back child support he won't be so quick to jump in the sack with her.
If she refuses seek a lawyer and sue both of them.
2006-11-25 21:21:23 · answer #3 · answered by justpatagn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
even although that you probably did have an affair, she forgave you and also you adult men were shifting on. She on the different hand not absolutely cheated, yet to boot deceived you with the help of telling you that you've been the toddler's father. for my section it rather is foundation for divorce. in case you nonetheless favor to be inclusive of her then enable her comprehend she both stops seeing him or its over. If she will be able of not comply, then go away her bc she doesnt rather love you. in simple terms ascertain that the youngster does not wade through contained in the technique.
2016-11-26 22:32:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
love that twelve yr old like it was yours, and to deceive for so many years is unforgivable, and thats without the affairs after the fact.
2006-11-25 18:34:11 · answer #5 · answered by ckgene 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why are the two of you even married... all of these out of wedlock children prove that the love is no longer enough to keep the two of you happy... it's time to walk.
2006-11-25 18:32:55 · answer #6 · answered by apple martini 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like your relationship has more problems than what both of you think... may i suggest marriage counsoling?
2006-11-25 18:31:57 · answer #7 · answered by love_ridden_85 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
too much betrayal.... if she is not willing to work things out, then move-on
2006-11-25 18:36:28 · answer #8 · answered by Morena 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow! what a complicated family
2006-11-25 18:41:15 · answer #9 · answered by me 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go,go,...there id no trust at all and it makes you wonder what else is she hiding!!!!
2006-11-25 18:33:25 · answer #10 · answered by curious 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋