will u correct the last paragraph?

Question

Maybe, all of two claims are extreme, but what I want to tell you is not that the world must go to the extremely ruin. We forget a very important thing. We chase a unconditional developing without considering humanistic. Computer which seems like human is not a human, even though they can mimic a real human.
We should consider nature to the first because we derived from nature. I immensely love the earth and hope the earth will not be ruined in the future. People are constantly saying the world is developing, but I want they know what the real 'Develop' is.
We must consider ‘Humanism’ when we develop the world.

Thank u for every1 replied

Answer 1

It's a bit difficult because your first sentence is ambiguous. At present it reads as "all of the two claims" relate back to what you said in a previous paragraph. I get the impression, though, that your "two claims" are the ones you make beneath, regarting humanism and naturalism? I have assumed this in my redrafting. I have also taken the liberty of reorganising your arguments a bit and add a sentence at the bottom.

I would like to make two claims, both of which may seem extreme, but which in fact seek to keep the world from going to devastating extremes. We have forgotten essential things. We are in constant pursuit of economic and technological progress without properly considering human development. For instance, computer technology, which may seem human and can be adapted to emulate human behaviour, is anything but.

Also, we should put nature above most other things, because we ourselves derive from nature. Loving nature and earth is like loving your parents, and I fervently hope earth will not be ruined by so-called "progress". People like to say that the world is developing, but they should perhaps stop to think about the true meaning of the word development.

Thus, true development is the one that takes as its beginning and its end our humanism, and places this humanism in the context of the fate of nature and earth.

Answer 2

Maybe this would be a rough estimate of what you want to tell:

Maybe, both the claims are extreme, but what I would want to tell you is not that the world must go to destruction. We forget a very important thing. We chase an unconditional development without considering humanistic properties. A computer, though human-like, is not a human, even though they can mimic many functions of a real human. We should consider nature first, as we are derived from nature. I immensely love the earth and hope the earth will not be ruined in the future. People are constantly saying the world is developing, but I want they know what 'Development' really is. We must consider ‘Humanism’ when we develop the world.

If you want it in better words, mail me offline and I could help you.

Answer 3

Though both of the claims are extreme but what I want to tell you is that the world must not go to the extreme ruin. We forget a very important thing. We chase an unconditional development without considering humanity. Computer which seems to be as clever as a human is not a human actually but just a machine designed by the humans. Humans are natural. We should considr nature to the first for we have been derived from the nature. I love my earth immensely. People are constantly saying the wosld is developing but htis is not true for the earth is being polluted. I want them to be aware of the fact that Humanity is the real development.

Answer 4

maybe both the claims are extreme, but i want to tell you that the world need not face ultimate ruin. we are forgetting one important fact. we chase unstructured development with no consideration to the human aspects of this development. computers, though quite human in action, are but machines.
we should give primary importance to nature as we have evolved from it. i immensely love this earth and hope it will not be ruined. people constantly speak of "developing". i would like to know what the true meaning of "develop" is.
humanism should be of primary concern in development of the world.

Answer 5

No, that's no longer impressive. it really is going to say... very last week I went to Jakarta. After arriving, i got here upon countless similarities between the campus in my village and the campus in Jakarta. the academics who taught in my campus and the academics who taught contained in the Jakarta campus were similar. although, i'd upload HOW the academics were similar truly than purely declaring that they were similar. for instance, you would possibly want to say, "the academics in Jakarta jogged my memory of the academics in my village because..." And write in why they reminded you or why they are similar. It sounds undesirable to apply a similar be conscious two times the way you probably did, and hence you probably did not truly introduce any new information. in words of information, all you've suggested is, "i spotted some similarities. the academics were similar." tell me WHY or HOW the academics were similar so as that I actually have something to imagine about and get to adventure your adventure. it really is what writing truly is in case you imagine about it. that's one human being sharing an adventure with others by written words.

Answer 6

Ikur's and hans' could be good paraphrases of your statement.,