I dont kno what to do from here.?

Question

I have been driving a girl i kno to work in the mornings and on the way home. we used to never talk now were friends. The other day she really opened up to me about some problems shes had and i realized i had feelings for her and im kind of scared now. we try hang out on the weekends and stuff but for some reason or another each weekend it gets put off i really want this to become more then a friendship. Do i make a move and try to kiss her.... or tell her how i feel.

Answer 1

Hi Alex, this is the advice you need - honest!

When she opened up to you about her problems, was there any indication that her problems involved any other man?. If her issues are to do with a current relationship or even past one, I would say to you that no, she definitley isn't ready to be dating you because she is only wanting you to be a listening ear.

But even if she does like you, if she is with someone else and not happy with them, then she has to resolve that first before going out with you. If she keeps talking about an ex, then she really isn't ready either because she will be still thinking about that person.

I don't know what she opened up to you about, but what she says to you will be what you should be listening out for. If she is having problems anyway, I would try not to get yourself too involved as a friend because it is likely that she just wants somone to off load her emotions onto. I would try and not give her a lift into work all of the time, but only when it suits you - you have that right.

All you have to tell her is that you are now going to the gym early before work and so can't always give her a lift. If she likes you enough for who you are as a friend at least, then I will guarantee you that she will make an attempt to make some move if you try and stand back a little bit.

If you are too convienient and give her lifts and listen to her all the time, she will see you as somone she can rely on to push all of her problems onto and won't see you as somone she can get to know and like as a potential boyfriend. Stop being so nice to her and I know you mean well by her, but she will see you as a dumping ground for her problems and not see you in the light you want her to.

Show a bit of distance and that way, I promise you that she will come running to seek out your affections, but don't go back to giving her lifts everday unless she and you do become an item first. Just give her a lift twice a week and and allow her to sort out her problems herself because the more reliant she becomes on you, the more that she isn't going to make any moves because she will be too comfortable with what she has already and won't want that to change and especially more so if she is hung up about another guy she may be talking to you about.

If she likes you more than as a friend, the only way you are going to find out rather than asking her right out, is to stand back. She will either come running to you and reveal how she feels or she will give you a wide berth. If she does give you a wide berth, then that means she took your friendship for granted anyway and didn't like you in the first place enough to want more than a listening ear.

If you give your free lifts and listening ear the way you are too much, then she will not move forward with you - some women will find comfort zones in men like she has with you, but once found, it can be difficult for the man (you) to stand back, and she will see you as a source of convienience rather than a potential lover. But do stand back and because if you want her to like you in the right way, then she will respect you more and come to see you as the great guy you really are.

Right now, she is so used to being picked up, listened to that she has become familiar with this and will take it for granted that you are predictable. Women like men to be slightly not so predictable and so I would say that by not giving her those lifts everday, will make her see you as somone who can say no too. She will then respect you more and treat you far more special than she does now and come running to want to be with you.

Answer 2

if you just want to hang out like you say you do, now is not the time for a kiss. Sounds like she's backing out because she doesn't want to scare you away, but basically she still needs the ride to work. What if you tell her how you feel and she doesn't feel the same way about making this a real friendship? She will panic. Why not just keep your feelings inside and see what she does. There will probably come a time that she finds another ride or buys a car (if she doesn't have one now) and at that time you can ask if you both can date. Sounds like the ball is in her court.

Answer 3

Its cool because she does like you or trust you one way or another to be able to let herself be open with you. I suggest not moving too fast to break what trust she feels, and wait until you know her a little more before making any moves. Things will come a lot easier if she knows and trust you more, maybe even happen on its own with no push from you!

Answer 4

Just be friends for now & see what developes.Once you two finally go out or get together to spend time,,then you can talk about what the other wants out of this relationship. Maybe she is hesitant because she doesnt quite know yet what she or you wants so keep it as friends for now.

Answer 5

From what I just read...don't make a move so quickly unless if you're confident that she's not going to run off from it.

If you think she has NO idea whatsoever that you have feelings for her, then starting giving her hints...and then gradually move up.

Answer 6

I wouldn't put a move on her i would opened up to to her and tell her how i fell then what happened happends

Answer 7

tell her how you feel ..do not make a move and try to kiss her it will make things worse maybe not but better to tell her so yeah good luck

Answer 8

Just be there for her,friends make the best relationships...

Answer 9

wanna be my frnd I ll b a good friend if u want u can e-mail me at [e-mail] i will b waiting