I filed for divorce last month. Husband and I are still living together, with our 2 children. It has been a living hell. For the most part, I try my best to not to interact much with him, because it hurts too much. His continuous infidelity is tearing me apart.
He feels he's been wounded because I filed for divorce. He blames me for his cheating, and has not apologized because he feels he was totally justified. He hasn't done anything to try and rectify the situation or help me to trust him. In fact, he's still sleeping around.
Will he ever own up to what he's done? Will he ever stop blaming me?
2006-11-25 17:16:53 · 21 answers · asked by MaknMeCrzy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I dont know why you still are letting him live in the house with you. Kick his a s s out.
Him living there is also going to make things worse for your children. They are already going through enough with you 2 getting a divorce they don't need to deal with you constantly fighting about his adultry in the same house as them.
2006-11-25 17:22:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have done nothing wrong at all! It is HIS fault for what he has done. HE was the one to choose to go outside the marraige, he chose that you were not "good" enough for him, and so on. You did not force him to go outside the marraige and hurt not only you but your 2 children. If anyone has been wounded, is it YOU and your precious children. Since he is continuously having affairs, he will not stop. I like to say, once a cheater always a cheater. I really don't think he will ever owe up to what he has done. He thinks that if he blames you for what he has done, it makes it ok for him to continue what he is doing. He is saying these things to hurt you emotionally and to make you think that it is your fault. Trust me here, you are much better than he is. You do not need to tolerate is actions and HORRAY FOR YOU for filing a divorce. Get out of that house while you can. Take your children and leave! Do not tolerate him or his actions any more. Go to a family member or friends house for awhile if you need to. Get help but do whatever you can to end this cycle not only for you but your children. He is hurting them too by his actions whether he knows it or not. Good luck and you are in my prayers!
2006-11-26 01:38:34 · answer #2 · answered by kerrberr95 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your husband has a maturity deficit. He'll own up to this sooner or later, most likely later when he finds that a) you're really going to go through with the divorce, and b) when the novelty of his affairs wears off.
Eventually, he'll assume the blame, but it probably won't be all that sincere.
What underscores the whole situation is that you'll never fully trust him again, never. This will always be in your mind.
If he doesn't show remorse for hurting you, and damaging the family, you're best off out of it.
Good luck with this.
2006-11-26 01:25:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he hasn't owned up to what he's done, he probably won't ever. Nor will he stop blaming you because you ruined the good thing he had going honey. Instead of waiting for hell to freeze over (which will happen alot faster than for him to admit any wrong doing) you need to change your line of thinking. If he brings it up, simply say "don't put this on me...I took my vows seriously, you were the one who steered us down this path...I just made the decision to throw you back on the curb where you belong". Instead of being hurt sweetie, get angry...because that is what you really are...insanely angry. Mad that he keeps doing this, mad that he blames you, mad that he keeps cheating, mad that he's tearing apart your family. You are mad and you have every right to be. You took a step in the right direction and filed for divorce, now stand by it. If you don't, you are just going to enable him to continue to do this to you and can you really see "this" being the rest of your life? If you can't do it for yourself, do it for your children. Stop tip-toeing around to save face. Kick him out and then say all this to his face...maybe then he'll get it!
I wish you the strength of God to get you through this...you may need it, but rest assured...YOU CAN DO THIS!
2006-11-26 01:27:29 · answer #4 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
first, stop buying into his BS about any blame being on you. he was the one who stuck his thing in someone else and he needs to grow up. i would just ignore him, sounds easier said than done i know but make it a point, tell him that you are not responsible, and are not gonna act as if you are, and what good would it do to apologize to you anyway. are you gonna stop the divorce? i hope not. he is still cheating, get out, get things over and done with him, write it down on paper and give it to him with the PS stating...THIS WILL SERVE AS NOTICE THAT YOU ARE NO LONGER MY HUSBAND BECAUSE YOU DONT ACT LIKE YOU.
2006-11-26 01:46:37 · answer #5 · answered by hamhead 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO and NO.
You've filed for divorce. He needs to leave. He can blame you all his wants. He's obviously an idiot...AND a loser! HE feels wounded??? Gimme a break. He's merely trying to con you. Dont fall for his nonsensical words & thinking.
2006-11-26 01:25:44 · answer #6 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear:
Its how most husbands are and I am talking from experience!I am loving mine and living with mine but he still blames me for everything.I am so tired that I have been falling in depression over and over.
Just accept the fact that its not your fault but his.Just know that you deserve to be happy and he is jealous of you and know that life will not always be like this!
Goodluck
Love SANAM
2006-11-26 01:20:50 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DEAR GOD WOMAN!!! Move out. Get the hell away from him. It's not your fault he's a loser and a cheater. Do you have any close relatives, friends, neighbors.. anyone you can stay with until you find a place? Either that or kick his @ss out! You absolutely do not have to put up with his sh!t. Get away or make him get away. Congrats on filing for divorce. He is a loser!
2006-11-26 01:19:29 · answer #8 · answered by two_kee_kees 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
waiting for someone to own up for their mistakes is the most painful and useless waste of time a person can do in a relationship. You are only to be blamed for your actions, not his.
2006-11-26 01:32:38 · answer #9 · answered by ckgene 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
y r u still al so full of him evn aftr al these? I do knw its terrible bt do b ströng nw dat u've finaly decided and stick 2 it.seems lyk ur waitin 4 him 2 *** wid an avg xcuse so dat he can sweep u off ur feet again (take u 4 grantd,fool u again) chin up,hold ur head high and jus refuse 2 evn acknwledge his xistence.
2006-11-26 01:27:40 · answer #10 · answered by Celine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋