We're over the first honeymoon year. Now I realise that we annoy each other and I see lots of little things I didn't see before. But you know, I have had many relationships and none of them are perfect. Now I think that a person could do a lot worse than be in a stable committed affectionate relationship, even if it is occasionally a bit uninteresting and even irritating. It's hard enough to find someone you get along with okay, and there's just no point starting all over again.
Anyone else feel this way about their relationship? Do you think it's okay to accept this level of happiness?
2006-11-25 16:47:52 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Realizing that you didn't truly know your partner prior to getting married, this was inevitable. Now, as each of you establish a routine, the passion fades and the interest and spontaneity diminishes. It was a mistake to marry and a further mistake to settle for less than happiness and fun. How does this type of life bring fulfillment? While I've felt this way about past relationships, I don't agree that a measured level of happiness works. You are either happy or your not. In the end, there is no real in between.
2006-11-25 19:06:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well i have been married for 7 years, and it's no picnic. Lot's of trial and even more error. As you get to know someone it does become more like a friendship. But the question is do you want to loose that friend. Starting over is no picnic, and sometimes when you see the other person's faults you have to think about the reasons that you decided to commit. Usually those are the reasons to make it all worth while. The level of happiness you feel depends souly on you. Some times you have to help the other person along with making you feel like it's more. If you view this relationship as just a friendship then thats all it will ever be. Comunication is the key. Thats my opinion anyway.
2006-11-25 17:16:55 · answer #2 · answered by Jason B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At least you recognize you are happy! Sometimes it is a case of "better the devil you know", but don't "settle". There is no reason not to have a loving, exciting relationship - especially when you have only been married just over a year. It is important that you have friendship with your husband - he should be your best friend. But you also need to have that chemistry, that excitement - you had it once, you can have it over and over again. Marriage is really hard work - don't know why people don't realize that. You will be going through lots of things throughout your married life, both good and bad, and you need to be in synch to help each other get through stuff.
It's important that you communicate with each other - don't get "comfortable" for the wrong reasons. Stay together and work on the marriage daily because you love one another, want to be together and go through the rest of your lives together.
Sermon is over.....
2006-11-26 00:20:30 · answer #3 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, I've been married 17 yrs and half our marriage was like this. It's normal for you to question these things from time to time, but it's also important for the two of you to work together in trying to bring that love back. Sit down with hubby and have a heart to heart. Tell him that you don't want to be stuck in blahhsville. Then think back to what it took to get him in the first place. Alot of times, what it took to get him, is also what it takes to keep him. Right now it appears that both of you have fallen into the routine of life and everything has become mundane. It doesn't have to be that way. You are only going to get out of it what you put into it, so if you are unhappy, spice it up some. Go out of your way to do things for him that you use to do during the honeymoon stage. make his favorite dinner, put a little love note in his lunch, buy some sexy lingerie, etc. Marriage is a work in progress sweetie. And if you still love him, you can do this.
2006-11-25 17:05:20 · answer #4 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
When the fizzle is gone you have to have the foundation of friendship. I'm in the same boat though. I kind of miss the fizzle and the friendship is kind of one sided. I've got 27 years invested in this and your're right there are no perfect people. If I had it to over again I must admit I would look for my best friend and soulmate. Don't cheat yourself. If you are not happy either get counseling to help out or consider your alternative. Bottom line, are you best friends? If so, you have something very special.
2006-11-25 17:13:01 · answer #5 · answered by butterflylover 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have been married for 30 years. My wife is my best friend.
We both found out a long time ago that we like to go to the movies and we like to take 1-3 day mini-vacations. So we do both all the time. Sure life is a routine each day, but that is not a bad thing. Who needs suprises every day? And no, neither of us are perfect. We are 100% opposites.
2006-11-25 16:58:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes:
It happened to me after five years of marriage!But he still has my heart and I have learn that love is not all, friendship is stronger than love and besides the feeling of love only last of like the first two years of every relationship!
Dear,marriage is abt commitment and not abt feeling high in love all the time!
If you feel truly unhappy you should try counselling or talking to him.Then you can make a decision because everyone deserves to be happy!Goodluck
Love SANAM
2006-11-25 17:10:45 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Happiness is something we must all work on achieving. It is better to work on something you are familiar with than to start working on something you know little or nothing about at all. If one is able to deal safely and effectively, to some extent with a relationship he or she is already in, it is possible to communicate with everyone involved in that relationship to make it better for everyone. Yes. You are correct. Friendship on this level is fine to work with. The only drawback is when someone refuses to communicate or to make any effort at positive changes and/or physical violence rears it's ugly head-- then it is no longer a friendship.
2006-11-25 16:57:26 · answer #8 · answered by Jess4rsake 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
-i imagine you've in simple terms got here upon out what incorrect with being a "pal with reward..." and that is not any "earnings" to YOU- in any respect !! :( All you may do now -is go away the "previous" in the back of- & move On. because the LONGEST you waste some time residing on it, the a lot less destiny you're going to ought to appreciate... :(
2016-11-26 22:27:23 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my wife and i are best friends, best friends with benefits. but we are also partners, lovers, companions, bosom buddies, companions, intimates, playmates, and soul mates. we have known each other for 25 years and been together the last 14. you two need to reconnect.
2006-11-25 16:59:18 · answer #10 · answered by fn_49@hotmail.com 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋