I am 4 mths preg by someone that has 4 kids and another baby on the way as well as mine. We lived together for 3mths then I left because of him belittling my opinions and tired of hearing him fuss with the other kids mothers. I moved also so that we could still be able to communicate w/o arguin or him stressing me out. He wants me back w/him now, but I dont know. He has said some harsh things to me since I been gone... Whats a preggie to do?
2006-11-25 16:14:39 · 11 answers · asked by NuMomiNow 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
That is pretty much what I was faced with about 4 months ago..
I decided that I would be much better off without him.. and it is definately hard going through a pregnancy without the father around to share it with .. but in the long run I am WAY happier.
It's definately not healthy to get verbally abused.. and your baby feels the emotions that you feel.. so stay happy..
2006-11-25 16:25:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I certainly won't get best answer on this one but you deserve the truth since you asked and since this is an important decision.
Why are you even considering staying with this man.
I am guessing that he doens't have much, if any, money. So you'll never see a dime from him in support. Soon he will have 6 (that's SIX) babies in this world and I'm somehow pretty sure that he's not exactly up to date on his child support.
Also, if he treats you harshly now, imagine how it will be after you are done being pregnant. Plus, do you want your child to see a man talk to a woman that way?
You seem to be taking this whole situation lightly. You need to start really thinking to decide what you should do.
What about giving the baby up for adoption and then implanting an IUD or something that prevents pregnancy for a while. You're being selfish and irresponsible to get pregnant by the loser you were sleeping with.
Clearly he's not very selective. Read what that says about you.....
On the other hand, I could be totally wrong and you and he could be basking in the glow of amazing careers, etc. and ready for this baby.....
2006-11-25 16:22:02 · answer #2 · answered by ssssss 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
O.K., First off, THINK! He's got all these other children by severeal different women, second, he argues with them, most likely over the kids, and thirdly, when's the last time that he's visited all of them and made sure that they were well taken care of, I.E, child support, spending time with the children, making sure the mother has everything they need to live, etc. All these things are a big indicator about how he will treat you and your baby after they are born. If he's verbally abusive now, and he's that way with his past mothers then common sense would tell me that he's not going to be there for your kid or you and that you need to file for child support AND MAKE SURE HE PAYS IT>>> Also make arrangements for him to see his child so that when he does try to contest paying child support citing he never gets to see his kid, etc. you can point out to the court that you have made arrangements for him to see his baby but he won't. I'm telling you to do this now, because this is most likely where you will see yourself a couple of years down the line. God forbid. Don't get mixed up with people like that and you don't end up in these situations. You deserve to be treated better than the way he verbally abuses you.That's not love I'm sorry. Best of luck to you and yours and use your brain and common sense You can't go wrong.- James
2006-11-25 16:35:28 · answer #3 · answered by zekemilli4 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this mnan is being verbally or emotionally abusive now, just wait till the baby comes. Cut your losses now, and leave him alone. He's really no good, will never change and how could any self-respecting mom-to-be put up with extra added stress? Talk to him long enough to tell him that as soon as the baby comes, you will gladly have a paternity test done then go ahead wioth the court system for child support.
2006-11-25 16:18:40 · answer #4 · answered by *Larry P. he's for me* 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say if you guys can be on good terms for the baby fine. But as far as a relationship ..... definitly don't do it. He showed his true colours and is now trying to make things better. If he was belittling you now then he will move onto other forms of abuse later. Trust me on that. Take care of you and that baby.
2006-11-25 16:26:51 · answer #5 · answered by jewell2578 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh man, I'd stay away from him just for your sanity's sake, as well as your baby's sake. Stress and pregnancy is not a good combination.
Basically I would tell him to get the drama to die down and then you would consider it, but until then, that you are going to stay away so you can take it easy during your pregnancy.
Pregnancy hormones are enough of a handful to deal with, let alone adding in the drama of other circumstances. Good luck girl!
2006-11-25 16:17:27 · answer #6 · answered by meredelamour 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get him out of your life. He sounds like a loser and you don't need any extra stress right now being pregnant. You have to put your baby and yourself ahead of this guy even though he is the father. Just keep your mind on this baby and having a healthy birth and deal with him later.
2006-11-25 16:25:19 · answer #7 · answered by Isabella's Mommy Expecting #2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm sorry to hear that. maybe you should stay away, i mean look at his past. do you want to be another one of the kids mothers he fusses with? if he really wants you and only you, he will prove it to you...in time. take care of yourself and your little baby. i'll pray for you.
2006-11-25 16:29:24 · answer #8 · answered by verov 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on with your life! Obviously, he can't keep all his swimmers in one woman so it's time to get rid of him before it's you and two other women he's got preggo!
2006-11-25 16:23:10 · answer #9 · answered by ctaylor717 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Congrats on the baby! You have to think of what is best for you and your child, and not focus on what he wants.
I wish you the best!
2006-11-25 16:19:10 · answer #10 · answered by MyName 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋