that we would spend the holidays together. It works well for both of us because neither of us have a boyfriend or girlfriend since it's so difficult with kids and we both put our children first. While it was a nice holiday and the kids loved it, sometimes I feel so selfish for our marriage ending, I was so unhappy and couldn't stand staying married to him but now I wonder if I made the right decision since it seems like there's no one out there for me at this time. I often feel destined to be alone, do you truly think we meet just one mate in a lifetime? Do you think we ever have chance at love again? It's been two years now and not a glimmer of hope, I'm starting to lose faith. What do you think?
2006-11-25 15:51:09 · 15 answers · asked by ooolala 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Too bad you can't get back with your husband. I'm sure the kids would benefit greatly.
2006-11-25 16:03:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If there is one thing I've learned and that is NOT to repeat the same mistakes twice.If he didn't make you happy the first time you should be asking yourself why you think he will make you happy a second time....what your doing is settling for what you can get because you don't feel you can do any better. When we settle all we really settle for is a lifetime of misery. Please don't give up on yourself like this, even if you have to spend a lifetime alone at least you would have peace of mind as oppose to what you will have if you go back to your ex husband, I always say that you cannot put a price tag on peace of mind. The kids will be just fine as long as they see that both you and your husband are still nurturing them like you always have. But, children can sense when your not happy and going back to your ex is not setting a good example for your children if they will only see you unhappy. If you have a pretty decent social life with friends and family along with gainful employment that equates to a stable lifestyle then you will meet Mr. Right but without setting a time limit on when you think you should meet him. It may not be when you want it, but I am very sure that he will come to you. Best Wishes.
2006-11-25 16:02:52 · answer #2 · answered by jupitor 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is going to be a word play game. to spend the holiday together leaves a lot in the open. Could that not mean that for the birthday party you meet at a common place o have the childs birthday like a park and they are together for that occasion. I am sure both of them would like to see them on all these days. So when thanksgiving gets there or christmas the get together will need to be at a common place maybe a restraunt or other place to all eat or snack then go seperate ways. It will not take long for this to get old on thier part and want to split the days.
2016-03-29 09:11:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is a great thing that you can get along with your ex for the sake of the children but there was a reason that the marriage ended. Yes people do change in some cases but do not give up hope sometimes just as you are ready to give up the Mr. Right comes knocking. Never sell yourself short and follow your dreams. Never settle in fear of being alone. In the long run it is better to be alone then unhappy.
2006-11-25 15:56:00 · answer #4 · answered by crazy_sunshine2 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This could have been written by me !!!!....I have been divorced for 3 yrs...and have all the same feelings & the same questions I ask myself many times........This past year my ex and I have been hanging around together....sleeping together on occassion.....dating I guess you call it??? We dont know if we are still in love or we just cant find any other....or dont feel like looking for another???? We each have our own place...(kids r 21 & 25 & dont live @ home). We like going home to our own place most nites....he has hard bed & snores like a bear...I have soft bed and cant stand his snoring.....so we are happy with things as they are at the moment??? Sometimes I think ???What is this? What r we doing?.....We were both very lonely when apart....I often wonder about the one soul mate in life...is it true???...he says yes...and i am it......But like you i was so unhappy and couldnt stand staying married to him.....What if he is my only.....I certainly have not been interested in any of the several men I have tried to "date"....I dont know?!?....If you get any answers....let me know please..........
2006-11-25 16:17:07 · answer #5 · answered by Lrn'dTheHardWay 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
2 years is not much time. Are you getting out and meeting people? Join new groups.Take a dance class or a foreign language course. Go back to school. Volunteer. Join a church that has an active social program. Learn to ski. It takes time to meet the right person. Also,has your ex changed? Sometimes it works to get back together if you get counseling.
2006-11-25 15:57:25 · answer #6 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have a very similar situation, except im not the parent in the situation i am the kid. my mom and dad is similar to your info. and yea, it may be hopeless to find someone else out there. But i am still in school and my parents have been devorced for about 9 years (wont say when it started). i had found out though, that my dad is enganged to a great woman who i know well enough to be a good stepmom and a good friend of me and my siblings. now, even though, it has been 2 years for you, just know that you couldnt lose hope. my dad hadnt been looking for a woman, but it just happened after like, maybe, 6 years. now im not saying you wont fall in love and be with someone after 6 years has passed, but just because 2 years had passed, doesnt mean you wont find love, sure it is taking awhile but if it is destined, than im sure you will find someone if you let it happen. If you want someone than make sure your kids have a say in it, they may say they dont care but sometimes they may, and they dont want anyone else to be apart of your family other than their dad and you. Just, dont lose faith, and if you really want to find your true love, than remember, someday it will come,and even though it has been a few years, love doesnt exactly come fast, so be open-minded and go for it. Dont lose hope, and everything will be fine! =)
2006-11-25 16:17:43 · answer #7 · answered by Cornelia Anabelle Banana Bo Peep 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear for you is two years, and for me is twenty two years! Neither you nor him is going EVER feel happy again. You both may found someone for a while, but its just waste of time and corruption of mind!
The main reason is your children; 50% of them belong to you and 50% belong to him. NO ONE HAS POWER TO change it.
Your children will NEVER feel happy again and they become BOTH like you TWO!??
In whole the World of CRIME there is nothing worse than DIVORCE! Divorce is worst than murder and rape!
We had very strong reason to do such crime; and I felt never happy again, and my ex and me never married again, we all suffered.
SO, if there is NOT VERY SERIOUS problom between you two,
PLEASE get back together for this beautiful Christmas and give the BEST GIFTS of the WORD to your Children.
Dear! believe me, when WE HAVE CHILDREN, than 'WE" are not existing anymore without them.
WE and OUR CHILDREN are like a mixture that make a beautiful and WARM "HOME".... IF anyone is missing, than there is not HOME again.
HOME is holy and have dignity. So, it does not seem to me that you are a cruel mother. DO NOT BE oppressive MOM and LET they have their DAD & MON together;
It is VERY GOOD for "YOU" too! Believe me!
I guarantee your happiness. Good Luck! BE BRAVE!
BE BRAVE means that you take sometimes some kinds of hardship, do not worry he is a good man, he is your children DAD! Isn't HE?
2006-11-25 16:15:34 · answer #8 · answered by Iranian Amigo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may not be. He may have been the right one for you and you guys just needed time to realize that you had a few problems to work out or on. Then in again you may not be truly giving anyone else a fair chance because it isn't what you want, you don't want to go through it again, isn't ready or is realizing he is for you. Sometimes, you don't know what you have until its too late or gone.
2006-11-25 15:55:05 · answer #9 · answered by RoxieC 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Life seems good right now. Just think of why. You dont have to comitt to him any more but you still get to see him. If you didnt have to see him anymore you would think you made a wrong mistake. Just keep looking out there. It is hard to find a guy(that isnt a creep) but try plentyofish.com or a myspace page.
2006-11-25 16:00:20 · answer #10 · answered by Hello!!! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is hope for you. you are looking for an excuse to go back to something that is familiar to you. give it a chance to work for you. you said in your question that you are putting your children first, that is why you haven't found someone yet. you need to get out. you and your ex have a working relationship with each other, so you can go on a date or just go out with someone to a movie or bowling. (not your ex) and he can watch the children. you do not have to feel guilty or owe him any explanation on your whereabouts. you have to give your self time. don't look for anyone ,trust me they will find you. but once you closed that door on your ex , keep it closed. you'll be okay it takes time.
2006-11-25 16:05:54 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋