my ex fiance and I broke up in june after being together 2 years, he has two little girls 5 and 8 who became very attached to me as well as me to them, their mom likes me alot, she has full custody but while we were together the girls spend alot of time with us.
My ex swore if we ever ended he would never keep me from them, because i am like a second mom to them.
Since we broke up in June, he has become very bitter with me, he told the girls mom, who live 100 miles away that he did not want me to call or be around the girls again, they had a huge arguement over this, she told him she had custody and the girls loved me and insisted on calling me everytime they come to town.
They called me Wed. before thanksgiving to let me know they will be in town their mom says they want to see me, they were here for 5 days and he told them every time they asked "NO" they could not see me, I do not talk to him, and don't want to, I feel so sad for the girls, do i ignore the girls, or him
2006-11-25 15:48:40 · 11 answers · asked by snickerdoodle 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Do you plan to be in their lives forever, or will you eventually become too busy, and the distance too great to maintain any type of relationship with them? What happens when their dad remarries?
Respect their father's wishes and let them all get on with their lives.
2006-11-25 15:53:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He and his first ex are parents together. His wishes need to be respected. You need to talk to him long enough to tell him that you don't want to hurt the girls, but that you need to tell them that you love them and good bye for the girls sake and not his. It is very traumatic for young children to have someone be life a "second Mom" and then have that person ripped away by circumstance. the only person that the two of you are hurting are the girls by being petty. He will eventually see the errors of his ways and will allow you back into their life. But he does have a say in how the girls are raised. the longer you disrespect him the more he'll restrict you from seeing or hearing from them.
2006-11-25 23:54:57 · answer #2 · answered by espressoaddict22 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is the reason you never bring a woman into your children's life unless you know for sure you are going to marry her.
The truth is, at the ages of 5 and 8 you can gracefully fade out of their life. If you don't you are causing a conflict between them and their dad and that relationship is way more important than their relationship with you. Get over that "second mom" stuff. I have a feeling you miss them more than they miss you and enjoy ticking off the ex boyfriend that you were probably shacked up with .
2006-11-26 00:24:38 · answer #3 · answered by lily 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to do what is in the best interest of the children. You are all adults, and you and the girls mother seem to be acting maturely. Your ex on the other hand sounds like he is behaving like a child. I suggest you discontinue contact with him entirely. If he will not let you do this - get a restraining order. Continue to see the girls, do NOT rub it in his face, and like I say, if you continue to do what is in the best interest of the children, and eliminate the negative influences in your life (the ex), you will sleep well at night.
Best of luck to you all.
2006-11-26 00:01:29 · answer #4 · answered by sweet_leaf 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's suppose to be the adult and the kids are just that kids. So ignore his requests if the girls want to see you while they are in town. It will make them, you and their mom all feel better.
2006-11-25 23:54:32 · answer #5 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call thier mom and tell her that you wish to remain friends with the girls if she thinks its ok. Write them letters and send them cards. Just dont let them think you never cared.
2006-11-25 23:52:50 · answer #6 · answered by JC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would ignore him. Children are inocennt. They can not fight for what they want. You can. The mother sounds like to best place to start. Ask her if you can have the kids after his visit is over. That will get him.
2006-11-25 23:53:17 · answer #7 · answered by Hello!!! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should gently back out of their lives. It's obviously difficult for their Dad and he has to deal with his children when they talk about you to him. You should respect his wishes. His ex wife could be bitter with him and is playing them against him. You sound like a caring person and obviously love them, so withdraw from their lives, slowly.
2006-11-25 23:59:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Him,he needs his @ss kicked the children come first and forever and he needs to know this you need to tell him.His ex wife has the children she makes the decisions who can see the children not him so go see the children they need to see you.
2006-11-26 00:07:13 · answer #9 · answered by Douglas R 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ignore him and keep being friends with the girls even if its jus phone conversation for the time being till you can meet them without his knowing
2006-11-26 00:20:47 · answer #10 · answered by tutsie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋