i dont like being lez its soo depressing(read below)?

Question

ok i like girls and i know i do but like idk sometimes ill think bout a guy in that way. but when im hugging them and stuff its like i see them as brothers, but yet i sometimes fantasize about them. and me being with a guy as more than a friend is really awkward to me its like woah buddy back off. does that happen to u guys sometimes? and its depressing because im not open in my family only outside my home and its like im lying constantly about who i am. i hate it, i really do. it also gets really lonely.

ok please stop with the religious answers i have no problem with faith i respect your point of views, but your not really helping................................................................................also i am very open outside of home and away from family even though some family know about me already. its just sooo aggrivating havn to hide from every1 else in my family.

its not that easy to come out, im only 15. and im worried theyll kick me out or something.

Tony S yea i did have bf too but only saw him as a friend it was awkward so i dumped em but ii neva had gf b4. im scared in a way.

Answer 1

Totally normal to sometimes fantasize about men. A lot of lesbians do it. Of course, most don't, but some do. In fact, you should read some of Pat Califia's work- read the introduction to the book "Macho Sluts", where there's talk about how lesbians must have the right to sexualize men if they want. Moreover, what you fantasize about has NOTHING to do with your sexual orientation. It's your desires and who you want to be with; what you fantasize about is just sexy junk. Most of the stuff I fantasize about I would never ever really want to do in real life, and you make it abundantly clear that men aren't for you in real life, either. Enjoy, and don't worry, it's perfectly normal.

As for being so depressing, it's not lesbianism that's so depressing, but the fact that you're closeted. I realize it's a hard thing, and all my love pours out to you. Coming out might not make things necessarily easy (depends on how your family and friends react), but usually, once you do, it feels like that weight has been lifted- you are no longer lying, and you find people to rally around you and support you (they might be family and friends; they might be new friends). Try to keep your chin up, and good luck.

Answer 2

You are in a tough situation. First of all, it would probably be good for you to get involved in your local gay community. That will give you a support group and some friends who know what you are going through. This is a good place to start:
http://www.glbtnationalhelpcenter.org/programs/index.html
Second of all, try not too analyze yourself too much. Just let yourself feel what you feel for now. Date a girl or two if you get the chance, but be open to see how you feel about boys. I don't doubt that you are gay if you really feel you are, but at this time in your life it's a great time to be open with yourself and experiment with your feelings. Keep a journal and that will help you know and remember your feelings about things. Good luck!

Answer 3

well i find it hard too but i just really dont care anymore what my family thinks because aslong as you know yourself is happy you should do whats right.As for the being with a guy and finding it akward its the same for me because i be with my girlfriend and i feel like shes a friend and so i dump her and found me a boyfriend and find that im rather happy with a guy then a girl but if you need someone to talk to you can talk to me :) hope you feel happy and wish you a nice day.

Answer 4

If you would like to read some info about coming out to your parents this might help.Here is some info that you can read.
http://www.pflag.org/Frequently_Asked_Questions.comingout_faq.0.html#10
There are also organizations that kids your age belong too, some are out and some aren't but they offer support to one another. They are called One in Ten, and here is their website for you to read:
http://www.1n10.org/
Another organization that is for students too that promotes a positive change in schools.
http://www.glsen.org/cgi-bin/iowa/all/home/index.html

Answer 5

OK, i can tell your not happy with your life as it is now, so now we must change it. first come out and enjoy who you are and how you feel,the longer you hold it in the worst you will feel and be depressed. you will find that right person at that point and feel much better with yourself. never be unhappy with who you are every ones special.

Answer 6

Hey, I think what's happening here is lesbianism is taking the easy way out. See, God made men and women different so we can grow as individuals and learn to work through our differences to compliment one another. To be with the same sex probably is more comfortable because its easier. Same sex has more in common and can relate with one another easier. Try not to see it as discomfort to be with a guy, but strange and exciting new territory; an adventure if you will. Yet, I must add a guy will never give you true fulfillment either. Only Christ can do that.

Answer 7

i'm that way to i see i guy thats hot but then when i talk to him i think of him as a friend only and i haven't to my parents yet either and i love girls i think it's just the way it is with it all

Answer 8

You should come out to your family as a lesbian but keep the "Gay Pride" bs in the closet.

Answer 9

Honey,
Let you Heart lead the way.

When your Heart, mind, and soul are as one,
then you will know it will be right, no matter what you decide?

Sincerely, Ant 0:-)

Answer 10

my advice for you to have sex once with a boy another time with a girl decide which was the best for you and go for it, never tell you family about your sex life it s your life and they have to respect it.