How do you see the good in other people?

Question

How do you truly see the good in people (I'm not talking about religious reasons like pray to jesus I already do that and it kind of doesn't tell me anything to be honest) I find that I'm overly critical about people when I don't mean to be. I don't want to be it just happens.

I like to think I'm a good, moral person but the truth is I don't like about 99.99999% of people but I REALLY really love the other .0000001% Is this normal? Thank you.

Answer 1

I bellieve what your problem is you do not feel good about yourself. Because you view yourself in such a bad way you can not help but to view other people in a bad way because like the saying goes misery loves company. Just become content with yourself and first start searching for the good in yourself and that would be practice to start looking for the good in others.

Answer 2

See the good in your own heart & you will see it it others'.

How? Great question!

1) Acceptence - take people how & where they are. This gets easier to do the farther along you can see that you have come yourself.

2)Switch places - imagine what it might be like to be the other person knowing & feeling what THEY know, not what YOU know (if you can - try) This can be a huge eye-opener - it was for me!

3)Understand that that critical talk your mind is generating causes tightness & tension in your body that make you feel constricted & uptight (as opposed to flowing & friendly) This tension is uncomfortable - the best way to get rid of it is not to create it in the first place.

4)Learn to watch your mind; look what is arising & vanishing amongst your thoughts. Don't be discouraged - it's arising whether you are looking or not. Watch your mind constantly. Eventually you get better at it & you can start to catch unwanted thoughts before they develop, allowing them to pass unchosen & ignored into nothing from whence they came...

5) Develop some kind of daily meditation practice & do it every day without fail. Depth comes with dogged persistence & your efforts will bear results.

6) Love people whether you like them or not. (very difficult because we think these are the same) Love is (amongst other things) a wish for others to be happy. Love has nothing to do with your preferences, inclinations or even beliefs. Try it & see; develop the wish for others happiness & your mind feels better. Develop more of a wish for ALL other people to be happy just as you wish YOURSELF to be happy, & you have got a practice that will help you all your life.

7) Understand that people are only doing what is familiar to them - what they know how to do, what they did before. Alot of maladaptive foolishness cames from simply not understanding what is going on; there is no one to blame. Most of it is sheer unconciousness & bold-faced ignorance. If people understood the consequences of everything they did, the world would be a very different place, my friend!

8)Focus on the NOW moment. The past of 5 minutes ago is already history. Let it go. The only thing that actually exists is the cutting edge of reality; the instant which forever vanishes into the next instant. Place your attention (external or internal) into what is happening in the only time that exists - the present moment. Let the criticism of past events pass away with the past & don't waste mental energy griping about the past actions of others.

I hope that something here will be of help to you. Your question could have been asked by anyone with a glimmer of insight into their own mind. Expand that glimmer & you will understand yourself & those around you better.

Peace,

;-)

Answer 3

Hi! A good place to start becoming less critical of others is with personal humility. Most of us have an overinflated sense of ourselves, and thinking that we shouldn't be inconvenienced, irritated by others, etc.

We're all trying to do the best that we can, some more skillfully than others. Humility means knowing yourself and realizing that we have faults too. We're not above criticism from others.

Maybe you know the saying, before taking the splinter out of someone else's eye, take the log out of your own? It's a good saying! One way to cultivate humility is to forgive people who irritate you and to wish them well, even if you don't feel like doing it.

I hope this helps!

Answer 4

I just try to remember that there is always more to the people I deal with on a daily basis than what they present publicly. I just try to take in to consideration all factors. How the person may have been raised, what they have been through growing up, what is their circumstances now, what may cause them to act cranky, hateful, overly freindly, or promiscuous?etc.etc... And then just also remember that I am not the ultimate judge, Not everyone thinks like me and sees the world as I see it. I am just one tiny little ripple in the pool...oh, I dunno, you have given me something to think on, but maybe this will give you a little to think about too.

Answer 5

I find myself naturally adverse to new people. Part of it is an instinctive aspect of having someone invade my space at work or home or threatening my ways. I have found that by keeping my mouth shut about such things tends to keep me on the good side of those people, who then teat me nicely and I become closer to them...and sometimes even good friends.

Patience.

Answer 6

We see the good in others by recognizing that each person is a unique creation and therefore looking to find the unique special gift that God granted them with out trying to compare them to others or ourselves.