I am a very loving and caring person, its always been a joy in my life to give out hugs and show my friends and loved ones that i love them... my boyfriend is extreamely jealous, but im not sure what i should do... should i be willing to sacrifice, should i give him a taste of his own medicine, or should i just deny what he asks of me...??? im really confused cause he thinks its just the way love works, and jealousy is a part of him n i should respect him, and i dont want to hurt him cause i would hate that, but i think if i accept, a light inside me will dim out....
2006-11-25 13:38:45 · 33 answers · asked by Ooo 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Dump him before it's too late.
2006-11-25 13:40:19 · answer #1 · answered by S K 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
First Jealousy is infantile, usually the person that is jealous has little self esteem, doubts them self, or is a control freak or in this case immature. Look he is not your husband, your not engaged no one owns you. You have relatives and friends you will hug on occasion, so tell him to grow up. It is not cute being a possessive jerk and even a marriage license does not say owner on it.
If he cares he also trusts you, and should until he is shown something differently, than and only than does he have the right to request you not hug, and it is still up to you.
2006-11-25 13:47:48 · answer #2 · answered by John E 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he has a problem with insecurity, therefore he wants to control you. It isn't easy, when one is young to see and understand these things as they are when you get older. When you are in a relationship with someone they should be a partner and your biggest cheerleader. Freedom of expression for each partner should be high on your list of priorities when seeking a mate. Don't settle for less than you deserve. If you do, you will regret it down the line if things become more serious between you and your partner. Knowing where to draw the line on infringement upon personal liberty is something you need to get straight from the beginning. If he is unwilling to trust you to be only with him, and not impose his will upon your personal expression, it would probably be best to end the relationship before it goes any further. Nobody likes living with a tyrant. If you don't learn to stand up for yourself, it may get worse. He needs to know what his boundaries are, and the consequences of stepping over them.
Good luck
2006-11-25 13:58:13 · answer #3 · answered by Slimsmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends, how long you have been together. My partner excepts that I am fond of my best mate (we have had loads of chances to be in a relationship but that is not what we want) my mate lives miles from us and I now only get to see him once every 3 years, we text alot and when we see each other we hug for ages, kiss each others cheek, hold hands. yes I love my mate but I love my partner more and I am in love with my partner. I hug a couple of other mates, 1 who I see a few times a week but we no longer hug as he has just got married and a female friend of mine I see every other week, we have known each other for years.
My partner also hugs other people and I am not jealous and neither is he towards my friends, that would be crazy.
I never send my male friends texts which they could take wrong, I never flirt with anybody (my choice) I would never do anything behind my partners back that I would never do in front of him.
I believe treat people how you would like to be treated.
2006-11-25 13:48:59 · answer #4 · answered by jizzi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if this is a healthy relationship then I think your boyfriend knows something about touch and the way men think that you don't. Touch of any kind has an effect on men when received from a woman. It can stimulate things within them that do not stimulate things in you. So on that note I would listen to him. HOWEVER, if this is stemming from jealousy then it is best to just get out of this relationship altogether because jealousy is rooted in his own best interests and not yours. Good luck to you!
2006-11-25 13:48:46 · answer #5 · answered by jewels 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I doubt if he will ever change so if you think you can live with not hugging any guy friends anymore then make the sacrifice.
But judging from your wording I think you know his request is wrong. You could sit him down and talk with him about how you feel. If he insists that you never touch another guy I think you might want to rethink this relationship.
2006-11-25 13:47:04 · answer #6 · answered by theoriginalquestmaker 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What! dont let your man control your life....tell him that you have friends to and just because you are huging one of your guy friends doesnt mean that you like your boyfriend any less...if you really like him dont call things off right now but if your dating him just for the sake of dating someone the cut him off.....you deserve better....if your with your guy and one of your guy friends hugs you and talks to you then once he leaves you should hold your guy close and show him by actions that he is the only man for you..I hope everything works out!
2006-11-25 13:45:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am the same type of person that you are, but once I am a relationship with someone, all the hugging with other people stops. Except for family members. He shouldn't even have to ask you to do this, this should be auto-matic for you to not want to do that if you love him. BUT he should not being doing it either.
2006-11-25 14:39:07 · answer #8 · answered by SapphireB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is a nutcase....but you know that. Tell him that you will do as you darnwell see fit and if he doesnt like it too bad. Why would he want to change who you are? Next he will be telling you that you cant even look at a male and you have to keep your eyes on the ground and walk 3 steps behind him. Lose him now while you can.
2006-11-25 13:43:54 · answer #9 · answered by dragonrider707 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ditch the guy! He sounds jealous and insecure. And those guys don't usually change! Don't try to give him a "taste of his own medicine". Usually that backfires, b/c they don't learn from it. And it just makes your situation worse. Dump him - b/c he is controlling and sometimes that leads to abuse. No guy is worth that much!
2006-11-25 13:45:01 · answer #10 · answered by MandyHawk 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do not allow anyone to change who you are. You are not having sex with these people, you are hugging....This man is controlling. Get out before it is too late. THIS IS NOT THE WAY LOVE WORKS. Respect is earned not demanded
2006-11-25 13:42:24 · answer #11 · answered by Emme 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋