Am I disrespecting my paents when I allow my teenage children to "date" or be involved wtih black people?

Question

I was raised to stay in my race when it comes to being romantically interested in a guy. My parents, and their parents, etc., are firmly against going outside of the causasian race. I believe, as a parent, that I cannot be prejudiced and I allow my teenagers to make their own choice in this matter. My mom told me that if my kids were to eventually marry a black person, then my dad would not put them in his will.

Answer 1

teach your children what is right. all people are created equal. if your parents are"themselves" let them be. is a will more important than your children's happiness? if money is important, start saving and leave a will for your children. there is no reason that you or your children have to live double lives to appease their grandparents. i hope you figure it out. good luck.

Answer 2

When people fall in love race should not matter
that is my opinion because no race is better than the other
we are all human
but some people think if black & white people marry & have kids
the kids suffer because they get called nasty names etc so it's easier to stick with your own race
And no you aren't disrespecting your Parents they are disrespecting you really by trying to control how you bring up your children

Answer 3

Karen, being a parent is the hardest job. I wish kids came with instructions. You have got to ask yourself this...what's more important to you-your parents respect or your children's. My son has long hair, my parents hate it, but am I going to make him cut it-no. I let my daughter dye her hair all different colors, she's a 4.0 college student.

I have raised my children differently from my parents. Some of the things they taught me as a child I taught my own kids. Others they insisted up-no way. It's a whole new world then it was when our parents and grandparents were raising children. Couples, who were of mixed races were looked down upon, and the children were horribly treated. I am afraid there are still parts of the world that feel this way, but it's more accepting now.

What would your father do if one of your kids were gay? We can't always please our families, and I know in my heart if one of my children came home with a person of a different race I would try to be accepting and make that person feel part of my family, because the one I love-loves them. Your Father has every right to leave his "property" to whoever he wants or not to leave it to whoever.

You are right to allow your teenagers to make their own choices, and I am doing the same. I have a cousin who married a black man after suffering from abusive husband for nearly 20 years, some of the family won't accept this kind and gentle man just because of his skin color. I love him because he treats her with love and respect and he's put a smile on her face everyday. I thank God for him everyday because he's a treasure. I don't look at his color I look at his heart.

If Dad doesn't want to his goods to one of his precious grandchildren because they don't look at the color of a person's skin-then I don't think they are going to miss anything. Let Grandpa be lonely, because he's going to miss out on being part of their lives. You keep up the good work Mom, and I hope that your family if this does come about will look at the person's heart not their skin color.

God bless us all...............

Answer 4

no. you are not disrespecting them. you are just respecting yourself and your values, plus your daughter's heart. everyone is racist to a certain extent, and that's not necessarily a bad thing, but too much of it CAN do things like these threats that your parents have on your children. you should go on with your life the way you would like. because as far as you are concerned, as long as your kids arent into drugs, alcohol, or dangerous things, then you should be happy for them, and so should your parents. if she falls for a man out of your race, theres nothing you or your parents can do about it. also, if your kids arent swearing at your parents, or being rude to them, there is no way that you should stop them from being with someone they care about it. your parents just have ideals that cannot be changed. you, however, are the next generation, and if you permit this relationship, think about what you are doing for the rest of your family line to come. if you dont instill a different opinion of the interracial marriage idea, someone will, later on, and be stuck in the same situation as you. do it for your children.

Answer 5

Your feeling that you must allow your teens to make the descision on thier own is admirable in context with your parents. They were raised during a different time where it was generally considered taboo to have an interracial relationship, and they have thier own opinions on it, but they had their chance to influence YOU, I would not suggest letting them control your children. Depending on where you are living it might be prudent to consider the upbringing and family life of ANY person that your child brings home. Your mother may or may not be bluffing you when she threatens you with exemption from their will, and as a mature adult it is your responsiblility to use your judgment and not let something as material as that get in the way of what might be love. It is your responsibility to make sure that they are seeing the right people who will help them to grow, regardless of race.

Answer 6

Just because your parents are like that doesn't mean you should be. They grew up when that was the "law" it's not anymore, the civil rights movement is over,its the 21 century. Don't teach your kids to be pregiduse. And if your parents don't put your kids in there will, thats there problem! You are the one raising you kids, not them! They are disrespecting you by not allowing you to make the decision of who your kids can and can't date!

Answer 7

I'm mixed and my moms parents where just as dumb as your parents but she did the right thing and didn't let the fact her parents would not put me and my brothers in his will. we would have got a hell of a lot of money too but, she did her own thing and didn't let the fact that they where wrong by being prejudiced and u can dress this up any way u want but if u have to ask then ur being prejudiced so get over it or move to a KKK colony.

Answer 8

Your parents had the right to raise you any way they choose and you can raise your children any way you chose. You are a good Mom to allow your children to chose who they will or will not date where race is concerned. Tell your parents to keep their money your children's happiness is more important than money. I would never tell any of my children who to be with, they are all strong willed adults and I know they would cut me out of their lives if I tried to run them, but more important they have good judgment and wouldn't settle for someone no matter the race that would ever hurt them in any way. Tell your Mom you'd rather your child be with a poor black person (or what ever race) that treats them good than be with a white person loaded with money that abused them (in any way) or cheated on them.

Answer 9

In spite of all the answers you already have gotten that says you are prejudice I would like to say forget about it.The one thing that you should be worried about is your kids well being.I wouldn't want my kids dating or marrying outside their race simply because its wrong.In big cities you see it all the time but if you live in a small community like I do it is looked down on as being dirty and low class.Look at many of the kids that are born to mixed couples and see how they look and react to society.Now look at how society looks and treats them.Its not the kids fault but society has a way of pushing them aside.My personal feelings would be to encourage my kids to date inside there race and think ahead as to the well being of theirselves and their kids when they have them.Its unfair to bring a child into this world only to have them deal with the crap that their parents left them with.Its also disrespectfull to the family when special occasions arise.Its would be very uncomfortable haveing a mixed gathering at the parents or grandparents house during the holidays or for a simple dinner.This is not being selfish or prejudice its being honest and being a good parent with high moral standards.

Answer 10

Dear karen W:
It has to do with the way I was raised. For I have never seen skin tone. If you are attracted to a person and have strong feelings toward them then you should try. I would strongly encourage you to talk to your children about the difficulties they may face with dating someone of another race. As far as your parents go they are totally in the wrong as far as their attitude goes. Good Luck.

Answer 11

I was in the same boat with you earlier in life. I wanted to date other race but my own and my family never accepted anything but their own kind. I eventually knocked some sense into most of my family members by stating that it is not the color of the person's skin or their religion it is who they are. Their character,personality and they way they are.

My husband is mixed and everyone loves him.

Try and talk to your parents one on one about the situation. And let your kids marry someone that treats them right. I know you don't want you kids to marry the same race and be miserable.