Okay, so my best friend and I have been best friends since 5th grade (now in tenth). I was talking to her, and she kept blowing me off. Finally I got her to talk to me and she freaked out at me telling me how I wasnt a good enough friend...and how she didnt trust me. She said that her real best friends came over to her house anytime she needed.
The thing is that she just had a surgery....and alot of people where over at her house alot....My parents said no...and after like 40 minutes of tears and begging....I got them to let me go over for 10 minutes to give her some stuff to do and see how she was doing. Now she and all of her "best frends" are angry at me.
What should I do? Am i wrong to think she shouldnt be mad at me becausemy parents are REALLY strict and wont let me go over to her house 24-7? How can I fix this? Ahhhh Help please
2006-11-25 13:11:23 · 18 answers · asked by as 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
She also said her moms friend was diagnosed with cancer, and that I wasnt being supportive enough? How was I supposed to know if she didnt tell me? And she said I dont help her with her problems enough or wen shes sad...but how can i help if she wont tell me how she feels???/??
2006-11-25 13:13:04 · update #1
ok wow...i personally thing ur friend is a little bit to needy...she needs to realize that ur parents are your parents and they may have different rules...soon...shell probable stop being mad at you and be mad at ur parents and say that they hate her..ive been there...u need to write her a nice long letter explaining that u really do live her ( in the friend way..duh) and tell her that you just cant get over there...and that ur parents wont let you...help her out as much as you can over the phone and dont get so upset at the fact that shes mad at u...kill her with kindness...make her feel like you really do care...but as soon as she starts getting mad at ur parents you need to set her straight and tell her that...u really do care about her but if she doesnt knock it off shes going to lose a really good friend...in in 10th grade too...and ik that people get so dramatic around this time...so just give her time to get over herself...not trying to be harsh but...oh well you can IM me or e-mail me whenever you want (tteotw_thl_ilu@yahoo.com)
2006-11-25 13:36:49 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
talk with her...if you've been friends for so long don't throw it away yet.
She may be having a difficult time, maybe herself or her family especially if someone close has cancer.
Call her right away and have a friendly converstaion, start by telling her you don't want to fight and then ask her what happened to make her feel this way. Now for the most important part...really listen to her even if you don't agree she may have perceived a change in your friendship, so listen then talk about how you can change this to make it better. You can tell her that you can't always be there because your parents are strict, tell her exactly how you feel, but do it nicely. Have that bonding moment and work this out. I've had friends all my life and we've had our difference but always worked them out...even when they seemed huge!
2006-11-25 13:18:21 · answer #2 · answered by bheithcao 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you're friend needs to understand your situation more. i remember i was like her before. i feel like i needed my bestfriend 24/7 and that she's supposed to have some kind of MIND READING ABILITY to know that i need her, that i have a problem or something without having to tell her. but the fact is, we have to tell each other everything, for them to be able to reach out and help. maybe somewhere in the future, you'll be able to sense when something is wrong without her telling you, but not right now. Tell her, that if she needs a shoulder to cry on, or someone to walk side by side with her, and to listen to her and so on, she'll always have yours. there are just some external forces that you can't have any control over like your parents. If she really is a friend to you, she'd understand your situation, if she still doesn't, then i don't know what else. this happened to me, ages ago, :) i tend to forget how my bestfriend reacted when i was so immature. goodluck with you and your friend.
2006-11-25 13:19:57 · answer #3 · answered by erise1013 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First She should understand that your parents are really strict! NO! your not wrong she shouldn't be mad at you!!! Friends come and go! Few won't be in your life forever TRUST ME! Eventually she will realize that you were her best friend! Long as you came for at less 10 minutes she should be happy cause it's the thought that matters!
2006-11-25 13:19:13 · answer #4 · answered by ~GiGGLES~ 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just because your not over there every minute that makes you not a good friend. O.K. she has the problem maybe it is because she just had surgery. she could feel like she in jail, with little freedom. You must listen to your parent no matter how much you want to rebel. I feel like she owe's you an apology. she disrespected you when she said that,"her real friends came over anytime she needed. ask her where were they five years ago. she needs to grow up, stop trying to control you and respect you and your parent to the fullest.
2006-11-25 13:23:01 · answer #5 · answered by Nicole M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Explain to your friend that you have extenuating circumstances. If she is really the "friend" as she understands the definition, she will get over it, if not then she doesn't practice what she preaches and you should move on. Real friends don't let silly s--t come between them or get over concerned about percieved slights. Talk it out.
by the way, you friend should know that your parents are strict.
2006-11-25 13:57:52 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
To me it seems like she is trying to find excuses not to be your friend. Obviously this stuck up chick thinks the world revolves around her and she thinks no one else has their issues. Maybe this new group of friends she has doesnt like you or doesnt think your good enough for them. I think you should just drop her. She isnt a friend just because you have known her for this long doesnt mean she was a true friend if she just drops you like a dime. Trust me i have been there and done that
2006-11-25 13:23:43 · answer #7 · answered by DrakeE 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just give your friend time to come around.sometimes a friend will have so much that they are dealing with that they don't know how to tell someone else that they are hurting.she is dealing with alot.jsut tell her how you feel and hopefully she will come around.if she does not come around than maybe she was not really your best friend at all. good luck and i hope things all turn out the way that is best for you.
2006-11-25 13:17:26 · answer #8 · answered by outlaw_addiction2000 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well seeing is how she wanting the attention the best thing that I would do in your situation is give her the silent treatment too. If shes just asking for like attention because she was sick then that would be the best thing. And your not wrong for thinking she shouldnt be mad. hope this helps
2006-11-25 13:17:05 · answer #9 · answered by Porcel18 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well only true friends don't blame others for not being there 24-7 .
2006-11-25 13:41:08 · answer #10 · answered by HeYyAlL 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋