I have three children from my first marriage. Recently my son moved in to live with me. I have remarried and my spouse has two children and a grandchild. My two daughters from the previous marriage have refused to be part of my life at all. The situation has caused me to suffer from depression. I have literally begged my girls to spend time with me, but they always figure out a way to avoid me. Over the past 3 years my youngest daughter (13) has stayed with me maybe four or five nights. My oldest (16) has only visited my once. I don't think it is fair that I have to support the children financially if they don't want to be part of my life. My wife doesn't have a job and she doesn't receive any support from her ex. My stepdaughter doesn't receive any support from the father of her child and I am stuck paying support to my ex, while myself, my wife, my son, my two stepchildren, and my stepgranddaughter are force to live in poverty. I need to know my rights in this situation.
2006-11-25 12:57:10 · 14 answers · asked by Timothy O 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I know this is not the answer you're going to want, but the reality is that until your children are 18, in some cases 19 if they're still in school, you are obligated to pay support for them. your children not wanting to be in YOUR life is not going to get you out of paying for them. YOU are the parent, it is your job to provide for them whether they choose a relationship with you or not. HOWEVER, your ex wife needs to be making more of an effort to get your children involved in your life. You don't say whether or not there is any type of visitation set up, but if there is, then you have every right to be spending time with them. If you don't have a visitation plan in effect you need to get one asap. I don't know whether or not (legally) you could get out of having to pay support, even if you can you have to go before a judge and get a court order stopping the payments.
2006-11-25 13:04:12 · answer #1 · answered by Mrs. MP 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think your girls' ages have a lot to do with them not wanting to spend time with you. They probably don't see their mother all that much now either. Also I think your depression would only deepen and you could cause unmendable damage to you and your daughters relationships by signing your rights away.
Why is the father of your step-children not paying? Are they still minors? If you are old enough to have a baby you are old enough to get a job... If you are old enough to have a grandbaby you are old enough to have a job, especially if you are living in poverty! Maybe you can try to fix some other areas first before cutting your children off completely.
I know it's tough and I don't know the whole situation, but I just don't think it sounds like you are looking to fix the right problems. Your teenage daughters will come around some day when they are more mature and you will not regret your decision!
Best of luck to you! With everything!
2006-11-26 12:42:22 · answer #2 · answered by Ang 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry that you are having such a difficult time and I apologize for having to answer your question with what you are not wanting to hear.
You cannot terminate your parental rights unless there is a third party (such as the step-father) that is willing to adopt. That does not mean that you will still have to pay support, however. If you have a parenting time order that your ex-wife is not adhering to, you could petition the court and obtain an order terminating your child support order.
I would suggest that you schedule a consultation with a family law attorney. I hope that it works out for you.
Best wishes!
2006-11-25 13:06:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whether or not your children receive anything from you is determined by you and the mother of those children. If she decides that she no longer wants your financial support then thats one thing, but if she needs it, you cannot deny you children of that support even if you dont interact with them. Im sorry but the only choice you have is to take you ex to court and ask the courts to be granted some kind of facilitated visitation.
2006-11-25 13:06:21 · answer #4 · answered by Kim T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes and NO! Depend on the state you live in and the laws, and may have abandment of child abuse on your record! And the state of dept of children and families can make sure that you will never be close to a child!
As your depression, any child can refuse to be around the parent who suffers depression due to fear of child abuse!
Teenagers are kids who does not want to be around their parents anyway, and you can't force them to spend time with them. It just the stage that they are in , and it is no parent fault, just part of being a teenager!
Do you remember being a kid your self and did not want dad or mom hanging out with you because it is not cool with your peers!
2006-11-25 13:14:34 · answer #5 · answered by ourjacobdavid 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, child support has nothing to do with any part of the relationship except that you are a parent. The law is concerned with their financial well being. It is part of the responsibility that you assumed at the time of their conception.
2006-11-25 13:03:56 · answer #6 · answered by Ranger473 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't know what state your in, but where I'm at, you can give up your rights to your children but you're still responsible for child support until someone steps in (i.e...your ex gets remarried, and her husband adopts your children) otherwise you'll still have to pay out money
2006-11-25 13:02:09 · answer #7 · answered by Lady blah blah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. Your wife needs to get a job, and go thru the courts for support on HER kids.
2. Your stepdaughter needs to get a job and go thru the courts for support on HER kids.
3. You need to step up to the plate and PAY YOUR CHILD SUPPORT. ( and quit whining about it )
Your "rights" are: you don't go to JAIL by paying YOUR child support.
4. EVERY non-custodial parent is obligated in all 50 states to pay their court-ordered child supoort until the kids reach legal age; even if the kids don't want anything to do with that parent.
Sorry bub, but you should have known; "when you PLAY, you pay !" And that goes for females, too. Those kids didn't ASK to be born....they will be your responsibility until they are of legal age.
2006-11-25 13:06:01 · answer #8 · answered by madamspinner2 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
My kids didn't want anything to do with their dad either, but there was a visitation set up for him to see them and they went, that is until he got behind in child support and they took his visitation rights away from him. My kids were very happy for that day to come. My x was a real .......... well you get the point. I'm not saying that is why your kids don't want to be around you. But you do need to see if you can talk to them and maybe they will tell you why they don't want to be around you.
If you don't have visitation set up with the courts yet from your divorce, why? You want to see your kids on a regular bases, take her to court.
Now as far as your step kids dad not paying his support...that is your new wife's fault. She needs to take him to court to get the support for her kids. He is what we call a "dead beat dad". Do you want that title too? Pay your child support and you won't be labeled that.
2006-11-25 14:11:51 · answer #9 · answered by SapphireB 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Unfortunately your paragraph does not contain "all" of the details that were a factor in the decision your daughters have made.. Children do not wake up one day and decide to excommunicate themselves from a parent. You need to find a resolution to the problem, that's your responsibility.... Will you overcome or be overcome!
2006-11-25 13:09:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋