I called my friend to talk to her about a guy one day...like girlfriends do. After about 10 minutes, she gets an attitude and asks, with a laugh, how much longer I would go on. (Strike 1) Another time, I called to ask her opinion about something, and she proceeded to talk to me at length, ignoring my question,(Strike 2) about her problems, asked my opinion, then got annoyed (Strike 3) when I said "I don't know." Her response was "You must have SOME opinion!!" These are only a couple of examples, but this happens often. Now, I'm patient and understanding, but it's getting old with her expecting me to listen to and be helpful with her MARITAL problems (I've never been married, so what do I know, but I try to help), but when it comes to my DATING issues, she doesn't have the time. How can I confront her about this?
2006-11-25 12:48:31 · 16 answers · asked by Alishia 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
One of the things that helps when confronting someone is to always use the "I" aspect. Say things like "I Feel" or "I think", this lets your friend know that you're not accusing her of anything, but that you're just voicing how you feel. If you come at her with the attitude of "YOU always make me feel this way" she's not going to listen because she's going to feel like you are attacking her. Aside from that I would just tell her how you feel, explain to her the examples you gave us, and also remember to give her a chance to explain her side of it. Sometimes people don't realize they are acting a certain way, or hurting someone's feelings. If you try talking to her and it doesn't help, you might just have to avoid talking to her for a bit.
2006-11-25 12:52:35 · answer #1 · answered by Mrs. MP 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
One day when she's talking about her problems to you, you do the same to her. I mean I have a friend like that, always want to tell you their problems but wont listen to yours. What I did was doing the same thing she has done to me, when she tell or ask me about something I just sing or look at the television and when she ask me what should I do, I just say I don't know. But she have the feeling what I'm trying to do, so now everything is cool but shes still doing it but not occasionally.... Just tell her that you don't mind answering her questions or giving her opinions, it just she need to do the same thing.
2006-11-25 21:01:00 · answer #2 · answered by Angel G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Spend less time with her, selfishness should never be rewarded. After a little while start to get close again and you'll both be more curious as to what each other has been doing. If that doesn't help just stop talking altogether.
2006-11-25 20:53:10 · answer #3 · answered by PinoyC 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the next time she asks you about something tell her that you really don't know what to do about her marital problems. you're not a marriage counselor. and if she doesn't even give you the time of day to even listen to your problems, then she isn't a very good friend.
2006-11-25 21:15:03 · answer #4 · answered by cali grl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds to me she may be self indulgent and maybe she isnt getting her needs met and then she cant meet your needs or anyone elses. i would just quit going to her for answers because obviously you arent getting them from her. just keep coming here and asking. or im or e-mail me. i will try tio help as much as i can. at least i can listen to you and let you get it out. maybe later when she is finally more together she will be able to be a better friend. good luck and keep your head up honey ....everything will work out.
2006-11-25 20:55:50 · answer #5 · answered by chrystal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, You should just come out and tell her. She is less likely to be pissed off if you tell her soon. The longer you wait, the madder she will probably become. Don't be rude about it, just let her know how you feel.
2006-11-25 21:00:26 · answer #6 · answered by BabyBoo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her to let you talk for once & that you dont really know how to help with marital issues because you dont have the experience and u dont want to give the wrong advice
2006-11-25 20:52:36 · answer #7 · answered by mclovin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Every [wo]man should have a fair-sized cemetery in which to bury the faults of h[er] friends."
-Henry Brooks Adams
I'd have to say that quote has helped me keep many of friendships I would have thrown away... don't get angry some friends are just not the friends you can talk to about your problems
2006-11-25 20:56:19 · answer #8 · answered by Wolf_Girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when she starts talking about how bad her life is tell her to shut the **** up and listen to u for once dont hold it bac that just makes her stronger she needs to know theres other peeps than her
2006-11-25 20:53:07 · answer #9 · answered by hottiger_spain 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well come out straight with it. dont hold back tell her how u feel. and how she makes u feel. both of u sound alil self absorbed with ur own issues and really like u dont care bout the othas feelings anyways.
2006-11-25 20:52:09 · answer #10 · answered by devil_queen_biatch14 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋