When will this feeling stop??

Question

I have 2 boys and a girl, 7, 3 and 2. But I still have the maternal feeling of having another - but I am worried that I still will want more after my fourth. Is this a normal feeling when you decide you are not having more kids? My partner is content with 3.

Answer 1

i wish i could help but i dont have kids nor do i ever want any

Answer 2

I understand what you mean - I often think how lovely it would be to have another child, but then I come crashing down to earth when I think of how little time I have to myself and how, if I had another child I would have less time to dedicate to the kids I have now, aswell as less money.

Im not complaining, but, with my kids, my partner, my dog, my work and uni, EVERY minute is crucial - I work when my kids are at school, I study when they are in bed, and I also have to fit my partner and my dog in between.

Your maternal feelings are natural and I totally understand that you want what you cant have........I wonder, if your partner wanted another child - you probably would be oppossed to the idea - my best friend is going through the exact same thing - shes not sure, but when she discusses it with her husband he always says NO in no uncertain terms and the more he says no the more she wants one - but she admits that if he actually said yes she isnt even sure if she would want to anyway.

Whenever I get those maternal feelings of how lovely another baby would be (especially as I have 3 boys) I think of the three wonderful kids I have now, and think of how much more I can do for them with my time and money.

Answer 3

I think its great that you have a maternal instinct and you love your kids. If you are financially secure and you can devote your time to them all then go for it. But don't do it at the derement of your relationship, if you Husband/Partner is content with 3 then you have to listen to him also. Tell him your concerns and make a decision together. Hope it all works out xx

Answer 4

It's normal :)..if you really want to have another child make sure your family is financially stable and speak to your partner, just keep telling yourself that this one is the last if you are adament that your don't want another after this one, either one of you could get sterlised and that definately prevent more children, naturally anyway :)

If things don't go your way put your all into the children you have, they are happy and healthy.

You could always foster, that way you kow you are helping another child and since it's not permanent then your partner might be happy enough.

Answer 5

Yes it will come and go. My husband and I decided mutually two was it. He got fixed and so did I. My kids are growing up (14 and 11) and from time to time I get this deep desire to have another child. I think for me it is because my kids are growing away from me and I miss the conenction that you have with a baby and a toddler. Then the dog will throw up in the middle of the night and I will say a prayer that thank God that I do not have to get up and change diapers, etc anymore...........

Answer 6

I had two boys, both healthy and have grown up well. I always wanted a girl but felt two children were enough I count my blessings everyday and love them to bits - love the kiddies you have, its up to you how many you have, I have known people like you who have had seven and eight kids, they don't sponge of the state and they have nice big houses, I say good luck to them, big families are often nicer, you must weigh up the pro's and con's if you can offer a good secure home and can support your family well - then go for it.

Answer 7

That maternal feeling never goes away, I have four son's
aged 48 yrs, 44yrs, 41 yrs and 37 yrs and quite often, I find myself wishing that I could still have another. ( by the way, if I could, I would still want another son )

Answer 8

I understand exactly what you mean which is why when having our third we both agreed it would be best if my hubby had the snip..or we might have gone on for ever!!its harder the more kids you have not love wise just practically ,cars, tables! furniture ,and food -god why don't they sell meals for 5????I didn't want to drive a mini bus so It was the most sensible thing to do..I still get broody from time to time but it was the best thing for our family ! enjoy the ones you've got love them loads and quit while your ahead hon!

Answer 9

please put aside your own feelings to recreate and pay attention to the ones you have.....i just went Christmas shopping and nearly strangled a family of six who thought the store aisle was the luge at the Olympics....I cannot deal with more kids on this planet raised by ignorant parents. I noticed you said partner instaid of husband....more kids will not make him marry you........and why not work on the family you have in order to make it legit before the kids have to explain it in grammar school?...not against kids without at marriage....open minded as they come....but hey you have issues more than another kid to think about! your latest kid is only 2!!!!

Answer 10

i am 41 and almost free! i cannot wait to get my independance back, but even now i cant help feeling that i would love another child, i know in my head that it wont happen, but in my heart i know i have enough love for just one more!

so to answer your question, i dont think it ever goes away, what makes it easier for me is thinking that i can give all my attention to the children i have, and the guilt i would feel firstly to the other kids and secondly to the new and this horrible world i would be bringing them into. i think i would be doing it for me and not the child.... it helps! but i know how you feel!

Answer 11

well alot of women want a big family there is nothing wrong with it i say if you got the patients and can afford it then there is nothing wrong with i come from a long line of big families my grandmother on my dads side had 6,my grandmother on my moms side had 9, my mom had 6, 2 of my aunts on my moms side had 6 and just about all my aunts on my dads had 4. and i my self want a total of 4 and after i do have my 4th im not getting surgery or anything im just going on the pill that way if i want another one the option is still open but i will make sure i know 100% that i am ready and that i can handle it emotionally and physically before i go off the pill. and that we can afford it but if you know a house full of kids wont drive you insane or in to the poor house id say go a head and do as you wish have as many as you want knowing they are and will always be properly taken care of. and dont listen to people like chewychimp what ever as long as you bring those babies in to a family that loves them and cares for them there isnothing wrong with it besides whats wrong with having alot of love and having alot of people in your life to love. i was raised in a big family and i wouldnt trade it at all for a smaller one. i always have someone to talk to when i need or just want to. and holidays getting to gether with all the family is so much fun having lots of brothers and sister aunts uncles cousins my parents and my parents parents whats not to love. and around the holidays money might get a lil tight but dont they usually anways with just 2 kids. i say follow your heart you dont want to be 60 and regretting that you didnt do with your life that you wanted to. be sides not only is there more people for you to love with a bigger family but there are more people who love you in return. and whats wrong with that? i think that if more people came from bigger familys people would me more caring more compationate, more sharing and alot more patient. meaning less road rage less, violence and less hatred in the world. and people would be a little more dependant on them selfs and not so much on there parents and they would know not to expect everything handed to them all the time.