2006-11-25 11:34:28 · 21 answers · asked by Chanele G 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
He's your little brother, so it is understandable that you should be concerned for him. The best way for you to handle it, as everyone here has said, it to let him be himself and love him no matter what. And be sure to let him know that you love him no matter what. If your brother IS gay, he might feel alone and the last thing you'll want is for him to think his family rejects him. If he is gay, he will tell you in his time; but in the mean time you can make some off-handed comments in front of him that drops little hints that you don't "have a problem with gay people". If he knows he can trust you and that you won't reject him, it will be easier for him to come out to you if he is gay and it will help him to have support while he is enduring rejection from society. I can't tell you how many tens of thousands of gay men have disastrously married women for fear that they would be rejected by their family if they found out they were gay. I receive MANY letters from married gay men who can no longer keep up the charade with their wives but fears hurting them by leaving them to be who they truly are. No one should be kept in a prison like that. It is so destructive.
-Rev. Jim Cunningham
www.GayChristianSurvivors.com
2006-11-25 14:47:24 · answer #1 · answered by hmghosthost 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Omg..... I am reading this and tearing. I too am that young. If someone every saw me.... I would get really depressed.... I was called gay at school too. Let him know that the porn he was watching is... Not good for his health. It is addictive. Tell him that masturbating is perfectly normal and that he should close his door in the shower is a good time. I wish i had the support you are giving him. I got it good but not that good. You should be proud of yourself. Yes it will be hard. I would know, but i hold on to the hope that there is a man out there who is going through the same things and will one day meet me. Send him over to chadzboys. Do a google search. In the members section there are some very nice stories that give me hope. And you should advise him not to come out yet. But to your parents is essential. But don't rush him. It took me 3 months and that is REALLY good timing. I guess is that he is not ready for you to know because he is still the stage were he is not recognizing it himself... So he will have a lot of dinail and other problems, he may come to other conclusions far from what is true. And one last part of advice. DO NOT LEAVE HIM ALONE. He may feel suicidal and it is not worth the risk!!!!! And get him some friends his age. It will do him good.
2016-05-23 02:33:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is truely gay- that will never change. I would just be supportive; he is the same kid you've lived with and loved for 13 years. If he is into fashion- buy him some Vogue- they make Men's Vogue these days. Whatever his interests are, treat him just like a brother who liked girls. If he was really into video games, you'd buy him Game Informer or another magazine like that. Being able to connect with an older brother will be one of the best things in his whole life, especially if he is going to go through highschool as a gay boy. I'm not saying you have to do and like the same things he does, just let him know it's ok and you love him.
2006-11-25 11:43:43 · answer #3 · answered by Erin H 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Love him and support him no matter what. What is it that you're afraid of not being able to handle? Are you afraid that people are going to make fun of you because your brother is attracted to guys? That may happen, but the only thing that you can control is your own actions and reactions.
If you love him unconditionally then it shouldn't matter which side of the fence he sits on. If he is gay then he's got enough going on in his head without the added pressure of feeling like he's letting his loved ones down.
As far as I know, the suicide rate of homosexual teenagers is much higher than that of siblings and parents of homosexuals so I think you'll be okay.
2006-11-25 11:55:49 · answer #4 · answered by phxflyguy 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
how do you know ? did you catch him doing what all boys do at this age? lols . most boys bond too the same sex in their teen years ,just like a lot of girls also do . that don't make you gay or a lesbian. young people like too explore their bodies and others .you ever play doctor ? unless you know for sure ,why are you putting yourself in a spot that may end your relationship with him as a sister or friend. ask your doctor about the years of adolescents. or go too the net or library and look up sexuality and the adolescents yrs. don't put a brand on someone you really don't know what his sexuality
2006-11-25 13:01:42 · answer #5 · answered by RUNNINGBARE 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to handle it he can take care of himself. Besides finding out your orientation is a very private thing, when he figures it out he will learn how to deal himself and when he feels ready to tell you listen patiently and understandingly. But in the mean time watch out for suicidal behaviors because low self esteem is often found in gay teens because of their fear of being different and society's pressure to be "normal".
Course I don't feel there is anything weird about gay people.
2006-11-25 11:45:34 · answer #6 · answered by Dee 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He's 13 and he's not even sure if he's gay. Leave him alone and let him find himself. And if you want to be a good sister be there for him if he is or if he isn't gay.
2006-11-25 14:36:18 · answer #7 · answered by Billy FZ1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By talking to him, if he thinks he is then support him in this more teen suicides happen because they feel alone and scared.. acceptance is the Key And why should YOU handle this? it is His life and he was born this way/.. Noone's fault and nothing to do to "change" it. He is Who God intended him to be and you should love him no matter what or who he is ..
2006-11-25 11:45:29 · answer #8 · answered by Daddy James 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How can you know if he's gay when he's only 13? I mean, unless he's already sexually active at that age. If you mean he's feminine in some ways, don't worry about it. Everybody's different. Just support him to be who he is.
2006-11-25 11:39:18 · answer #9 · answered by mj_indigo 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What do you mean how YOU can handle this? HE'S the one who's purportedly gay, right? Just support him and let him know that you love him for being who he is.
2006-11-25 11:36:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋