Me and my wife separated two months ago.She was the one that wanted it. Ever since she told me it was over or she didn't know. She has had another man staying with her the last 3 weeks. Tonight she found out that I was seeing someone else. She starting crying and asked me what I would say to the person I was seeing if we got back together. Up until this happened she has been mean and tonight she told me that she loved me. Thats the first time she told me that in a long time. Do you think I have a chance of working it out with that said. Really I should move on but I might give it a chance. She also said that the grass was not greener it was the same old sh*t. I would like to see us work it out we also have two boys together.
2006-11-25 11:09:43 · 17 answers · asked by William T 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
That's a tough call.
"Fool Me Once, Shame On You. Fool Me Twice, Shame On Me."
Sometimes people realize what they're really giving up when the other person decides to try to move on. The newness of someone else is probably very exciting to her, but at the same time it seems she's afraid to lose you completely.
If you give her another chance, make it only one. If she screws up again call it quits or she will continue to use emotional manipulation to have her cake and eat it too. Don't be a doormat if you decide to try to work things out.
Good luck!
2006-11-25 11:16:33 · answer #1 · answered by Skye 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would never be the one to say "don't work it out". But you two need to set some ground rules and talk this out, not just jump back into the same mess you separated over. She obviously was seeing someone just as you separated. I would not move in with a stranger I have only known for 3-4 weeks. So do the math on that one. Another thing, if you both are serious, you should perhaps seek marriage counseling on some level. Not just for your sake but for the sake of your boys. The main thing is to talk it out. Put the cards on the table and discuss why you separated in the first place to avoid it happening again.
2006-11-25 11:19:34 · answer #2 · answered by LadyJ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is your decision to go back to your wife or not, however, you have to think about what will happen if she really doesn't want you but doesn't want you with anyone else. You do have children together and have to make sure that they are taken care of but that doesn't mean that you have to give up being happy to take care of them. What is to stop the same thing from happening again, has she changed or is it that it is not working with the other guy and you are a quick fix until the another guy comes along.
2006-11-25 11:32:45 · answer #3 · answered by buxomkity 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK maybe it is just a coincidence that the grass isn't greener once you started seeing someone. And divorce is not good fro children, but neither is a revolving door of daddies. Instead of all or nothing, why don't you try couples therapy to open the lines of communication and to see if your wife is willing to make a commitment to making your marriage work.
2006-11-25 11:37:19 · answer #4 · answered by Dee 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
certinly seems as if she has seen the light, and wants u back, apparently it was not greener on the other side,yes definitly give it a go as u have 2 little boy's together, and that matters, just try and figure out what went wrong the first time, and communicate alot, be there for her when she is sad and needs someone, will take some work and alot of giving.
2006-11-25 11:14:42 · answer #5 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, yes I think you should try to work it out. It's amazing sometimes just what it takes to get the attention of someone you love. Don't move on until it's the only option for you. You have two children - and I don't think you should close the door on re-uniting.
Maybe your wife needed the time to realize how much you mean to her.
Good luck!
2006-11-25 12:00:21 · answer #6 · answered by Maggie Mae 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have two children together, I would at least think of what you are doing to the kids first before embarking on your owns needs. Children do get devasted by divorce and sometimes wonder if in the end did they contribute to it. By all means if you are not divorced yet, neither of you should not be living with your lovers.
I think your marriage still stands a chance to be strong.
2006-11-25 11:21:14 · answer #7 · answered by msraylanda 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
work it out!!! she is your wife!! It took 4 her to see the grass truly isnt greener on the other side to realize it wasnt worth losing you, so go ahead & give your marriage another chance~ good luck, best wishes & have a good time making up!!!!
2006-11-25 11:13:43 · answer #8 · answered by kimmiegaddy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should try and work it out. But you need to seek councilling in order to keep the game playing to a minimum and so that you both have equality in the relationship and that you both learn to communicate in a positive way. If you can work out your relationship then that is wonderful, but you have a lot of hard work ahead of you.
Good Luck
2006-11-25 11:38:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps your wife left you because she felt you did not appreciate her or love her. Maybe she wants you to fight for you? Women need to feel special and loved. Look back over your marriage and ask yourself if perhaps your wife did not feel loved. Did you make time for her? Did you do things with her that she wanted to do? Did you take time to just say thank you for making dinner, or doing the dishes, or laundry or one of a million things women do? How do I know this? Well, Ive been there. Im divorced because I did not feel my ex loved me or appreciated me. Yet I'll always love him.
2006-11-25 11:22:35 · answer #10 · answered by kms40719 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋