What if you lost one of your best friends because you were depressed and now they wont talk to you anymore??

Question

And they spread rumours about you but you still like them as a person I am one to believe in good faith so no matter how hurt i am i still care im confused please help

Answer 1

If they are spreading rumors about you and they won't talk to you...that person is NOT your best friend...they're not even a friend. I completely understand good faith in people...however, there's also a need for boundaries. This person obviously does not care about you...because a friend wouldn't do that to you. I know some people have a difficult time understanding depression and they may not know how to help....that's one thing. But to spread rumors about you and not talk to you? That crosses a line. I had this very thing happen to me...someone I *thought* was my best friend did exactly what your "friend" did when I was struggling with depression. It took me awhile, but I finally wisened up to the fact that this person truly wasn't a friend at all...and believing that she was a friend would only put me through more emotional turmoil. Fast forward to today...I am friendly to her when I see her and will make small talk...but I also realize the person she really is. I bear no grudge against her, but I learned from the past and simply realize that I don't need to subject myself to that kind of "friendship abuse."

It's ok to have faith in people. But faith in people doesn't mean you allow yourself to be emotionally abused by people claiming to be your friends. You can be nice to this person while also realizing that perhaps this chapter in your life (your friendship) is over and it's time for the next chapter. And yes, it will hurt for awhile because not only was this person malicious...but it was a person you thought was your best friend. That will take time to heal...but you'll be a better person for doing something about it now instead of hiding from the truth and ignoring what's going on.

Best of luck!

Answer 2

you are a good person. The person spreading rumors is not a best friend, no matter how much you forgive them. A best friend would not drop your friendship and do that. Since you still care for that person as a friend perhaps you could call them and explain what's going on in your life. Give them another chance. Most people would not give them another chance but I have a feeling you would. It might be time to find some new friends. I know that's hard to do when you have depression. I'm there myself. Best of luck to you!!!

Answer 3

Oh my God, I have had that problem too! I was so depressed one time,even suicidal and my friends, although they tried at first, gave up on me and even started spreading rumors that I was going nuts!! When all I needed was some time and some to lean on.
But I still love them. You know why? For the same reason as you. People are human and they react the way they react. When some cannot help someone and they are confused as to what is going on, they don't know how to handle it. And since it is better to say to other person is weak or stupid then admit defeat to being able to help that person, they say what they say. So I forgive my friends for not knowing what to do and how to handle it.
My friends, although critical, were still a support to me, not by what they said, but by their actions. I knew that when I needed them, they would be there and I knew that when I got well, they would be there with open arms.
I hope you get through your depression, but most of all I hope your friends are there for you and you can understand them as well.
Good luck. Seek counseling, that really helped me, although I had to pick myself up to.
I am here for you, if you need me.

Answer 4

Doesn't sound as if that person was a very good friend, if they ditched you just because you were depressed and then they spread rumours about you on top of that! Yes, it hurts when you trust someone and they betray that trust, but once they show they can't be trusted, move on.

Answer 5

If they didn't stick with you through the bad times, then they weren't really a true friend, as painful as it is. I've had that happen many times; people only wanting to be around you during the good times. I say move on and you'll find some real friends that care about you whether you're depressed or not. :)

Feel better!

Answer 6

no offense, but maybe you lost a best friend due to being depressed. Maybe you did not feel like doing anything for a period of time, that your friend got frustrated and decided to let this friendship go. However, real friends wouldn't do that to you. If you are still depressed, leave yourself alone from that person for some time and when you feel better, try reasoning with your friend again. If that doesn't work, maybe he/she wasn't ur real friend.

Answer 7

Well, I lost a few good friends when I tried to kill myself and was really depressed. I have them back now. What happened was they didn't know how to help me so they backed off for awhile until I figured some stuff out and got my depression under control. Maybe your friend is doing the same.

Answer 8

Yeah, it's pretty sad that just when you need your best friend the most they turn away because they do not understand what depression is and they run scared because they don't get that it is a time when you most need to feel cared for. It hurts and yes, you sound like a sensitive soul.

Answer 9

First of all, if you were depressed and they went around spreading rumors about you instead of trying to help you, are you even sure you still want to be them to be your friend? Sounds like you need friends that are more mature, caring, and loyal.

Answer 10

If they were a good, true friend, they wouldnt be spreading rumors about you. If they cant understand and empathize the hard and difficult time you went through, then you're better off without themm- they're not your friend.