do you think if your husband looks at porn on the computer when you not home is cheating? if so how can i handle this problem?
2006-11-25 10:23:49 · 21 answers · asked by lisaslife02 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am very sorry but pornography is wrong. We all know it too. That is why your husband looks at it when you are not around. Deep down he knows that it is disrespectful to you and your family otherwise he would tell you all the details or look at it blantently while you are with him. Disregard the posters ideas that say you should look at it with him. Do two wrongs make a right? Absolutley not. My goodness, what if your child or any child for that matter was to accidently witness what he is veiwing? My advice to you is to catch him in the act. Come home unexpecteldy when he believes you are out. The only way he will understand how veiwing such trash is effecting you, is for him to see the look of disgust and disappointement on your face. It is important though that after you catch him you get him to open up. Ask the hard questions like "Why" and "How long" and "What can I do to help you feel like you don't need to look at porn" etc. etc. I am afraid that your question is all to common today and that is very sad thing. Don't be convinced to conform to all the others who claim that veiwing it okay and not a big deal. It is a big deal. Everyone has heard of marriages ruined and familes broken up over someone addicted to internet porn. Stay strong for you and your husband. You may need to consider alternative interventions if his naughty behavior does not end after your talk/discussion.
2006-11-25 10:53:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You point out that he is doing this while you are not home. Did he tell you he was doing this or did you discover it for yourself? If he is doing this in secret, you may have a serious problem. The thing about pornography that can be destructive to a relationship is the stimulation. It has the potential to heighten the base level of stimulation. This could cause your partner to be unable to perform sexually wth only you for stimulus. He may require more than you could give him. Could lead to greater problems.
And yes, I think it is cheating. Get him some help and change your internet password! Good luck.
2006-11-25 20:51:33 · answer #2 · answered by Beth B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be honest l haven't really thought about it. Why does it make a difference if you are home or not ? Watching porn is watching porn regardless of who's around isn't it ? No l don't think l would classify it as cheating, however Dr Phil does, so not really sure. I guess if l caught my husband watching it, l would worry about it then.
2006-11-25 18:42:27 · answer #3 · answered by kazzadanni 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If I suspected my husband of doing either of those things, I'd come right out and ask him. Most times if they are, they're certainly not going to admit it to you. I think more men do this and won't admit it and are maybe ashamed that they do it. The porn I think he could get over, but I couldn't get over the cheating. Without trust, you have nothing.
2006-11-25 18:43:09 · answer #4 · answered by Leaving on a jetplane 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not necessarily. He may not have the COURAGE to let you know what he likes or enjoys looking at. I have the same problem. I assume he thinks I would be mad if I knew he was looking at porn every chance he gets on here. It is a personal choice. I think it could be fun if both of you enjoyed it together. I know it would make me happier. But NOOOOO!!! How to handle it.....just ask.
2006-11-25 18:30:56 · answer #5 · answered by c_my_blueeyes 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
what do you think?
if you have a problem with it, then talk to him as nice as you can..
people have different opinions with regard to porn, I'd say if it interferes with your married life it is a problem, I would not consider it cheating, I believe cheating is a actual physical interaction between two adults
2006-11-25 18:47:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think that is ok, my husband does watch porn in the computer I just dont mind it. You have to understand also that men are visual type of people. As long as he is not doing it with somebody else
2006-11-25 18:25:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋
No, I don't think it's cheating. It's a fantasy to them. As long as I'm his reality, I don't have a problem with it. And, it' could be worse...he could be going after the real thing outside the home.
2006-11-25 18:33:03 · answer #8 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I've been down that road. If he shows no other signs of cheating, then I wouldn't worry about the internet porn. If it still bothers you, then talk to him about it, or offer to watch it with him to spice up the sex life!
2006-11-25 18:31:18 · answer #9 · answered by Shawna C 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
No, i don't think it's cheating, at least he's just looking & not touching...guys just like looking at naked chicks, it's their nature..don't be too offended..If he starts to do it daily or begins to interfere with his life, then he may have a serious problem..either way, it's nothing that you've done wrong...he's just a man..Talk to him about it, if it really makes you uncomfortable, then he needs to cut it out..
2006-11-25 18:47:48 · answer #10 · answered by snowflake 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋