I’m together with my fiancé that I really care for. I made a promise to stay with her because I thought it would work. Unfortunately, now I know it won’t. She’s lazy, doesn’t drive, doesn’t work, not independent, and has anxiety problems. Worse, my entire family doesn’t want me to continue the relationship, so I know it’s best to end it. She’s going to take the breakup extremely hard. She has fallen deeply I love for me and thinks I’m the only one for her. A long time ago, I told her the relationship might not work and she tried to kill herself. How should I break up with her so she’s least hurt?
2006-11-25 10:03:45 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First off you are doing the right thing. If you know it's not going to work you have to end it, the sooner the better. You can't stay in relationship because you are worried about the emotional health of the other person, it's really unhealthy and unfair to both of you. You can't lessen the hurt. The best thing to do is get right to the point and be strong and stay consistent in your message. It's like a bandaid, just rip it off don't draw it out. You obviously care for her and will be tempted to be drawn back in trying to help her. Keep in mind you can’t help her through the breakup, you most likely will only make it worse. She needs to find emotional support from sources other then you. Make sure she has as much of her support network around as possible, call her friends or family and let them know she needs them right now. You are going to be walking a difficult line between not being cruel and abandoning her and making sure you’re not being pulled back in. Stay strong, try to be as objective as possible and not react emotionally and remember to bring in her friends and family as much as possible to help. You’ll get through it and be better off in the long run. Good luck.
2006-11-25 10:17:51 · answer #1 · answered by tiqcy99 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's no "good" way to do it, but prolonging it will only hurt her more. If she's a danger to herself, she needs help. There's also the possibility that she's severely depressed and she can't cope with the outside world. About 3 years ago, I went through something like that, and ended up having to commit myself to a local mental health facility for a couple of weeks. My marriage nearly fell apart, and it was a long time before we were "okay" again, but all is well now.
If your fiancee has a similar problem, the first thing she needs to do is admit there's a problem and get help. Find out if this is the case before you break it off. There may be a really great person inside her that just needs help to surface.
2006-11-25 10:14:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
talk over with a counselor and encourage her to do a similar (consistent with hazard couples counseling in the beginning up) in case you're in medical care you are able to tell her which you're feeling the could have some on my own time to finally finally end up until eventually now you dedicate to a existence and a family individuals - you're able to understand you and because she cares for you as much as you look after her you realize she'll understand and supply you the area you decide on. inspire her to bypass decrease back to college or get right into a application to help herself if she gets all drama on you. in case you attend church your paster/priest would be a powerful source and would help ease the separation. additionally if she particularly is a hazard to herself you are able to touch social centers and that they can advise a suicide watch. solid luck!
2016-10-04 08:54:30 · answer #3 · answered by haslinger 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is obviously very comfortable where she is at. She may using suicide as a tool to get you to stay with her. If so, that is just wrong. I would go away and disappear quietly. This gal needs to be taking herself and not depending on you. She is co-dependent on you. There is no easy way to brreak-up with someone and it not hurt--she will be just fine and if she threatens suicide--brother that's her choice by her own hand--not yours.
2006-11-25 10:16:01 · answer #4 · answered by smeezleme 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get yourself out of that relationship. You are not her social worker. Let as many people in her sphere of influence know that you are going to do it and when. Then her friends or family or whoever can be there to console her. Good luck.
2006-11-25 10:08:07 · answer #5 · answered by cybermedical 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you don't love her, break up and let her family members and friends know so that they can help take care of her. She also needs professional help with depression and anxiety.
2006-11-25 10:08:58 · answer #6 · answered by pinniethewooh 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The harsh truth is: I don't think you should break up with her... at least not yet, anyway. She may not be the one for you, but if this is going to lead to suicide, there's got to be other options. Maybe you could break up with her at the same time you introduce her to another wonderful sweetie.
2006-11-25 10:07:36 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Since she has anxiety problems, then she must be seeing a doctor, well you may have to tell her doctor. And you have to be honest with her. and tell her, that it is just not working out. and it has nothing to do with her, it is me! I need to move on with my life. And I want you to just go on with your life, and wish her well! See if you can talk to her Mother, or family member, and tell them that they need to watch her!
2006-11-25 10:18:59 · answer #8 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Make it quick, sever all ties with her and her family. Basically you should just disappear after you tell her.
2006-11-25 10:35:57 · answer #9 · answered by That Guy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just leave her, if she shows signs that shes suicidal inform her ahead that you will not be there during her funeral.lol !
2006-11-25 10:06:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋