This girl say not to bother her on her away message because she is in a bad mood. I decided not to pay attention to it and ask what was wrong. I talked to her over AIM and she was really really upset and she told me what happened. This girl and I arent really friends more on the border of friends and aquaintenence. I was totally unrelated to the problem but I think that she got it out and felt better. Should I "help" her again like that or follow her away message?
2006-11-25 09:32:14 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
One of the things that I've learned in my travels is this: when a man says, "I don't want to talk about it," it usually means, "I don't want to talk about it." When a woman says, "I don't want to talk about it," it usually means, "Do you care enough to keep asking until I tell you?" This is not true of all women, but it is true of a large majority of the ones I've met. So you probably did the right thing here. But if she "got it out and felt better," don't keep after her about the same issue. And don't assume that what was the right thing here will be the right thing with someone else, because it might not be.
2006-11-25 09:37:27 · answer #1 · answered by D'archangel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she is seeking attention with her away message, she wants someone to take an interest. It was good of you to be a sounding board for her, but whether you do it again is up to you & how it made you feel. The fact that you are on here asking says that you felt uncomfortable about it, but it maybe the thing that tips you from an aquaintence into a friend.
2006-11-25 17:36:47 · answer #2 · answered by girls_lie_too_23 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she was willing to talk to you even with that away message up maybe she really did want someone to talk to and if it helped her and made her feel better than why not help her again? you sound like you are a good friend.
2006-11-25 17:35:52 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you are building a friend ship, you reached out to her, and she excepted you. I would continue with little things, but if you ask more than once and she wants to be left alone then just tell her if she wants to talk any time, you are a good listener and will be there for her.
2006-11-25 17:36:53 · answer #4 · answered by chickeyis 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Many times people try to push other people away when what they really need and want is somebody to care enough to talk to them. The people might actually believe they want to be left alone--it is a defense mechanism.
2006-11-25 17:35:16 · answer #5 · answered by sixgun 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You were a good friend to worry about her, but I would say that you should save the "helping" for when it seems really bad.
If you constantly ignore her request to be left alone she will come
to resent you for it.
2006-11-25 17:34:22 · answer #6 · answered by Trish 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just say to her "are u ok?" and if she doesnt im u back then say "well if u need advice or want to talk or something im me cause ill be here" or something like that then leave it alone. if she doesnt reply then obviously she either doesn't wanna talk to you, is mad at you, or just needs to be alone. Sometimes girls just need to get their feelings out by being alone and stuff. trust me. i would know. i am one. lol
2006-11-25 17:43:24 · answer #7 · answered by Chocolate lover 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, maybe you guys could end up being closer friends and may decide that you guys like each others personalities. so yeah, ask her again.
2006-11-25 17:35:04 · answer #8 · answered by seksy4life 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would say if you have the time and the ability to sit there and listen and giver her advice then just tell her "i'm here if you need me" and leave it at that.. if she wants to get it out she will IM you back, if not then at least you tried..
2006-11-25 17:34:53 · answer #9 · answered by ~broken~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
girls never really want to be left alone. but dont be heavy about it.
she probably needs someone to talk to. let her talk it out if you think it helps. you dont always need to understant. just listen
2006-11-25 17:35:05 · answer #10 · answered by imboard2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋