Troubles with my partner?

Question

He quit his job on friday after getting mad with one of his colleagues, he stormed out of work after yelling at her. I understand why he would get so upset cos they are quite nasty to him at his work, but im worried about our finances.
I dont earn alot of money in my job, and i wont be able to support us both. We really need both incomes in our home. I am scared because we have been snapping at each other since friday. He has been really on edge.
I hate my job, it gets me really depressed, but i would never just say "i quit" and leave. Im currently looking for new jobs, but now i feel like i have to put this on hold, until he sorts himself out with a new job. We need the stability of my income.
My question is, am I being selfish for being upset that he just walked out of his job? Am I being selfish because I am upset that i cant try and get a new job now? Or is he being selfish for not thinking of the consiquences?

He is also really addicted to computer games, am I over reacting when i worry that he will just fall into a pattern of playing world of warcraft all day and not look for a new job.

Answer 1

You have a right to be upset with him since things are no longer "just about you" or "just about me". Marriage means decisions effect both of you. You're also allowed to be upset that you can't get a job that might be better for you until after this is settled.
He should have been more patient or at least come home and discussed it with you before he quit. Leaving like that and losing that source of income jeopardizes you both. This is something he should have considered. On one hand, you want to be happy in your job and you want to have coworkers that appreciate you BUT, you also need to have a job before you leave one.
As for being selfish- you both are to an extent. Its not something to be completely ashamed of- just because you're married doesn't mean you can't think about you...it just means you have to keep you both in consideration.
Whatever you do, the best thing to do right now is just to be supportive of him. Let him know that it upset you that he didn't talk with you about it first but, don't place blame and don't discard the fact that maybe he really couldn't stay any longer. Good luck

Answer 2

I hope you have a good relationship with him because what I am about to say will definitly involve the both of you. First, yes his action of walking off the job was selfish knowing his famaily relied on his income ( this was immature ) Maturity says if you need the money keep working while looking for another job, or secure other income ( two jobs ) before leaving one. Next, if video games dominate his time more than working hard to find another job then this also is immature. Finally, I understand your anger because of the situation, but continuing to be angry will not solve the problem, you both need to sit down and discuss this like adults ( even if it hurts ) You are both in this together, and you both should be able to come up with aplan of action to address the financial issues you face. If you can not do this once again this is immaturity raising its head again. I believe you both will be mature adults and help each other get through this. Love each other , support each other , and use what resources you have to get employment for him. Also, remember that when he gains employment, make sure you discuss getting you out of your dead end job and into a better work environment with higher wages. Let me know how things go. Metoo

Answer 3

Sounds like he needs a reality check on life.. Yes, you should be upset for all of this.. In this world we all have to deal with difficult people.. I do everyday at my job, l don't like it but it pays the bills.. You need to sit down and talk with this guy, let him know how you feel about your current situation and find a solution to this real quick.. He needs to be a man and not a video boy and go out and get a job to help you out.. In today's economy it takes both people as a couple to make it.. Good luck!

Answer 4

A real man doesn't walk out on his job. Everywhere you go is the same thing. There's going to be people you don't like and don't get along with, also treat you like crap. You have to know how to deal with it. He's pretty selfish.You need to find a real man that will support you and is dependable and responsible.

Answer 5

no you are not being selfish - his response to a bad situation was poor - he simply should have looked for another job

quitting like that means he wont have good references and employers will be wary

at the same time try nd be supportive - its happened now - leave it behind - encourage him to get out there and find work

Answer 6

You better get rid of that man. Anyone who would just walk out on a job and not have another one to go to will keep you in financial debt all the time. His bad temper and the way he handles things does not say alot for him either. At that rate, he'll never be able to keep a job.

Answer 7

he is being quite selfish, relying on u to pick up the slack. is this a pattern of behavior, if it is he isn't really going to change. best to get out of it if u can. yes financial problems will definitly impact a marriage. you counted on him to do his share, but he has let u down. need to confront him, and set some boundaries about what u expect out of him, if he isn't willing to share in the bills, and keep a job, than u really have no future.

Answer 8

Well, dear, when rent is due, give him half. When the phone is due, give him half....Cut groceries to a bare minimum. Don't hand him cash. If he needs gas for the car, take it down and put in the gas.....

Walking out on a job with no prospect for employment is extremely immature. Evaluate the worth of this relationship.

Answer 9

Tough situation.changed your job when your hubby has a new one already. you dont want both you not being able to provide anything for the family

Answer 10

i think you should talk to him and help him get a new job. he is probably a little down because he is now unimployed. when he is employed again then concentrate on finding something better for yourself.