hi, can someone help me please. to most people my problems are stupid, but it feels like they are killing me?

Question

I am just so fed up and feel like i have nothing to live for.

Firstly, i am at uni, which most people class as good, but for me its ****. I have lost the passion i used to have for the subject. I dont want to drop out but i am so tiered and struggling with the work. Secondly, i feel like i dont fit in. People tell me that i do but i just dont. They are from towns and i am country. they talk about things i have no idea about. plus, everyone is of thin and good looking, an i am size 20. then, everyon starts talking about their b/g friends, and what they have done and i just sit their feeling even worse and never even had sex. only three men have ever taken interest in me, they get people falling over them. i just dont no what to do. i have thought about councilling but what can they do to help. my flat mates and mates at home are great but they just dont get it. the work is hard and then being the only virgin makes me feel unattractive and ****. what the hell do i do. im going crazy!

Answer 1

Don't worry about it, not healthy!
You will eventualle find the right guy, no rush!
you should be proud of beign a virgin, nothing wrong with that, at all!

Answer 2

It sounds as if you are having a rough time and you sound discouraged. University life can be stressful. There is so much work and then un top of it, you are feeling alienated because you feel that you are not fitting in. Please don't be so hard on yourself; let's take it a problem at a time and let's brainstorm some solutions here:
1. Lost the passion for the subject: Take heart in knowing that the subject is only a temporary thing and that it is but a stepping stone towards your ultimate goal of a degree. If you are really feeling you need to change courses, then some student counselling might help re-direct you in another more suitable choice. In the meantime, just tell yourself that you are getting closer to your goal each day.
2. Feeling that you don't fit in. You would probably be surprised to know that many people, even those most confident get those feelings from time to time. They may know things about the city, but think of all you know about the country. Smile when they are telling you their stories...be a good listener, but also contribute your own stories which I am sure your friends will find equally interesting.
3. Size 20 can still be drop dead gorgeous! Treat yourself to a new hairstyle if you can; learn to use make up skillfully and get a couple of outfits that you feel good in. Then make it a plan to get a little more exercise; maybe instead of sitting around talking about the city life with people you don't enjoy, be your own best friend...take yourself out for a vigourous 30 minute walk each day. That will serve to alleviate stress and may put you on the path to some weight reduction.
4. For a Christmas present to yourself, join WeightWatchers and take pride in losing a little weight. You will gain confidence and start to feel better about yourself and your health, both mental and physical will improve.
5. As far as being a virgin...don't stress out about it....one day you will meet that special someone but in the meantime...be good to yourself.

Answer 3

Get yourself off to your GP. This isnt the place to give out medical advice and I have no medical quals but I would say the following is common knowledge: tiredness, lack of interest in work and saying you feel there is nothing to live for are some of the things that go with depression. Tiredness plus weight gain could be a symptom of low thyroid which is something I suffered unknowingly for years - ask for a blood test. Secondly, get some exercise. Not because of your weight but because the chemicals it releases in your brain really will lift your mood. Unis have great facilities - or just get a good pair of running shoes - it will make you feel a zillion dollars. Dont let the body fascists put you off - if anyone gives you a funny look say to yourself, am I really going to let that moron stop me doing something that will make me feel so much better?

And take the sex tales with a pinch of salt too.

Answer 4

ok my name is angel and I am also a size 20 and I used to feel left out of the odd ball in the game but i read this book and it made me feel a lot better so here are a couple of points i took from the book

write yourself two letters (1)telling yourself how you see yourself and then(2) write what are the good thing about you and then read them over and then go take a shower and get out the shower and stand in a full length mirror and stand there and look for 15 minutes and you will cry the first time and then if all else fails go out more and try the dating scene and then go to the places that your friends are talking about or do what I normally do find what I am good at and just keep doing that I hoped that I was at least the smallest bit of help ok

Answer 5

i hated uni when i first started freiends, my friends all suddenly got these huge crouds they were aving the best time of their life i felt so left out and alone i didnt fit in...i still dont fit in and thats why i ave so many friends lol i found likeminded people and realised it wasnt so bad
and thin does not mean goodlooking. im well on the healthy side and i look goood! there are alot of guys who go for that look. even the fashion lot are catching on..who wantes to look thin and emacaited when you could be high eating your fave choc bar!! besides choc releases endorphins in the blood which make you happy and ahem horny..though i think that parts just a myth.
seriously for me the minute i stiopped bemoaning my fate and got stuck into the work (which i also now regret doing cos i lost my passion which i renewed by choosing different modules next time around) andwhen i next decided to wallow i realised there was nothing to wallow in.
we all feel abit blue sometimes hun but CHEER UP. honest. youll kick yourself for wasting this time later. dont bother thinking what others judge you as. be your own person. and let people love you for YOU
oh and as 4 the virgin thing its not that bad...im one too! id rather wait for the perfect guy rather than lose it just to get in there with the crowd.

Answer 6

You've probably lost your passion for your chosen subject because you're tired! It does happen you know. Give yourself some time off. You'll be back refreshed and ready to face the challenges it offers.

If people are telling you that you fit in - it can only mean that you are telling people you feel as if you don't...

Who are you telling this to?

Your friends?

Hey, the mere fact that you HAVE friends to complain to means that you ARE fitting in!

As for your issues about your weight...

Write a list of all the people you like and all the people you don't like...

DO IT NOW BEFORE YOU READ ON






Now list the things you do or don't like about each person...

DO IT NOW BEFORE YOU READ ON






Is 'weight' mentioned on ANY of your lists?

I THOUGHT NOT - see how unimportant it is?

Answer 7

You feel out of your depth. and in some ways you are. If you think of uni as a foreign country, where you have to learn all the ins and outs it will not seem as overwhelming. take small steps and you will get there. first try to find similar type people, perhaps a photography club or what ever you are interested in. if you find some one with in common interests you wont feel odd man(or woman) out. As for not having a sex life you have enough on your plate you do not even want to go there, you will have the rest of your life for that,remember you do not have to do it all in one year, nothing is going to move so it will wait until you are ready for it

Answer 8

I hope tihngs get better for you very soon.

I would carry on with your studies, as relentless as they may be. Try to organise a meal or something, or spend mroe time with the people at uni.
you seem a very nice person, so sooner or later, some man will take an interest in you and appreciate you for exactly who you are.
Cousilling may help just to get things into perspective and talk about things which have contributed to your sadness.

I really do hope tihngs get easier for you and good luck with uni. x

Answer 9

your problems are not stupid at all, i am sure you are lovely, but you need to love yourself and then your personality will shine through if you have a nice personality people will see that before they see what dress size you are, pamper yourself a bit do your hair, put on some make up that will lift your spirits then you can be yourself, and there is no shame in being a virgin, just be yourself and the right guy will see now nice you are good luck

Answer 10

Only you can change the way you feel. I don't think they intend to make you bad--they are just having conversation. I was in college at one time and I felt I may not fit in because I was older than most and found out that alot of people go to college of many ages.
It is not worth worrying about--you are in college for a career not a social party anyway. Just do your studies and move on. Counseling is really--colleges offer that their students for free--take advantage of it.

Answer 11

Don't beat yourself up about it it's not all its cracked up to be . you will probably think was that it afterwards ... sleeping with someone for the sake of saying you have slept with someone like most of your mates have have probably led to diseases on their part but they will not tell you that bit!

Stick to your studies . get yourself a good job behind you and things will fall into place

Size 20 or size 10 nothing matters

Good luck x