i cheated on my wife with her now ex friend and she will not forgive me! our marriage was great, but i just wanted to prove to my friends that i still had it ya know i could get any girl i wanted. ya know and i wasn't thinking, and i hurt her real bad, and she said she still loves me and i love her too, she just couldn't forgive me what i did and now we are getting a divorce, i tried everything nothing works, and i can't move on, because i still lover her. i want her back but can't get her, regreted what i did.
2006-11-25 08:47:58 · 30 answers · asked by dfgdfnxmnclk d 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sorry, but you should have thought about how to impress your wife and not how to impress your friends.
You get what you give, and now you're going to have to live with the consequences of your actions.
2006-11-25 08:50:40 · answer #1 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
All you can do at this point is to avoid any conflict with her, and even though she is going for a divorce, try to win back her trust by remaining loyal as if you two were married prior to the cheating. If you really love her, do not at this point try to fill the lonlieness or heartache by finding someone else to occupy your time. If she was to have any doubts about divorcing you and were to find out, that would only reaffirm her choice to leave the marriage. Be very apologetic every chance the subject is brought up, and try to court her again as you did when the two of you were dating. Be honest and open and be certain to make sure she knows that it wasn't done because you didn't love her, or that you weren't attracted to her, or because of anything else about her. Tell her that the sole blame of your cheating lies with you and only you, it had nothing to do with anything about her. Tell her you felt insecure from your friends jabs at you and needed to reassure yourself that you still had it, and that you were such a fool, that all you had to do to reassure yourself that you still had it was to look into her beautiful eyes and see that of course you still had it if you were able to keep her. Promise her you'll stay away from that girl or any other woman she may ever feel jealous about and that you will no longer hang out with those friends that had swayed you to where you ended up at. And to be blunt, if you don't want to give up those friends, who obviously weren't your friends to respect your marriage by not egging you like that, then you really shouldn't be in a marriage because your spouse takes priority. Also reassure your wife that if at anytime you feel there is any problem or any other conflict you will be sure to diuscuss it with her before allowing it to come between the two of you. These are all the things that she needs to know from you , because chances are she's tore up inside and feels really insecure right now and needs your reassurance, with actions along with words.
2006-11-25 09:02:03 · answer #2 · answered by slinkster 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You don't love her. You love your reputation with your friends more. More over, you love yourself more. If my girlfriend ever cheated, I might be able to forgive her, but I will never forget about it. And I know that if I did take her back, I would feel deep resentment towards her for commiting such an act. I would never be able to trust her alone with another man. I would constantly keep thinking about her having sex with other men, and it would drive me nuts. I would think about how the other guy performed, and if it was better. I would think that I'm obviously not good enough for her. I would think that I must be doing something wrong in the relationship, because obviously, she cares more about herself, and her own desires. She's not worried about how her actions would affect me. I would think she loves herself and her own desires more than she loves me. Suppose I never did find out.. It's the fact that she would do something so horrific and still be able to look at herself in the mirror. Right now, I trust my girlfriend, and I know she would not cheat on me, because, like me, she also thinks cheating is the worst thing a person can do to someone. But let's say I'm with someone who's not like that. Let's say I'm with a girl whos more like... You (I know you're a guy, I'm talking about the personality of a cheater). Even if I found myself able to forgive her, I would still keep her as nothing more than a friend, because that feeling of betrayel from someone I once gave my heart and soul to, someone I gave my trust to. That feeling of betrayel would be so strong. For me to trust another person with my heart, and have her **** all over it... You did the crime, now pay the price. Learn, and move on.
2006-11-25 10:30:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you cheated with the wrong chick. Secondly, you shouldn't have cheated. Third why would you have to prove to your buddies that you still had "it"? Why does it matter if you still have "it" if your married. I wouldn't forgive you either, that was wrong. You f-u-c-k-e-d up a perfectly good marriage to prove something to your friends. Give her time and maybe her wounds will heal, the question is would you take her back if she gave up the goods to one of your friends? How would you feel, and how long would it take for you to get over that? Also, would you still be friends with the buddie that stuck your wife?
2006-11-25 09:12:21 · answer #4 · answered by Nessy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, if your marriage was that great, you wouldn't have done what you did. What do you care what your friends think of your sex appeal? You had a loving wife, which your friends were probably just jealous of to begin with, which is why they may have put you under pressure. You were the fool to rise to the challenge. And if you love your wife the way you claim to, you wouldn't have looked twice at another woman either.
Still, you know what you did. Unfortunately there isn't a thing you can do to change it. You are going to have to live with the consequences of this one.
2006-11-25 08:52:33 · answer #5 · answered by helly 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is hard to regain trust. She might have had other people cheat on her in past relationships and she can't forgive you because you broke that line of trust. Give her some time, she might come around and she might not. You have a lot of proving that you are going to be faithful. Plus, I'm sorry that you had to prove yourself to your "friends". If they were your real friends, they would have not let you do something like that. Are all of your friends not married? If they are, why are you hanging around so many single men? Single people do not understand marriage until they get married themselves(yes i am married).
2006-11-25 09:01:21 · answer #6 · answered by PreciousRuby 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am sorry for what is happening. You need to ask yourself if the shoe was on the other foot would you forgive her?? I think not, you cheated to prove to your boys you still got it. That means your boys mean more to you than she does. Now you are feeling the brunt of what your boys set you up to lose - your marriage. I know you don't want to hear it, but you need to let her do what she thinks is best for her. But try and remain in contact with her. Do foolish things for her. Do things for her that will hurt your pride, like sending roses everyday, like going out of your way to please her. You will have to beg to get her back, and if begging is not for you then let your pride and your boys fulfill you. Sorry, but the bible says that pride comes before a fall, but humility and truat in God can restore. I will pray for you.
2006-11-25 09:56:02 · answer #7 · answered by MeToo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your life was so great you say every thing was so great so why did you cheat? thats the question you should be asken. your buddys are real jerks what if she cheated on you you would want to forgive her but you couldent ever let her back into that broken heart of yours and still trust her. i have made mistakes too and ive wanted to go back in time and changes things but i couldent you should under stand why she cant forgive you sure u proved your buddys that ya still got it but ask yourself this was it worth it?
2006-11-25 08:59:16 · answer #8 · answered by dan 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The only person that you need to prove to is your wife not your friends. It is obvious that your friend's opinion is more important to you than your wife...I hope she divorces you because you are not a very good husband. You should feel very bad for what you did. I feel sorry for her that she now has to put up with all of this emotional trouble that YOU caused.
2006-11-25 08:53:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well if she didn't want to divorce then you could save the marriage thru counseling. I will say that what you did was irresponsible and you have broken your vow to your wife. Now you have to pay the consequences for your actions. Why would you do such a dumb thing in the first place???
2006-11-25 08:57:43 · answer #10 · answered by Lily 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are simply reaping what you sowed. Saying sorry is fine when you accidently step on a person's foot, but it means little or nothing when you deliberately betray the person you swore to love and respect. But, since you say you cheated to impress your friends, you can proudly tell them that you managed to screw the other girl AND yourself. I'm sure that will prove to them how manly you are.
2006-11-25 09:04:18 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋