About 3 years ago, I filed for divorce from my ex-wife. At the same time, my relationship with my parents was strained due to other issues but we were still talking. When I filed for divorce though, my parents basically stopped talking to me and kept in contact with my Ex, giving her the support that they thought she needed.
I've never been close to my dad but from my mom, I expected a different reaction. For like a year, she never wrote, called, orame by to see how I was doing or to hear what my side of the story was. When we finally did start to talk which was really just infrequent emails, I told her about all the reasons that I filed for divorce (emotional and physical abuse, my ex being bi-polar, trust and abandonment issues, etc) and she said that that was not the woman she knew and basically called me a liar. She still invites my Ex over for the Holidays.
I don't trust my mother anymore and I don't think I ever will.
Please share your thoughts on this. Thanks.
2006-11-25 08:40:15 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
A couple of additional details, neither of us were unfaithful but my ex did have a guy move in with her like 2 months after I moved out. I think she met him soon after I moved out.
Also we have two small children together. My mom claims that she stays close with my Ex to be with the children which is funny because she came to visit maybe once every 3 months during the marriage. But she invites my Ex alone to holiday parties and such so it doesn't really make sense anyway.
I think my mom is upset because in her mind, people in marriages stay together, no matter what. I think she sees it like I gave up on the marriage.
2006-11-25 08:54:21 · update #1
Divorce yourself from your parents, too.
2006-11-25 08:44:15 · answer #1 · answered by Leo F 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It seems that the other issues that strained the relationship between you and your parents is still a big issue with your mother and i do believe she is friends with your ex because of her grandchildren, don't involve your parents in your breakup with your ex wife, this way your parents can keep an eye on the kids remember there is a new man in their lives, you are their son you don't need an invitation to see them even if it is the holidays, visit your parents patch things up with them don't bad mouth your ex she has moved on you should too.
2006-11-25 09:45:50 · answer #2 · answered by lara 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, well try other relatives and maybe might agree with you,maybe they felt compassion for her or something since they see it as she has bipolar and not her fault for the divorce and maybe they thought you were insensitve for divorcing her and they just wanna see the situation as if they were blind,try at least one more time by saying politely that to not invite the ex over for the holidays by saying that part of my life is over and that you wanna move on and by seeing her more just reminds me of my failed marriage and that when you are completely over her than if you're parent still want to invite her thay can but with your permission,if they refuse to listen then only time will tell since they do say time does heal wounds or something like that just no matter what be kind and polite still give gifts on holiday even if the realtionship looks like it will never heal since they are your parent no matter what =D
2006-11-25 09:04:05 · answer #3 · answered by *sapphire* 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mom and ex are females and there is a kinship there when it comes to divorce. In most cases the women is looked at as the victim.
Your mother told you the truth, she does not know the women you are speaking of that has problems because your ex (and we all do it) puts on her best when around others and your parents.
The year that your parents didn't attend to your needs, what were you doing to keep in touch with them ?
Last, you seem to be having trouble with the females in your life, staying connected, communicating, and acceptance of emotional abuse (from mom and ex).
Ask yourself, who did you marry "your mom or your dad?"
Ask yourself, which one of your parents were you in your marriage "mom or dad?."
There is nothing wrong with counseling before entering another relationship.
Best of luck !
2006-11-25 08:59:45 · answer #4 · answered by Sunflower 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't force her to feel the way you do or see what you see. The only way she'll truly get the picture is to experience it firsthand for herself or to meet someone else who supports what you say. If I were you, I just wouldn't visit when ex is around or leave when she unexpectedly shows up. Your mother knows you far better than the ex. Any flaws ex has WILL come to light. It's just a matter of time before they surface. When the truth finally hits her, she'll be back begging your forgiveness for not believing .
2006-11-25 08:58:47 · answer #5 · answered by Mike's Girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not to be rude or anything like that but if your own mother cannot be there for you, screw it why be around family that would treat you that way? If you're happy in your current life, you don't need to put yourself through any misery with anyone else, family included. Sometimes that's just the way it goes.
2006-11-25 09:20:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
WOW I am sorry to hear....I cant believe they took her side over yours...you are their son? I wouldnt trust them and do not go over for the holidays. Keep it friendly because it is your parents but other then that keep away_
2006-11-25 08:43:49 · answer #7 · answered by Chickybabe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe that she should support you, because you are her son. I don't think I could forgive my mother if she chose my ex over me. It's up to your mother. She should apologize to you.
2006-11-25 09:03:39 · answer #8 · answered by Beth T 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
were you unfaithful?
2006-11-25 08:46:18 · answer #9 · answered by bondsmom2002 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋