Horse question can anyone help me?

Question

Ive been riding since I was 7, im 28 nearly 29 now. I absolutly adore horses but I need your help. Early this year I had a nasty fall which although neither myself nor the horse was injured we both came down together quite hard. I never thought i would find myself in this situation but I feel ive lost my confidence!!! I love a challenge and i usually ride Arabs. Does anyone know of a riding stable anywhere not too far away from Chatham which maybe able to help me please. Im looking for private lessons purely to regain my confidence so i can get back out there and enjoy riding again.

Thankyou for your time

Answer 1

Im afraid I cant help you with the stable thing, but I can say that at the end of the day, only YOU can get back your confidence. It's not a matter of skills that can be taught by an instructer. You are an experienced rider, so private lessons wont really gain you much unless you want to compete.
I've lost my confidence in jumping before. My horse and I came down on a fence, it was purely my fault as I misjudged the stride and asked my horse to jump to soon, and he, being as honest and willing as he was, jumped. He ended up being lame for 6 months and has refused to go over a jump since, and I ended up in hospital. I buggered up an amazing horse and that fact preys on my mind constantly.
HOWEVER
that said, it's taken me 3 yrs to get back into jumping, I tried an instructer at first, actually i tried several, but none of them worked, purely because i wasn't ready. The only way i got back into jumping was through a friend of mine. she had an old "school master" that she lent me, and oneday while we were riding out on the trails, we were cantering and she was in the lead, she calls to me "Log ahead" and before i could even think we were over it. gave me quite a shock and i totally yelled at her. she turned around and said to me, "Girl, you're fine, the horse is fine, don't stress!"
Turns out all i needed was a wonderful friend and an awesome horse to push me back into the right direction. I'll never compete again, but im no longer afraid to go over a jump.
My suggestion to you is, (i presume you have your own horse) just call up a riding friend and ask them to come ride with you in the ring, just start with a walk, wander around the arena, and chat to your friend, don't do anymore than that to begin with, don't even ask your horse to do anything, ride off the bit and just relax - I know this is easier said than done, i really do - but i can assure you you'll soon get back into the swing of things. just dont push yourself anymore than you feel you are able. You obviously have a passion for riding and that in itself is half the battle won!

I really hope this helps!

Answer 2

Ouch. I had a fall like that too, riding an Arab/Saddlebred cross. I think you are on the right track with a private lesson, or taking a lesson in a group that you trust, with an instructor you trust. Some instructors will not take the time to work through your fears, others can be more understanding. If you can't get a private lesson, can you step back your riding and work at walk trot for a little while? Put your mind on perfect circles, ground rails, smooth transitions, and that sort of thing. I had the luxury of being able to trail ride, and just spending time on the horse at a walk or easy trot, on a familiar trail, was helpful. If you are afraid, you might tense up, and that will travel through your body to the horse, and neither of you will be relaxed! The breathing exercise suggested by someone else can also be helpful if you are apprehensive. I don't know where Chatham is, so I can't help you with a suggestion in that respect. I would say take it easy the first couple of times out, and remember how much fun it can be. You'll be back up to speed in no time.

Answer 3

I know some people who been riding 30+ years and their ego just went down the drain with a fall.

Things just happen. No mater what age and how many years of experience.

No private lessons is going to give that confidence back. That confidence is a inner self issue that only you can get from yourself with the learning experience from your horse.

I had plenty of ego busters. Especially at shows or infront of girls that I personally was giving lessons to. Talk about embaressing.

Yet, I used it positively. I would use it as a learning tool. "What did I do wrong? Can you point it out? Can I point it out? What did my horse do, why?" Once you are able to answer those questions, then you are able to find other solutions for it to not happen again.

Ex: If a person spurs their horse and the horse bucks, spins and goes nuts, will you:
1) Sit on a log and wonder what caused the horse to do that.
2) Think the horse needs lunged as too hyper.
3) Keep spuring thinking the horse will listen eventually.
4) Try it with out spurs.

Honestly, I would think number 4 is what I would do. All those are examples of people I seen. Number 4 was the last on the list to do, even though it was what the horse responded to. Not the other stuff.

I say go out to your horse, groom your horse, give some bonding time and go and try it again. You will be nervous but just have to shake off the fact that you will fall. You will do stupid mistakes. Your horse will be wacko once in awhile. Let nature be nature.

Only way to enjoy riding is if you see joy in riding. No trainer can give you that joy other than yourself.

This was something earlier this year. Almost 1 year ago. You been riding 20+ years. Take what you learned those 20+ years and use it.

Go out and ride with a friend and exchange information. Observe your horse and observe your riding style to see if both match.

Film yourself is one of the best ways to learn too.

Every time I fell off or got myself into a situation, I would re-evaluate the situation and then do the opposite. I try to prevent that from happening again. If it does, then I just keep trying to find better ways. That is what makes you a stronger, confident rider is by working hard to enjoy what you got.

I am not familar with Chatham area. I wish i can help you on that. However, discuss this with friends and family, along with other ranchers in your area who you can get some pointers from.

Answer 4

Don't be discouraged. You had a BAD fall. Falls like that an really shake you because they make you realize how close you came to being smushed flat. My Gelding did a somersault with me on him once, just halting from a canter. We were both fine, but it was SCARY, and over two years later I still get nervous if my (younger and more sure footed) mare takes a turn to fast, on steep hills and if i feel her stumble at all or get unbalenced. But I'm not crippled by it either. I take my horse team penning, on the trail, and ride bareback a often.

I don't live near you, so I can't recommend any specific stables, but I would use the Internet the tack store, and the vet and farrier to help find a suitable instructor or barn. Then watch the teacher, preferably with a student who is a little nervous or an older beginner so you can decide if this is the right person for you.

Tell your new instructor what happened and that your nervous. I think one on one lessons are a good idea for a while. You will probably have to back step a bit from where you were.

If its any help, I saw one of my friends go from relatively confident on calm horse to TERRIFIED of all horse going faster than a walk. When she switched barns to a good instructor who was patient and calm, she came back, now she's learning to jump.

You won't be able to forget you had a nasty fall, and you might always be nervous in situations similar to the one that lend to your fall, but thats okay. Its also okay to change intrests in the sport. So what if you used to be a famous eventer? You realized that your mortal, and its okay to decide you want to do somthing more laid back, or somthing totally different and find your challenge by trying enduranceor dressage or somthing.. Its also okay if you decide to go back to what you used to do. Do what you want to do, and don't let anyone tell you different.

Answer 5

I don't know where Chatham is- can you be more specific? I would recommend looking in the phone book for stables that teach riding lessons, or go to your local tack shop, talk to the people who work there (they most likely know most everyone), and look for ads posted there by teachers and trainers. A lot of people seem to be telling you to cowboy up and just get back on, but it isn't that easy if you're not a teenager! I think your idea of private lessons is a good one. Having someone else control the situation for a little while can help rebuild your confidence, and maybe help you to understand what went wrong and how you ended up with such a bad fall. Sometimes some of us need a little help, and I think you are on the right track. Good Luck!!

Answer 6

I can not answer your question on a stable as I live in the US.
I can tell you that every rider has at one time been in your boots.
We have all taken a fall and had to deal with the fear of riding again.
Start in a controled area like an arena or pen where the horse can not run off with you. Take is slow and start with basic walk exercise. With time and effort on your part you will re-gain your confidence and things will get better.
I had a bad fall and a head injury a few years ago.
It took me awhile to get back on when I did I rode only in the arena and only alone. I have done yoga for years and the breathing you do fori t has helped me to learn to control the fear.
I spent months at a walk in the arena. Not doing much. But as I gained my confidence back I am now able to gallop again and I am fine. My horse is reallyu happy about it. He is an ex-racer and loves a good long gallop across the pasture.
Good luck.

Answer 7

I am 30 and have been riding simce I was 5, i have always been a confident rider but lost my confidence about a year ago after being on a horse that lost it on the road taking me down a ditch and into a car.

The key for me was one step at a time, if you are not confident to ride then just spend time on the ground grooming,leading etc.
Then ride a horse you trust, my TB has given me back my confidence, go for short hacks and set yourself goals, I will get to the end of the lane, to the next tree etc.

Private lessons may help but in the end it is down to you and the horse you are riding.

Answer 8

It is not a riding stable that is going to HELP you. NO PRIVATE Lessons are going to win your confidece back. It has to be you and A HORSE. I am sure the Horse was not Happy about the fall either. So does that mean the Horse will never take a Human on it's back again??
First , Take it easy. Spend Time with your favorite horse, walk him/her. Talk too, Pet, groom. etc. Just spend time around the animal first. YOU WILL BE AMAZED IF YOU GIVE YOURSELF THE CHANCE HOW THE URGE TO RIDE THAT HORSE WILL TAKE YOU BACK UP ON THAT BACK. Take it easy once your on. Just walk, your confidence will grow on it's own.
Good Luck!

Answer 9

Hi,

If you go onto the British Horse Society website and look for approved Riding Schools in your area. Go and have a look at a couple and then if you are happy with the place, speak to an Instructor and discuss your concerns. He/she should be very empathetic and will help you gain you confidence back again. It has happened to all of us to a greater or lesser degree, it takes years to build confidence and minutes to shatter it.

Good luck.

Rosie

Answer 10

Had the same thing happen to me. I just kept telling myself that it's bound to happen sometime or other. Lots of people fall, get bucked, etc. and they just keep on going. Even the most experienced horse people have accidents. You can't expect to ride on top of a huge animal and be in control ALL the time.