I know my friend for three years. we flirt with each other, talk about sensitive stuff, deepest secrets.but we know that we r not in love each other. we have nothing in common. the only problem is that when i date somebody he ends up forcing me to spend more time with him. when i break up with a boyfriend, he shows me no sympathy. n i kind of get jealous n irritated when he talks to me about other girls. but again we don't want a relationship with each other. i like him very much as a best friend...often times when i hurt him, i get stuffy feelings inside n i end up crying. we fight n then again become friends. this has been happening for years. do you think we are not really bestfriends, but something else?
2006-11-25 07:37:27 · 40 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
2 me it seems like HE wants to be the bf of urs and nobody else. Thats why he always make u spend time with him when u r in a relationship, because he thinks it should be you and him or JSUT you. and thats also why he tlks about other girls, because he thinks that if he does you'll get so jelous of wanting to b the one he's tlking about that it'll FORCE you to go out with him. thats never happened to me so irdk but thats wut i think.
HOpe things get better,
Alex
2006-11-25 08:52:28 · answer #1 · answered by Sexi-Lexi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that maybe the two of you have over the years developed a very strong friendship. Guys and girls can be bestfriends, I have a guy bestfriend myself, and yet I am married at the same time. But being that you are not married, I think maybe that it is possible that maybe deep down the two of you might have feelings for each other more than friends, and maybe dont even realize it. I am not by any means saying that you should act upon them, but maybe you two should have a serious heart to heart talk and just see what comes out of it. Of course I am not sure of your age, but just take it easy and talk, its always the best thing to do.
2006-11-25 07:45:26 · answer #2 · answered by pussycat19782001 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not true that boys/girls, men/women cannot be best friends. It does sound as thought the two of you may have more interest in one another than you're willing to admit to. Having many things in common isn't always indicative of a succesful relationship. Many times the differences are what keep things interesting. It's also possible that you're simply going thru an adjustment period (certain age group) that makes your emotions a little difficult to keep under control, and that in the end... friendship will win out :) One more thing to take into consideration... having your boyfriend/girlfriend also as your best friend, is extremely satisfying.
2006-11-25 07:45:20 · answer #3 · answered by witchylust 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you two are using your friendship as a sort of 'surrogate' relationship, where you can tease, play and confide in each other without the extra layer of a romantic/physical relationship.
It's probably not a true platonic friendship based on your description of both your actions at times. And in general, I think it is difficult for men and women to be 'best friends' unless one or both is gay, because that deep connection can lead to romance under the right circumstances (or chemical influence) even when you don't expect it.
You should really look at yourself in this relationship, realize why you feel so connected to this guy, and either cool the close emotional bond for something more casual and superficial, or give the romantic part of the relationship a chance and see what happens.
2006-11-25 07:59:24 · answer #4 · answered by PacificArts72 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes. A boy and girl can be best friends.
The only way you say he acts differently is the scary way he acts when you get or lose your own dating partners.
This is quite common with best friends. It does not indicate that you two have romantic issues together. (best friends depend on each other and other people's use of your time can make the friend who is left out feel scared)
Value your friendship. Let your friend express his fear. One day he may date someone and leave you feeling uneasy. Then you will be free to express your emotions in turn.
just because someone is expressing anxiety, doesn't mean anything has to change with your friendship.
2006-11-25 07:56:48 · answer #5 · answered by halloweenieseason 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me as if you are in love with each other. I had a very good friend in high school actually from Kindergarten, she would tell me all kinds of stuff we would talk all night long on the phone, we even stayed at each others apartments after high school and has sleep overs, she could tell me about her guys and could talk about my girls and neither ever acted jealous.
She helped me to stay in touch with my sensitive side. We still 2 or three time a week, my wife is not jealous of her and her husband is a great guy.
2006-11-25 07:46:09 · answer #6 · answered by Mike E 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
who ever told you this statement, I'd have to say this isn't true and never knew anyone of the opposite sex as for having a best friend being the opposite sex without want them for sexual pleasure and nothing more. Yes you can have a best friend and in your nature you have a good friend there ( best friends can be friends without thinking of each other for sex all the time ) don't be fooled by those who hid behind their doors in sheep clothing while the wolves roam around so freely. this is an old wise tale. I'll pass down to you. what you have there is original and one of a kinda that is truely hard to find. he's like a brother or cousin to you but not related to you and he's your best friend indeed. the only relationship like this is Gods only gift to you to learn and teach others in this world that there's more to people getting to know and care about them without wanting Sex all the time.. you should be teaching them and not listening to what they tell you because you have alot of knowledge to pass on down for them to learn from you two.. best of luck.
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2006-11-25 18:47:23 · answer #7 · answered by aniket c 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It appears that your friendship is top priority...and that you do not want to risk it not being. Because you would loose this close friendship. Male and female can be and do make the best of best friends.
Love of a friend and romantic love are two different types of love. Although you can be best friends with the one you spend the rest of your life with..(AND HOPEFULLY WILL BE).. As for now placing value on your friendship is wise and more rewarding... This of course can develop into the 'one'...but you appear to be young and free and life is before you.
If it is meant to be ..it will be. You can count on that. But for now ..consider who would you share your feelings with if you broke up with him..Right now you have the best of both worlds...Best friends are hard to find and even harder to loose. Life is all about making choices. Chose wisely......
2006-11-25 07:51:15 · answer #8 · answered by BootZ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I used to think that boys and girls could be best friends too. For three years, my best friend was a guy, and well, that's a long story, but people were starting so many untrue rumours about us that he got uncomfortable and started to avoid me. I was really mad at him for letting me down because of what people were thinking and we've almost not spoken since that day. That was quite a shock 'cause I really considered him as my best friend, you know.
As we get older, it seems like those friendship are almost frowned upon, which is totally stupid.
Maybe it isn't such a good idea to flirt with your best friend... You know you don't want to do something about it, but what if he gets the message differently?
Well, good luck, I hope things will get better. :)
2006-11-25 07:45:18 · answer #9 · answered by .:: me ~* 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
boys and girls can be best friends and so can men and women, but if it is "friends" neither of you would be jealous of the other when in a relationship with someone else, you would just be happy your "buddy " is happy. So pray about your feelings, it might be love after all, you don't have to have things in common with each other, "opposites" often attract pretty strongly
2006-11-25 07:41:18 · answer #10 · answered by LatterDaySaint and loving it 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the boy and the girl are both good looking and they have a lot in common then most likely no, they won't stay just friends. They will end up falling in love. It's just a matter of time.
2006-11-25 07:40:23 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋