About getting married?

Question

I am an 18 year old girl in India.

I have had a bf for 3 years now. We are very much in love and were waiting for my education to get completed. However, my parents found out about him and have told me to break contact with him as he belongs to a different caste.

To make things more complicated, they fixed my marriage for December 30, with some other man in a different city, without consulting me. They told me I HAVE to marry him or else they'll throw me out of the house and disown me.

I do not want this to happen as I love my parents...but at the same time I also love my bf ... please help. I dont want to chose between my parents and my bf but my parents are conservative and mean every word they say. It's the family honour versus my love.

Answer 1

MAKE COURT MARRIAGE AND ENJOY WITH YOUR BOY FRIEND OR MARRIAGE TO THE CHOICE OF YOUR PARENTS.

Answer 2

This is a very difficult question, I wish you all the support in the world! From what I understand of your culture, your in a very difficult spot! I would advise talking to your parents but it might not help at this point. Personally I do not agree with "Arranged Marriages" And to find a true love is a rare thing, although your young and your outlook on life will change. But if you marry this man you don't know you may resent your family and him for not allowing you to choose. Good luck and I hope that you find love and peace.

Answer 3

well i am not sure how things are done in indian and infact i am in love with an indian man and his parents dont know about us because of this very same resone, but now that you parents have found out about him its like this love is love honey but your family will always be there i mean look at it this way if you and he do not work out then where do you have to turn to my understanding indian family's are close but once your out of the family you are out! but if this man that you parents have set you up to marry is any man you should talk to him and tell him that you could never love him and you dont want him to accept the marriage and maybe that will help i dont know if he could do that or not but hey its worth a shot honey i feel bad for you but you stuck between a rock and a hard spot really no way to help you out with your culture it is what it is keep in touch april a

Answer 4

Well, I have heard that in INdia , most marriages are arranged and that it is a big deal.


You have a choice to either honor your parents and marry this guy, and have a family with him , and possibly love him one day..

Or you could run away with your b/f.. but then what would happen? would you stay together forever? would you still love him in 10 or 20 years? What if you break up, and b/c you chose him so long ago, you have no parents, b/c they disowned you?

Do what makes you happy.. maybe your parents will accept it later on... but it all depends on how strong they believe in this arrangement.

Answer 5

In view of your culture, you are still young to be able to know whether you truly love the boy. Have a compromise with your family. I know they want what they think is best for you. Tell them that you will agree not to see your boyfriend but they should not force you to marry at this age, because you are still completing your education. Explain that getting married while studying would not be profitable for you. They will agree if they see your point so be assertive on this point. But you have to fulfil your part of the bargain. Inform your boyfriend of the agreement and request him to wait if he truly loves you. This will also be a test if your love for him is for real or not. After you finish your education and you still feel the same way, then you have to inform your parents about it. If they still insist on the arranged marriage then, fight for your true love, But it would be best to get your parents' blessings. I think you can get this if you try hard to explain.

Answer 6

There is no via-media for such things.
Either you have to obey your parents or run away with your lover and marry. Before doing this run away act, confirm whether your boy friend is capable of managing you and next family. Whether he is having his own income or depending on his parents for his livelihood. If he is economically independent and assures you that he takes all the responsibilities, you can go ahead with marriage with him.
Just love is not enough to live in this world. Love is just a body language and attraction to opposite sex, that is natural, which leads to marriage, sex, reproduction so on and so forth. Without money you cannot survive. Think twice before taking any further steps, as it is not just love, but it is the question of life and death. There is nothing to distract you in the name of religion, if you are above 18 and if he is above 21 years of age, the law of the land comes to your rescue.

Answer 7

...First thing I dont think this is a right age for getting married u should study more get a good job and then think about marrying...anyways.... u have a very long way to go u should think about ur boyfriend practically (keep the love thing aside)...and if u really think he can give u all the things as a responsible husband I think u should go for him....keep pressurising ur parents sooner or later they will agree (dont do any thing stupid ).....and in the last i want to say only one thing that this is not at all a right age for getting married seriously u should do mba or some thing and start earning then ull be able to make ur own decisions wisely..

Answer 8

From the explanation you gave, it appears that the choice lies with you only.
If you love that boy really and he is ready to support you, with economical stability, then you can marry him, breaking with your parents.

You should know him well, since you know him since 3 years. If you don't have that guts, then it is better for you to marry the boy chosen by your parents. This happens in almost 90% Indian families. I have known many girls, who disobeyed their parents, ran away with the boys they loved, only to be ditched after some time, when the boys' lust is over. You may love him very much, but, the case should be same with the boy also.
THINK TWICE. THE DECISION IS YOURS.

Answer 9

I'm sorry. I might not be able to be of much help, since i don't really know your culture, but in my opinion you can get love from both your parents and your boyfriend. Your parents think what they are doing is for your own good. They want what is best for you. But, they too are human, they don't always know what is best. It should be up to you who you marry. I would honestly pick love vs your family. But, like I said, I don't really know your culture. But if your family doesn't care for you enough to let you choose your own husband then i feel like they are betraying you, by not trusting you.

Good luck :)

Answer 10

You have three options. (1) Confront your parents for your studies' sake. Tell them to let you finish your studies.[Result, you will get time to think over your options, talk to your love] (2) Do what your parents say [Result, loose your love forever] (3) Join your love for life [Result, you will get your love for life and parents will adjust one day, infact they will have to.] Your Parents have closed all doors for re-consideration. Remember, When you came to this world, there was no relegion label attached with your skin. It is we people who divide humanity into castes and religions. Beleive in yourself and must discuss it with your love. Discuss your Problem with Him(Your Love) [Must]

Answer 11

you are too young to be getting married try to convince your parents not to fix your marriage this much earlier. Else you speak directly to the bridegroom about your love it will help you. but be confident with your b/f..... that alone will help you.....

Best of luck...