Should I let him back in?????

Question

My husband left me the middle of Sept. because things just weren't working out anymore.We have three beautiful children together and me and him were together for 3 yrs. Anyways he left and at times he was a real a** towards me and the kids.I still have alot of love for him so I would help him out money wise whenever he needed it which put me in the hole cause I really didn't have money to just throw around.Anyways just last week he lost everything;his truck,job,he can't pay his rent for his new apartment so now he wants to come back.I know in my heart he's using me because he clearly didn't want to come back before but with his situation changing he knows I'll take him back.He says he always wanted to come back but why is he only mentioning it when he's desperate???What should I do, should I take him back or not??What makes it easier to turn away the one you love??Is he using me or does he really want to come back home,did he realize during this past holiday what family really means??

Answer 1

I think your concerns are legitimate, and I think it's a good idea to consider carefully whether you want to let this abusive man back into your lives. (I assume he abused you and the kids based on what you said.) I think that people can change, but you should look for evidence that he is really serious about changing. Enrolling himself in anger management classes or psychological counseling might be a good start. Also, I think you have a right to be concerned about the timing of this "change of heart" and it sounds like you feel like he's using you, which sounds to me like a form of abuse. I'd say, if you need help, get help from a battered women's shelter, an ecclesiastical leader, a counselor, or somebody else who can help you make a wise decision. Remember to keep your kids in mind when you are making this decision -- think about what will be best for them. God bless you.

Answer 2

He's using you, and obviously you know that he is. Don't teach your children this-do you actually want them to think its alright to dump on someone then "make" then take you back, thru guilt or love, just because the relationship with them isn't the only thing you've screwed up? Be brave, I know it will be hard. Make him show you that he has changed before you let him back, if ever. Don't be a doormat.

Answer 3

What god has joined together, let no man put ussunder!!!! Marriage to me is sacred! It doesnt mean hes using you b/c of desperation, it is possible his deperation was also his firm courage to let you know he wants to come back home, he cant make it without you, he needs you, you already know he needs you & probably always has, even while he was gone you were his backbone, his strength..Perhaps the space opened his eyes to what he really has" YOU DONT MISS YOUR H20 UNTIL YOUR WELL RUNS DRY"" mAYBE HE HAD GOTTEN THIRSTY!!! GOOD LUCK..

Answer 4

Honey, he's using you. It's sad but true. He knows he can push you over and manipulate you. I think you just need to move on and think about what would be best long term. For your kids, and yourself. Think of the example that you're setting for the kids. Is that really how you want to portray yourself to them??