Feeling like I want revenge?

Question

I found out that my sister in law has not only befriended my husband's mistress (now girlfriend/baby momma) but also cosigned my husbands affairs by validating lies, my husband has told to the other woman. I blame my husband (soon to be ex) for his infidelity and I have dealt with him my own way. But for my sister in law to have discredited me and tells lies about me and has even talked about my kids (her niece and nephew) with this other woman outrages me. She has been playing both sides of the fence and has acted like she was my friend for years (borrowing my car, sharing intimate details about her past lovers comparing them to her husband, borrowing ends which was never paid back and etc) I am not saying that I'm squeaky clean either. I have one piece of information that would devastate her but revealing such information would hurt someone that I truly love in the process. But I can't stop feeling the want to see egg on her face.

Answer 1

Don't stoop to her level. You are better than that - and you know it. And the only person you should truly be angry with is your ex-husband. Move on with your life...

Answer 2

First of all, I think youre right in not hurting her back. It never makes you truly feel better to do so. Second, since you have been friends with her, I think you should just tell her, calmly, that it is inappropriate for her to discuss your children or anything relating to you with the mistress. In the end, though, its up to her to be an adult. If she is going to talk smack, she is. Nothing you say or do can stop her. It can only make you feel and look bad.
Its totally natural to feel the want for revenge, but please think about it and about your children before you do something. You have to be in contact with the lowlife ex for the rest of their childhood and keeping things on the level is maybe the best way.
You can atleast revel in the knowledge that youre a better person than one who would do the things she has.
Sorry youre going through such a bad time.

Answer 3

She was your sister in law, so when your done with your husband youll be done with her too. She isnt blood so you wont ever have to deal with her again anyhow. Also remember people who are bad have to live with their own actions, and even if you dont spill the beans on her she will be secretly dreading the possibility that you will. A wize man once said that waiting for the consequence is worse than the consequence. Even in 10 years she will still be living the lie and in the back of her mind she wont ever know if you will pull the carpet from under her feet. You already have your revenge by knowing this.

Answer 4

what ? Him or us ? God don't do revenge..He just lets you go your own way for a few millenium, then He warns you He's going to bring Judgment and vola ! He does...which is what is coming soon...the Judgments of God...to an unrepentant world... read Revelations 11-18 ( chapters) for a fuller insight... pandemics, super viruses, plagues, no drinkable water, all the seas dying,more and more "natural disasters", months with no light in the skies; just a murky half-light,long and over extended famines, increased earthquakes, tsunamis and volcanic activity, all the plagues of Egypt , brought against this world...and God calls it a time of woe..great and terrible sorrow but that's only half of it.. in the meantime there is a global dictator who is going to force everyone to worship him, which goes against God's laws., and all those who do are destined for the same place satan and his cohorts are going...straight down to the lake of fire.. but He has provided a way out, for those who are genuine in wanting to find life eternal...if you call on the Name of the Lord Jesus Christ, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you shall be saved.. Romans 10:9...for all hearts are open to Him, and all desires known... revenge ? naaaaaaaaaaahh...

Answer 5

To reveal this info and hurt the innocent person will invalidate any justification you have for your grudge against her. You in essence will be doing exactly what she has done. The best revenge is always SUCCESS. Move on with your life and cut her out of the loop. There is a lot of truth in the saying "What goes around comes around". Eventually, she will get hers and your hands will be clean.

Answer 6

Do not play on how you feel about her. If you show her that it is getting to you, then she will just continue trying to make you look like the bad guy. Ignore what she says and stay strong for your kids. And maybe once she realizes that you are not playing in her game, she will stop because she will not have anyone to play with. You have to be the bigger person in this. Good luck! :)

Answer 7

I personally do not feel that revenge is a good thing especially if it will hurt an innocent bystander. I know easier said than done, but the best thing is to just stay away from her. You don't need bad people in your life and it definitely sounds like she is a bad egg. I would definitely keep my kids away from her in the future.

Answer 8

My experience is that revenge rarely, if ever, achieves what you want and ususally makes things worse for you. A good way to burn off the feeling of revenge is to write out what you want to say or do, and then tear it up. Just getting it down on paper or on the computer is a good way to start getting over it without doing more damage.

Answer 9

she is who she is and she does what she does. You will soon be out of her life for the most part...I suggest that you stay away from her and all the people like her! The best way to get revenge is to watch as the world slowly discovers that she is a liar and a cheat....and as always watch your back! there is more to come from her. You will see it in court though.

Answer 10

invite her over for coffee and ask her why she hates u and then tell her for the sake of the children u must get along and that u want her in Ur life ...then when she trust u maybe u and her can find common grounds !! then u wait for the right time and get Ur revenge hehe