I was seeing this guy mike for 5 months off and on and he was very abusive yet stupid me id forgive him . He got mad at like every little thing i did. I've even ended up in the hospital because of him. I did not tell my parents he did anything, i just told them i fell down the stairs, and they think hes a good guy, he kept saying hed change yet he didnt. I always would say id leave him for good yet for some reason i still like him i dont know why. Now i've moved but he still keeps in contact with me and i thought i was over him untill he visited for thanksgiving break, we were doing really good the first few days and i realized that im still into him. I dont know how to get over him.Also when he was over here he told me how much he still likes me and wishes things could be different and how much he changed. I'm soo CONFUSED. I know I'm stupid for still being into him,.
2006-11-25 06:04:10 · 12 answers · asked by ash 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Call your local community mental health center. There you could get into group counseling to help you get out. And, if he is abusive report him to the police. I see this daily in my work.
2006-11-25 06:19:38 · answer #1 · answered by tomarescobar 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Ash, if 'Mike' is his actual name then you are likely to face more problems if he sees this site. Be careful...
Now let's see what can be done...
(1) Avoid all his phone calls, e-mails, meeting him, going to places where you are likely to meet him... Plus, change your cell phone number.
(2) If you happen to see him, make it obvious that you are ignoring him but don't insult him in presence of his or your friends. He may become more aggressive.
(3) Avoid being alone. Have a friend with you all the time whenever you are outside or better be in a large group.
(4) Tell the facts to your family members. They will surely give you much more help than "Yahoo Answers"... though we all respect you & have complete empathy with you.
Well, these were the preliminary measures to avoid him.
Let's see how to get rid of him from your mind/heart...
Lets face it Ash... You like him and feel that you can't live without him. The reasons could be many...
Probably, he has helped you at many occassions and you are under the pressure (obligations)...
Probably, you feel, how can you leave him after so many months when all your friends and family members 'know' that you are going steady...
Probably, he loves you (or that's what you feel) and you feel that you can't ditch him especially if he is under certain other pressures...
Whatever be the reason you MUST leave him. Although you have not mentioned, I am assuming that either he is or he will black-mail you emotionally that he will kill himself etc. Trust me... nothing will happen. He will slowly forget you and perhaps start troubling someone else...
So far as your emotions are concerned, you will forget him much easily than you think. Ash, just remember that if you know you are on a wrong road it's always sensible to take a turn and choose the correct one... earlier the better.
All the best...
2006-11-25 07:07:28 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My friend, I'm sorry to say your situation is pretty normal and common. Please read the book, the sociapath next door but first, forget about the WHYs and WHEREFORs. Sociapaths are great at "acting" and manipulating people. BEFORE THAT, GET OUT. TELL EVERYBODY YOU KNOW. SERIOURSLY. Report him to the police and get a restraining order. Go get counceling.
Even though, you "like" him, you have to DRAW THE LINE. He does not care about you, except in the way, you may care for a pair of shoes. Accept that you are still attracted to him and get help as soon as possible. The guy is a monster. Some day he may KILL you or just keep beating you up like the COWARD he is.
This guy is NOT a MAN. He is a coward who needs to feel like a man by dominating you and beating you up. If you don't draw the line it WILL get worse.
CALL THE POLICE. GET A RESTRAINING ORDER ON THE @#@. GO TO A SUPPORT GROUP. RIGHT AWAY. FIND YOUR NEAREST SHELTER OR RAPE CRISIS CENTER.
Stop playing around and worrying about your feelings. Stop calling yourself stupid. NO EXCUSES. GET OUT NOW. RESPECT YOURSELF FIRST.
TELL YOUR FRIENDS WHAT HE DOES TO YOU. THIS IS HIM ITS NOT YOU. Again stop fooling around. You control your life and should take action right away. TELL YOUR PARENTS!!! ISOLATE HIM.
Sorry for yelling but this kind of stuff makes me quite angry. Stop looking for excuses. There are NONE. The ball is in your court. There is lots you can do but you have to DO it. That's not easy.
You also have to accept that the guy you feel in love with NEVER EXISTED. THIS GUY IS AN ACTOR.
2006-11-25 06:26:35 · answer #3 · answered by rostov 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are not stupid, you re just in love. And love is foolish sometimes. The good point that i can see is that you admit that he is abusive.you have to know also that he will never change.
You ve got now jus one problem how to get over him? My suggestion would be, cut all of your contacts with him, don't comuniacate..and don't go in those places were you used to go out. If he doesn't leave you alone for any reason don't be foolish to keep it for yourself. Talk with your family about it and tell them the truth.
Trust me you will get over him. After a while you wont remember what kind of eyes he have.
Take care and good luck.
2006-11-25 06:11:02 · answer #4 · answered by invisible1 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Youre not stupid.
When you love someone, its hard to get over him, even if he is not someone worth loving.
What you need to do. Is realise that you are a wonderful person, completely worthy of NOT having to put up with abuse.
Not just this, but there are lots of men out there, who are absolutely great guys, and who would love to treat you right.
Move on. You dont deserve this.
Noone does.
Tell him youre over and done with (and make sure you do it over the phone or in the presence of others so that he cant take out his anger on you).
After that, dont answer his calls, dont email him, and definitely dont see him.
Move on. meet other people. Thats what will help you get over him.
2006-11-25 06:16:30 · answer #5 · answered by Joe Shmoe 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are not stupid. Many girls feel this way after a break-up. You should go out with other people and think about how better life would be without him. Men that are abusive are terrible people in my opinion. Take my advice and I am sure you will get over him. I wish you all the best of luck.
2006-11-25 06:16:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Face it, that man will never change. You are just looking for a kid to mother, and he likes and wants a mother. Surely you want better in life. Change your phone number. When he comes to see you don't open the door. Make him get the picture he needs to move on. If you hang out with him you will ruin your life. Surely you have more respect for yourself than that. Get away quick, make your own life, change your name if you have to but learn how NOT to accept friendships even like this. Get some training from a psychologist or counselor of some kind as to how to change from your being a door mat.
2006-11-25 06:09:14 · answer #7 · answered by sophieb 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Dig deep. There must of been a reason you didnt break up with him. Find it so that you know what to look for if you give him another shot. If he is still abusive, then leave him for good. If you search and cant find it, then chances are you actully miss be abused, which is not good. So do not get back with him if you cant find a reason to like him. I dont want to see you get hurt.
2006-11-25 07:33:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
i know for sure when u will stop.
WHEN HE ENDS UR LIFE. MAYB BY ACCIDENT OR PLANNED.
why r women so stupid? so many nice givin guys around but they go 4 the animals.
2006-11-25 06:19:18 · answer #9 · answered by i-colbert 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I am at least glad that you concede that you are stupid. There are perfectly good men out there who you probably thumb your nose at who could treat you very well and you choose to be with a jerk. Well, you get what you ask for.
My pity goes to people who did not create their own problems.
2006-11-25 06:06:59 · answer #10 · answered by James 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋