i love her smile i love her eyes
the tears of rain fall from her sky
i love her touch the kiss on my lips
the way we danced and moved out hips
open up my angel let her sing through
dancing in the darkness forever true
thrown down my senses let them be
is this love i truly see
i love what love does to me
i love how i feel so free
i love her strength within
i love lifting her chin
open up my angel let her sing through
dancing in the darkness forever true
flying with my angel flying high
taking you into my undying skys
oh...i love it when she smiles i love it when she laughs
ooo...i love when we say we shall never part
coming around again i see my love true
i sing to her im here for you forever through
flying with my angel flying so high
dancing in the darkness in our sky
flying stars of hope deep in our eyes
i sit and lift her head and stop her crys
open up my angel let her sing through
dancing in the darkness forever true
thrown down my senses let them be
is this love i truly see
2006-11-25 05:57:01 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
Wow, that is so beautiful.
No, it does not sound like a letter, it's definately a poem and it has a story somewhere in there. I wouldn't mind hearing it, i'm interested. I've written a few poems but they're not constructed well like yours is very well done. mine all have stories burried somewhere in them. How i came to writting whatever i wrote or what they're about.
best of luck, and keep on rolling
~just a Youngling
ps. i chocked on a paperclip because that's how i roll
2006-11-25 06:08:07 · answer #1 · answered by Youngling 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it should be "moved our hips" not out
the "lifting her chin" sounds a bit odd there, perhaps change it to "Love makes me sing"
skies is spelled like that.
what about "say that we shall never part" it will scan better.
"I sing to her i'm here for you forever through" is a bit complicated - what does "forever through" mean - try "I sing to her my whole life through".
try "dancing in the darkness, flying in our sky", marries the theme of flying and sounds better. Then use shining stars instead of flying.
cries is spelled like that
I LOVE IT - IT'S A SONG - YOU NEED TO RECORD IT - EXCELLENT.
2006-11-25 06:12:37 · answer #2 · answered by Carrie S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I rate it a 10
2006-11-25 06:04:08 · answer #3 · answered by candylicker_2010 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Boring Letter.
2006-11-25 06:04:56 · answer #4 · answered by Ollie 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
its good but change round tohe order of some words in your poem to make u ound more smart. like instead of saying something like bob sad hi, write hi said bob. shakespear used this all the time. hope this
helps mate
2006-11-25 06:01:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's definitely a poem written about someone I sure hope you love!
2006-11-25 05:59:32 · answer #6 · answered by joshatgrace 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it's an excellent poem. Well done. If you've written it for someone special I'm sure they'll love it.
2006-11-25 06:32:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's reallyyyyyyyyyyyyyy good. Nice details. If you wrote that yourself, that's great! i hope u have a love to give it too!
*smile*
2006-11-25 06:06:18 · answer #8 · answered by lilmissperfect_2013 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hell no im not reading all that my bro has a hockey game in a few min and im not even ready
2006-11-25 06:00:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
That is a very beautiful poem.
2006-11-25 07:05:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋