Continue After Deception??

Question

Plz answer only if either you, your mate, or the both of you have cheated on one another. Are you still together? Have you gotten married since? Have you gotten over the past??? How did you??? Or was it a mistake to stay together after ??? Advice and situations plz

The deception was over 2 years before marriage on both ends.

Answer 1

I'll tell you my situation now and you take yours however is best for you...But you are one I had to answer!
In 2000 me and my man got together, ran smooth and moved in the same apartment (with both of us being on the lease) neither one of us even being able to move if we wanted, cause living in D.C and the $$$ included and maken it on your own, don't cut it too good.
We had our Little I love you time, then after about 5 months, he pulls the line that he thinks we need'a slow down, yet still live together. Well the lease makes that a have to be and my friggan love feelings stayed too, he went out and about (thinking it was all under the table) and do his thing yet come home sweet talking me. I might be smiling on the outside but using every name in the book inside me. A friend of mine from the Walter Reed Hospital would have me come over and he told me he was gonna teach me to play the Mans roll. So my room-ate/off and on/boyfriend would go out on his "Business" and i would say I had to go out too...That opened his ears..."What'ch-u mean go out? With who?"...Really I was across the street ant the hospital with my friends working nights, as his *** was home wondering where I was and if someone else actually had me?...That went on to where he asked me to marry him and like a dumb-*** I said yes!...It is now 2006 and we argue over **** that he has done to me back in D.C, Texas, everything....For some damn reason if you have been hurt with ANY CHEATING INVOLVED???...I will more than guarantee you it will destroy your marriage. If I could I would have NEVER left D.C!
Good Luck and I honestly pray you don't go through anything like I have and still do to this day. When I've tried to even go so low to get help (counseling)...They've told me that if I stayed with my Tee through the B.S he did, he is gonna always figure inside that I will be there through anything, so he ain't never gonna stop. True cause his *** does to this day!
Good Luck!

Answer 2

You seem confused, and this question begs for some answers. It will take 15 minutes to write this to you.... and I hope in the end, you can see some things that are not clear to you. If you have questions, feel free to drop me a line back:

What IS marriage????
Marriage is Respect, Admiration, Passion, and Trust. If your mate has share Passion with another, that is the ultimate betrayal, and you can no longer trust that person. If the respect and admiration are not already gone, they soon will be....it will just all erode.... And any counselor will tell you that cheating -- the ultimate betrayal of your marriage (your vows, your committment, your love, all of it) -- even in counseling will take more than two years to rebuild, even if both of you want to save it. And even then, there is for sure no guarantee. Resentment will rear its ugly head no matter...no matter how long it will be, no matter what your wishes.... You may be able to forgive, but there will always be that little "itch" back there---'he's late, where is he?' kind of thing.

I knew this already, about marriage, and when I found my ex had cheated, that very instant, I practically vomited in his face. I left the state, told him to sell everything,( our house, our common investments, told him to get the divorce, he was staying, he could tell his friends anything he wanted) and split it (he was an adulterer, not a thief) and settled into a new life, a new job, and found the prince, who treats me like a queen.... (It is nice to again fall in love, and sleep in the arms of the man who adores you and who you adore.)

I wouldn't have even tried to save it.... was so disgusted could never think again of being intimate with a man who had shared his body and soul with another woman...walked away from an 18 year marriage, and never NEVER looked back.

Answer 3

*heavy sigh
both my husband and i have been unfaithful at some point in our marriage. (damn internet) we chose to stay together and try to work it out because we knew the cheating was a manifestation of other wrongs going on in the marriage. every day is a new day to us and sometimes it is really hard. but we are in it for the long haul. there is no doubt that we love each other. and since there are no children involved it would have been soo easy just to divorce and move on. chalk this up to a bad choice and forget about it. but we both married for better or worse. and sometimes we bring the worst out our selves.

Answer 4

Hi Mom!

Both my husband and I were married before and were cheated on.

This is just our opinion!!!

We could not remain. Once the trust is broken there is no foundation. Children suffered and lives were destroyed!!!

It was hard for us to try to starty again. But having been through similar experiences we talked and became friends first.

We believe in God and were able to Forgive and move on. noe I said Forgive. Not forget!
You can go on!!!
Best wishes

Answer 5

Once a cheater, always a cheater. If you stay in a relationship once your partner has cheated on you, then you deserve whatever happens. Sorry, there's just no polite way to answer your question.

Answer 6

yes it would be a mistake to stay with someone like that because the trust is gone dear and there is no point in staying with them because of the loss . how would you ever begin to think it was okay to stay with someone like that? oh no never do it again . good luck and god bless and happy holidays.