ive been with my hubby for 11yrs and i love him to death. he works alot (midnights) and im a stay home mom. 3 yrs ago i started playing an online video game and ended up meeting a "friend". we can talk via headset on the game and have gotten very close and very flirty in the last 3 yrs. but now i can't get him out of my mind. we have NEVER seen each other not even a picture. there is EXTREME sexual tension between us. everyone on our game knows that we are like this. we always talk bout how we can never meet because we would just attack each other. he is on east coast and im in midwest. but the thing is i love my hubby and when he is around we are great together. we have a wonderful life and could NEVER leave him. but as soon as he walks out that door i can think of nothing but my "friend" my question is can i be in love with 2 men at the same time?
2006-11-25 05:42:59 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i've tried to give up my "friend" a few times over last 3 yrs but i keep finding myself back on the game. i actually like to play this game alot and i don't just play to be with him but its part of the appeal of the game. i can't help it. i do LOVE my hubby and when we are together i don't even think bout my "friend" i am also involved in MANY activities , remember im a SAHM and i am involved in all activities that i can find. i spend alot of time with my "real friends" alot too during the day. i play my game during the midnight hours. when im alone and can't find find anything to do.
2006-11-25 05:58:15 · update #1
From personal experience your answer, though your situation is unique, is yes and you shouldn't feel guilty about it. Both men and women are non-monogamous by nature/monogamous by social conditioning. Human have the capability of loving more than one person at a time with diminishing the love for each of them. Monogamy and the love for more than one person, as societies in the world is in a slight minority and the history of societies based on monogamy is a recent phenomena.
I am not endorsing you "stepping out" on your husband. I am saying it is a normal occurance. But it does have power on your marriage and it is cheating if you don't tell your husband about it and how you feel about your "friend." So, I hope you have a frank and open discussion with your husband soon.
2006-11-25 08:37:56 · answer #1 · answered by jryanwinterhaven 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont think you love both. i think you have a replacement for when your hubby is gone. Not someone you want to leave him for, but someone that you can have to fill the void.
My boyfriend was working alot, and doing alot of errands for people. I started hanging out with my friend, Mike. Mike and i had great chemistry, and people thought we were seeing each other on the sly. But we werent. He just did the things i wasnt getting from my boyfriend. We would go to the mall, drive, watch movies. We both knew that we had feelings, but they were not something we could act upon.
Sometimes you just need someone to pay more attention. Mike and i dont hang out as much anymore, because my bf started doing the things he needed to. Talk to your hubby about any lonliness or feelings of being ignored that you have.
And dont take this man too seriously. More than likely, he's going through the same thing on his end. Just remember how much you love your husband. Lots of luck to you!!
2006-11-25 13:50:51 · answer #2 · answered by kissamoose217 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might be able to have feelings for both men, but if you allow yourself to indulge in thinking about or having feelings for a man other than your husband, your marriage will ultimately suffer. You need to talk to your husband about what is going on and work this out as a couple. You should stop playing that game and sever all ties with this other man, telling your husband about what is going on might make it easier to keep from contacting the other man. There are many online games you can play, you could find a new one that doesn't involve this other man. Just be sure not to get too attached to players in your new game or you might end up with the same problem all over again. If you aren't comfortable talking to your husband about this - get couseling on your own. This is a very dangerous situation for your marriage. You owe it to yourself, your husband, and your children to sever all ties to this other man and refuse to allow yourself to think of him. Anytime you think of him replace the thought with one of the many things you love about your husband. Try spending your free time obsessing about what a wonderful, loving, supportive husband you have. I hope everything goes well for you. Good Luck!
2006-11-25 14:21:57 · answer #3 · answered by Steph 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
After 11 years, you may just be bored with routine. You have what seems to be a good husband yet, you dream of someone you don't know. You are excited by the unknown, that someone finds you attractive, and that it's forbidden. Hon, don't throw away what many have and what others yearn to have. You have too much time on your hands.....get busy falling in love and lust with your hubby. Get counseling.
2006-11-25 13:49:37 · answer #4 · answered by pirulee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No ! I think you are still in love with your husband. Your on line friend only fills the gap when your husband is not around and you get lonely You just like to be preoccupied with talking to someone you have not yet met. You are just a bored housewife . How can you love someone you have not met in person yet.
2006-11-25 13:58:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are confusing the word love. The real love is with your husband, the man who's shared your life for the past 11 years. You are infatuated with your "friend". He shows you attention and kindness and you must be craving that.
You should try to put that effort back into your marriage instead of spinning your wheels with someone you've never met.
2006-11-25 13:47:13 · answer #6 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think if you continue this you will end up divorced. Turn the tables, how would you feel if you found out your husband was doing this? I do not feel that you can be in love with 2 men. And it definitely will not work out for you in the end if you continue.
2006-11-25 13:49:22 · answer #7 · answered by atlgirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This isn't love, this is you need more going on in your real life. Cyberlife is fake. Get out of the house, join something, and when you go on line, start a sexy email conversation with your husband.
2006-11-25 13:48:20 · answer #8 · answered by libby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO..Stop what your doing, You say you love your husband deeply, so act like it..
2006-11-25 13:47:00 · answer #9 · answered by Shem 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
stop what you are doing now. you are giving a part of yourself that you promised your husband to someone else. stop it.
2006-11-25 13:45:58 · answer #10 · answered by tigweldkat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋